Hi everyone! I thought I had my type pegged down, but lately a lot of doubts have been popping into my mind, so I'd appreciate your thoughts or your help :)
I discovered MBTI a couple years ago, and every test I've ever taken since then has said I'm an INTJ. I read the description to it, and thought, "Yeah, that's pretty much me." Some of the descriptions never quite fit me--like how INTJ's are supposed to have no qualms about saying blunt statements to people that may hurt their feelings, and they would only restrain themselves if it suits their purposes (or if they really, really like this person). That's not really me. Although I may be screaming a criticism in my head, it would take a whole lot for me to actually say it outloud. They'd have to say something that was extremely illogical or that went against my core values. But I worry about hurting their feelings. INTJ's are also supposed to have a big interest in science and math, and I couldn't care less about either (except for genetics, which I find fascinating). I'm much more English oriented. I tried to tell myself that not everyone follows everything in the descriptions, so that doesn't mean I'm not an INTJ.
But I kept looking around at similar types to see if I felt more of a connection there. I considered that I was an INTP for awhile, since they're like a laid back version of INTJ (and for OCD reasons as I discussed on a different thread). But I'm way too J to be a P.
I'm certain that I'm an IN_J. I used to be certain that I was a T, because I really value logic and try to evaluate things with a cold, analytical eye. I also don't feel natural empathy that I see in people around me.
But then something happened. I was bored, and so I started reading some stories that I had written when I was 10-15 (I'm 26 now). And to my shock, my stories and writings were definitely Feeler-oriented. All of them were shamelessly about relationships, and the characters demonstrated my core values about humanity. It really made me think. From age 15 until now, I've undergone extremely difficult circumstances and challenges in my life. Because of these prolonged extreme hardships, I went into survival mode, and I remember consciously telling myself, "You need to suppress your emotions; they will not get you out of this situation. You must learn to strategize without regarding emotions." And so I did.
So now I'm left wondering . . . am I truly an INFJ who has adopted an INTJ personality because it's a better 'survival mode' type? Did I used to be an INFJ but turned into an INTJ? Or am I really an INTJ and I'm just talking crap? lol.
Ever since this realization that I have been suppressing my emotions, I've been consciously trying to tap into my emotions again. I've also been doing an experiment--if I tell myself in my head that I'm a Feeler instead of a Thinker, will it feel right? And yes, it does. (I know this last bit has no logical bearing on my type, but I thought I'd include it anyway.)
What do you guys think?