Am I really an INFJ/Type 4 ?

Greetings helpful users of the "What's my personality type" sub-forum!

I come to you today to get some opinions about whether you think my current type is correct and -if you can- perhaps also lose some words on my Enneagram type.

I have had little doubt about being an INFJ since I started to delve deeper into MBTI and JCF theory, but some comments I got still made me think it might be a good idea to allow others to give some input, for curiousity's sake, if nothing else.

As for Enneagram type, I never had taken a test for it before coming here, so I did the PerC one and got Type 4, but this too was cast doubt on.

Anyway, I would be very thankful for your input. Also, I plan to do the other questionaire soon as well, but I think these 20 questions are a good start.


1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

Mostly how I use my thinking function. It sometimes seemed to me like I am a more of a Thinker than a Feeler and I actually even got "INTJ" on some personality tests, however I still seem to have a strong focus on people. Cognitive Function tests, though, tend to give me INFJ (or rarely ENFJ, but that usually only happens when I am in excellent mood while answering them, bad mood seems to move it towards INTJ again).

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?

Reply hazy. Try again later.

No, but seriously: I think I have a really "conservative" view of my ideal life. Decent job, loving wife, perhaps a few children and a nice home. Apart from that, there was a time when my most sought after thing were capital-T Truth and capital-W Wisdom, but I think my expectations have shrunk a bit, I still desire to decipher as much of existence as I can.

Why? Hmmm, why indeed? It seems natural to me. I always had this fantasy of a happy family life and as for the other stuff, I just have a deep urge to uncover some meaning to existence or at least make an appropriate one for myself.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.

Hmm, I really needed to think on that one. I think I feel at my finest when I, through action or word, improved someone's life or made them a better person or when they at least appreciated my insights or knowledge in a meaningful way.

I guess I like this because it makes me feel needed and valuable. It verifies my own existence, too. And... well, it also just simply gives me warm, fuzzy feelings.

4) What makes you feel inferior?

A lot of things can make me feel inferior, really. Some examples are being criticised for being the way I am, being undoubtedly proven wrong in an intellectual discussion, being around men that are very successful with the ladies or being alone among large crowds. While it is not immediately obvious, I do often question my worth as a romantic partner, too.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)

When making decision that only really affect myself I simply focus on what I like and what fits my way of living and being. When making decisions that affect other people I try to find a good middle-ground between pure results and the needs of the people involved. In rare cases I might make pro and contra lists, but I usually go with what "feels" right.

However, something I noticed is that I can get a bit pushy when a person does not make their needs clear. I can feel a bit let down when other people do not allow me to consider them. That can make the final result feel somewhat imperfect.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?

I am comfortable with other people taking the lead, if I believe they are competent, especially since I am not a fan of standing too much in the centre of attention. However, if I notice that the current lead is not up to the task or there is nobody better suited, I am fine with leading. I try to find the strengths of my teammates and then assign parts of the projects that way for the most efficiency. Although, I guess I slightly prefer a "right-hand man" or "seneschal" position. But yes, I definitely want to be able to affect the outcome in a positive fashion.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?

A good example would be playing video games with my friends, especially if things go totally off the rails and we are just having some silly fun to the point where I can hardly breathe anymore from laughing so much. Obviously, my memories of these events are very fond.

As a matter of fact, I think most of the times where I had "a lot of fun" it involved lots of silly fun with friends.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)


Well, usually I start with reading a bit on the topic and try to grasp the fundamental basis of it. Giving me the basics of an idea or topic usually is enough to give me a rough idea about the details and what I think about it. If I do not like the way it is explained then I usually take some time to put it into a form that I can more easily understand within my mind. This can involve quite a bit of talking to myself.

If the something I want to learn is something practical, I like "learning by doing" and "trail and error" approach if at all possible (and safe), but I tend to take some time to internalize it at least a bit before actually trying to do it.

I can be a bit impatient, so I like understanding something quickly.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?

Depends very much on the situation. In private, I am quite disorganised, but I try to keep a basic level of order anyway. At work or when I am preparing something for others I put significantly more effort into it being well-organised and looking good.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?

I definitely do both, but finding information that supports it is mainly done so I can see how my own judgement of the idea measures up and to see where I think the information (or my own judgement) has flaws.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?

