I am just recently getting into the whole personality thing. I am BORED! I have grown very cynical and negative about the world and people the last couple of years, I think because I am so bored with this seemingly pointless, redundant thing we call life. What is the point? I am married with three children and the only reason I go to work is because I have a sense of duty and I know I need to provide for my family, but there is no interest in it. I get bored at almost any job after 6 months once I feel I've gotten 90% of what I need to perform the function.
So, here is what I've come up with so far...every personality test I've taken pretty much consistently pegs me as an INTJ, though every description I've read tells me I'm an INTP except for one nagging difference. I am extremely organized. I like to know where my things are at all the time. My wife is the opposite, a total pack rat, disorganized, always late to appointments. I can't stand being late to anything. I am very absent-minded but I have taught myself to write things down so I don't forget. To-do lists are the only way I get anything done.
I do consider myself a thinker and school has always come extremely easy for me, I can put everything of until the last minute and I still graduated from my local University with 3.75 gpa. The only reason I wasn't 4.0 is because I lack follow-through.
So...after the background, here's me:
I have grown completely numb of all emotion because to me it is a sign of weakness. I don't know if this is a personality thing or upbringing, or just the way I've become because of my boredom with life.
I am only truly happy when I'm learning something new. I have taught myself several instruments, including the piano, I joined a choir for a time, I am the family IT guy, I have dabbled in gardening, automotive/motorcycle repair/upgrades, I could probably completely remodel an entire house if I put my mind to it. Basically, I love to learn something, but once I've gotten a decent understand of anything, I get bored and move on. I somethings think the only way I could be truly happy is if I simply attended school, obtaining degree after degree for the rest of my life. I LOVE SCHOOL, but I have no desire to get a PHD in anything, rather a BS in everything. I want to know everything.
My father is really the only person in my entire life I've ever been able to carry on an intelligent conversation with because we can talk and theorize about complex, abstract concepts like trying to understand eternity for hours. And when discussing these things, the world needs to go away, any distractions just piss me off to be honest when I'm thinking about something deeply. My dad is a definite INTP. The biggest difference between me and him is I can't stand clutter, being late to appointments, not having everything put away all the time, and I prefer to be clean (mostly). My wife keeps a very cluttered house and part of this I think I have learned because it makes me so angry when I trip on something walking through the house in the dark. Though I am extremely organized in day to day things, I DO NOT like schedules. A vacation that is scheduled out every hour of the day simply isn't worth taking, I am very impulsive and can up and decide at the last minute to take a road trip just for fun. Since I don't like to plan things, I tend to forget half the stuff I need, but that is part of the adventure is making it work without every possible thing I need. My wife is the opposite (another point of our frustration), when going on a trip, she needs to take 10 pairs of clothes for everyone in the family and the kitchen sink, just in case we need it...
I have been depressed the last couple of years, I think mainly from boredom. I simply can't afford to keep picking up new hobbies, though I would be entirely happy if I could. I am desperately seeking a career choice that will keep me engaged for years to come.
Regarding emotions...another big difference me and the classic INTP from what I've read is that I can hold a grudge if it is something I remember. I do get hurt, not at all easily, but people close to me can hurt me deeply and I can hold a grudge for years. 98% of these things I completely forget about and it is easy to move on, but there have been a few things that have cut me deep and I have trouble letting go of. So I am not the completely emotionless person as INTPs are often described.
The reason I posted this on here is because I read an article on the INTP at intp . org / intprofile . html
I laughed through most of it as it seemed to describe me so accurately except for the obvious differences. I enjoyed the article as it felt like someone understood me, like I'm not alone in the world. I have felt alone and different from 95% of the population for most of my life. Which is really okay because 95% of the population I don't view as intelligent, logical or reasonable enough to carry on meaningful conversations with anyway. Most of the population seems to be guided more by emotion rather than logic which makes me a bit angry because you can't debate with people like this. Every time you try to make a reasonable argument, an emotional person (most everybody) completely ignores what you're saying and says it's not right because we should all live in happy fairy land where everyone gets everything for free. I hate large crowds as I can't stand emotional people and I don't find the normal partying, getting drunk scene fun. I do like relationships, but one-on-one, meaningful, rather than abundant relationships. I don't even find women attractive that are not of above average intelligence. I find a brain much more attractive that a stupid sexy body.
I'm hoping someone on here with more experience with this can help. Are there others like me? Organized, punctual INTPs? Or am I not that at all? Am I trying to cram myself in to a box when I shouldn't? Am I testing as INTJ/INTP simply because I'm angry and cynical right now or does it have more to do with my personality?? Am I answering these personality tests by considering who I want to be or who my father is, rather than who I am? I am confused, lost and alone.
I despise redundancy, inefficiency and unintelligent, emotional people. I can handle unintelligent and I can sometimes handle emotional people, but I can't stand them together. Is this my personality or am I just bitter because life seems so meaningless? I come across as crass and unfeeling sometimes, and I really don't like hurting anyone's feelings, so I tend to just keep to myself and not say a whole lot...unless I'm with my dad and we're discussing the birth of the universe, black holes, time travel and the time-space continuum in complex theoretical detail, then you can't shut me up.
Any help would be most appreciated. Sorry if I rambled on. I tend to do this as well. I don't like going back and editing.