Being myself is definitely very important to me, but humans are social animals living in complex societies and when the good of the group is negatively affected by my individualism then I will adjust as necessary (to a point), except if I consider the requirements fundamentally unfair.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?

Under normal circumstances I definitely think before speaking, but sometimes when I am in a very good mood I can sometimes blurt out stuff thoughtlessly.

One-on-one all the way. I think that is the only way to truly reach someone else, whether it is just for having silly fun or profound debates.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

I definitely check before jumping.

Well, talking and planning is good and fine, but at some point something must actually be done. I cannot really say which one is metaphorically speaking "louder".

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?

I go with my friends. I can watch that episode at any other point in my life later, but exactly the same chance to spend time with friends can only be spend once in your entire life. It is not going to come back, so I rather go with the unique and memorable time.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?

I tend to be in major inner turmoil, but people rarely notice that. When I am stressed I can contain it within myself rather well. If it reaches breaking point I tend to try to get distance form other people and focus on solving the stress or getting it under control.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?

I think the easiest way to do this is a short list of some attributes:

• rudeness
• selfishness
• arrogance
• unwillingness to change opinions
• intolerance
• unable to be serious when necessary
• self-centeredness
• unprincipled

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?

My interests. I love it when I have an intense but civil discussion about a topic I care about. However, I tend to get even more passionate when I am actually "teaching" other people about things I know a lot about, like History, for example.

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?

That is a difficult one to answer since whatever I am not paying enough attention to is probably not even acknowledged by me.

I will post if something good comes to mind.



19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?

Well, when I asked them I was told things like "kind", "nice", "quirky fun", "smart" and "wise", but also "odd". I was also told I am a "watch tower" whatever was meant with that exactly.

I do not think I am in any position to say whether I am "nice" or "wise", but I think I am smarter than the average person. Also, these compliments embarrass me.

I asked what my personality is not like and I got "boring", "rude", "dumb".

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

Probably reading books or interesting articles on the internet or playing video games. If I have no other obligations I would probably do some exercise and cardio-training as well.

I'm not too familiar with discerning enneagram types but from my understanding, type 2 is more outwardly validation seeking (wanting to feel love from many) whereas type 4 is looking for a deep understanding in themselves and maybe one other person to share this with. i.e. dom Fe generally develops to type 2, and dom Fi to type 4. Considering the wings, 1/3 vs 3/5, response 16) points closely to wing 1.

Alright, since I asked for an Enneagram assessment as well as MBTI I stole this questionaire from the Ennegram sub-forum (thanks to @PlushWitch for drawing my attention to the existence of this test). It might also help with the MBTI assesment.


Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

I think making a positive impact on the world, however small it might be, and just living a life I can judge as "good" when all is said and done. Learning and expanding my horizon are definitely just as important too, most of the things I like have some intellectual side to them. Apart from that, I hate to get mushy, but "Love" is pretty high on my list too, but I am a bit too cynical about the whole deal to put too much faith in it, but you never know! I am still open to being surprised.

If you would like a dramatic and concise answer: "True Wisdom"

Imagine that being said in a slow, deep voice I do not actually possess.


2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I think I pretty much already answered this above.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

Being untrue to myself and having made the world a worse place by my existence.

My values? Now this is a complicated one to answer. I guess it might be best to just present some key words: Loyalty, Integrity, Tolerance, Willingness to Learn, Respecting others and Honesty.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

• Making an error I will never be able to forgive myself or failing in such a fashion that I could not forgive myself. Learning from errors is part of every life, but at least for me, I think some errors could blight my whole life. No I do not have any concrete examples, just a general perception.
• Losing sight of what is important. Fundamentally, I do not wish to waste my existence.
• Having absolutely no one in this world to connect with and see things even remotely my way. I have been a bit of a pariah at some points of my life, but realising I would be all alone could be crushing to me.
• Being betrayed by someone I trusted completely. I am not one to trust easily, but if someone has earned it and still abuses it... well, it would not help my already shaken view of human nature.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I would prefer to be seen as helpful and wise. As someone you can trust and who knows a thing or two about the world.

How I see myself is heavily dependant on my mood and general circumstances of my life. The difference can be so extreme I think it would almost amount to lying if I made a firm statement here. Few attributes I ascribe to myself are set in stone for me, one I rarely let go off, though, is feeling that I am rather smart.

Reading the above paragraph again, I can say one thing, though: I am definitely very critical of myself.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

Best: When I have helped someone better themselves, by word or deed. When I have taught someone something of worth. When I convince someone to see things my way.

Worst: When I am brooding over my failings. When I am proven intellectually inferior to someone else.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) Anger: I think it is very internal for me. I can keep anger bottled up for quite a while, to the point it might become hard to tell for others I am even angry in the first place. Once I reach my limit though, I can unleash some serious Righteous Fury.

b) Shame: Usually I feel shame, when I think I failed myself or others. In rare cases it might be invoked by others when someone is seriously making fun of me. In those cases I try my best to get some distance from people and internally process what went wrong, probably beating myself up over it.

c) This question should probably be "When are you NOT experiencing anxiety?" for me. To which I would have to answer: Rarely. It am in a state of low-level anxiety most of the time, for all kinds of reasons. This is not noticeable by others at all, but I feel it within myself. I have a hard time with simply relaxing. There always seems to be something on my mind that gives me anxiety.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a) Stress: I tend to be in major inner turmoil, but people rarely notice that. When I am stressed I can contain it within myself rather well. If it reaches breaking point I tend to try to get distance form other people and focus on solving the stress or getting it under control.

b) Unexpected Change: Not a fan of it at all. I like a certain degree of order and predictability in my life. I am not opposed to change at all, in fact, it is quite necessary. I just prefer some to time prepare myself to it. If I am in a situation of unexpected change, I try to focus on the change and find out how this will affect me and in what ways I will have to adept.

c) Conflict: I try my best to resolve it quickly and efficiently in a mutually agreeable fashion. Ongoing conflict is really hard on my psyche and makes me extremely restless, but at the same time stubborn. If the conflict cannot be resolved at all, I distance myself from the source of conflict as best as I can.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a) Authority: I have no problem with following authority if I consider them to be doing a good job. If I do not think they are doing a good job, I can get obstinate. Before I am able to make a proper judgement I tend to be wary, though. I think having some authorities around is simply necessary in certain situations and I appreciate them, until they screw up.

I also have no problem with being an authority if necessary, but there have not been too many chances in my life for that, yet.

b) Power: Power corrupts, but some people need to have power to keep society from falling apart. My response is pretty similar to authority: If they are still doing a good job, they have my respect, otherwise they must be removed or resisted against.

The thought of having some major power of my own does appeal to certain parts of me, definitely. Power is intoxicating, if you are not careful!

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?


My outlook on life is in strong flux, but I think every human should try to make the best out of the time they have been given, while avoiding to negatively affect other people as much as possible. Life can be a great gift or a great curse, but since we are here already, we might as well give it a decent shot to make it worthwhile.

Now, humanity... I have flirted with misanthropism at times. I try to my best to not be overly harsh with humanity, but I am cynical in any case. I often see the great potential in people and what the world could be like if they just tried a little harder or just used their damn head a bit more (and while they are at it, their heart too). Still, I think we are making progress, however, slow and I am glad for that. I also realise that some would definitely claim I am often being too harsh on humanity "turning a character flaw into being a murderer", but it is sometimes hard for me not to see what certain little character flaws will lead to eventually.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.


I do not wish to go into too much detail here, but people have given me a hard time for being who I am at some points in my life, I think this has influenced by view of humanity as you can see above. I responded by just continuing to do "my thing" as best as I coul.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

By nature I am a mistrusting person. My trust must be earned and even then I keep a lot to myself. If I do give someone my trust and am then betrayed it tends to trigger one of two reactions, either simple depression and self-pity (directing the hatred at myself) or misanthropism (directing the hatred at others).

When others show they trust me, I feel intensely flattered and even more motivated to not let them down.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

a)

• Thoughtful
• Understanding
• Odd
• Knowledgeable

b)

• Sometimes lacking back-bone and true conviction
• Odd (it is a boon and a bane, even to myself!)
• Lazy (or rather I have a hard time doing what outside forces want me to do)

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I would say their personal failings. Sometimes people can easily gloss over the bad in a person that otherwise seems to be an okay or fine human being.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

If a stranger insults me I am probably just puzzled and shrug it off. How could a stranger make any meaningful assessment about me? Exactly the same for compliments, really.

Only exceptions would be insults to my looks, which a stranger can of course judge properly. They make me feel inferior and I will probably try to get away.

@saibot: I have a few more questions:

1. When you experience anxiety, do you find yourself seeking knowledge, or reaching out to people for support?

2. You mention that you withdraw from people. What do you do in your time of withdrawal?

3. Can you dig a little deeper and tell me exactly why do you fear failure?

@Jawz

1. Let me say it like this: I would like people recognize when I experience a lot of anxiety and consider that and give me a few nice words, but I strongly prefer to keep things like that to myself and work through it my own way. So "seeking knowledge" definitely fits better, if that fails or is not appropriate I try to do things that distract me.

2. Usually, contemplate. Of course it depends on why I felt I had to withdraw, but I think about what went wrong (or is continuing to go wrong) and how I can avoid it or solve it in the future. To be honest, these contemplations tend to have a negative tinge, so they usually do not help me immediately, but it helps me find my center again and then I can seriously work at improving myself. However, sometimes it is as simple as taking a good nap to regain my emotional balance.

3. Not living up to my ideals or failing at something I think I should be good at: I feel like a miserable human being if I cannot live up to my self-set ideals. It also makes me feel hypocritical (side note: Hypocrisy is one of the things I dislike most). Failing at something I normally trust myself to be good at shakes my view of myself and gives me feelings of inferiority ("If I am not even good at the things I am supposed to be good at, what about all the others things?")

Conventional failure (making a significant mistake at work, bad grades at school in a class I do not care much about, for example): Well, I guess this is pretty normal. Such failure makes me feel not up to par and insufficient, if I do not have a good explanation why this happened or why it is okay. There is also the component that this can often lead to others being dissapointed, like co-workers and family. However, the "good explanation" I mentioned above tends to override the concern for the opinions of others. For example, in school I never felt bad about getting a bad grade in Math because I know I suck at it and I do not expect myself to be good there, I still felt bad for dissapointing my parents, but on a person level I did not care as much. On the other hand, if I suddenly had gotten a bad grade in English that would gnaw at me.

Hm... not entirely sure. But I'm thinking 1w9 6w5 (or 5w6) 2w1 as a tritype... the order might also be wrongish... but if the head type is your core I'm leaning 6w5.

I have no idea about your cognitive functions... But I'm still thinking...uhm... INTP/ENTP/ISTJ/INTJ... I know... very different functions...but as I said: I have no idea. Though I'd still have a hard time seeing the INFJ.

The most important thing with MBTI is the functions. INFJ's have extraverted feeling which is probably the biggest difference between them and INTJ. Like, if someone walks into a room an INFJ will immediately feel their presence and be very aware of them and an INTJ has introverted feeling so they will be more into themselves and how they feel. Also, INFJ is an introverted thinker so when they are talking they tend to pause for a bit to gather what they are going to say next. Where as an extraverted thinker will just be a free flowing of words, sometimes stumbling over words.

Originally Posted by Lemonhead

The most important thing with MBTI is the functions. INFJ's have extraverted feeling which is probably the biggest difference between them and INTJ. Like, if someone walks into a room an INFJ will immediately feel their presence and be very aware of them and an INTJ has introverted feeling so they will be more into themselves and how they feel. Also, INFJ is an introverted thinker so when they are talking they tend to pause for a bit to gather what they are going to say next. Where as an extraverted thinker will just be a free flowing of words, sometimes stumbling over words.

I am familiar with the functions. As I said, cognitive functions tests turn up as INFJ, with ENFJ and INTJ as side suggestions.

But if you know your functions then you know your type. I don't really know what a "side suggestion" is. You can only be one type. You're probably INFJ but I'm not sure about the 4.

Originally Posted by Lemonhead

But if you know your functions then you know your type. I don't really know what a "side suggestion" is. You can only be one type. You're probably INFJ but I'm not sure about the 4.

Well... you can know ALL about cognitive functions and still misunderstand them. That INTP from our INFJ meetup (sorry for mentioning that again and again...) basically knew all about it. But it turned out that he had misunderstood them afterall...and after some time of denial he finally realised that he must really be an INTP.

I don't remember what his test scores were...he might have had high Fe... but somehow the cognitive function tests don't seem to be that bad at determining an INFJ...so at the moment that's the only reason for me to think INFJ might be correct...

About the 4: definitely not.