sx/sp or sp/sx?

I'm very sure that I am one of the 2.

I love to feel connected to people and to fully experience whatever I'm doing. When I talk to someone that I can say what I truly feel and not holding back, I feel really happy. Listening to music, I love to be able to merge with the song and just see the world with the music being my life soundtrack.

I'm also concerned with security.Many times I think about how interesting it would be to have my own trailer and just go around traveling all over the states in the US. But then I think about the money that I might not be able to afford, the comfort that the trailer might lack, internet, etc. And I have always been skeptical of strangers approaching me so I usually put up my guard talking to them. Many times, I get impulses to do something but I would hold back, thinking about the possible danger associating with what I want to do. Maybe this just results from me being a 9 disintegrating into a 6.

Basically, I love to feel the rush or the intensity of things, providing it's safe for me. You would never see me doing any extreme sport, ever.

What's the big telling sign whether someone is sx or sp?

This is how I figured out which I definitely was because I had the same question as to whether I was 7 sx-sp or sp-sx and it really hit hard when reading sx-sp so that's it for me:

Read these and see which one clicks more if you haven't already:

Type Nine Variant Stackings
Enneatype Nines are out of touch with the instinctual center. Because Nines are of touch with their instinctual energy they have a very conflicted relationship to the expression of the various instincts.

Self-pres/Sexual

This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.


Sexual/Self-pres

The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion - they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.

Thanks. I read these descriptions. Sometimes, I relate to sx/sp description more. Other times, the other one.
Yesterday, it was sx/sp. Today, it's sp/sx.

I wonder if sx would be more willing to take risk to get that peak experience than sp?

I would be willing to bet yes but that's my uneducated guess since I am undoubtedly sx-sp over sp-sx. I relate to a lot of the descriptions but the one 7 sx-sp had a rather visceral feel when I read it.

Try asking yourself what you find to be the most important of :

(searching, romance, chemistry, spark, juice, intensity, interesting stuff),
(safety, home, security, comfort, resources, time, savings) and
(groups, common grounds, common interests, activities, belonging, hierarchy)

Ponder the order you would go about to get them and maybe that could help you.
I also relate to both the descriptions, reading the general descriptions of sx/sp and sp/sx made it a little bit easier because I immediately knew I was on the right track with "the wanderer"- always searching and quite litterally wandering. What really drives you - what is it that you want and focus on?

I relate more to sp/sx description of 9 as of now. Reading the general description though, sx/sp seems more like it.

I am aware of the boundaries between me and people, and usually have some kind of disdain to people acting needy in a relationship, but maybe that's because I've never been in one.

And well, as a 9, the thought of having a peaceful and contented life have always guided my action. Many times, I think about traveling around the world to many interesting places and then settle down to a house in Canada somewhere. The country seems like a peaceful country that I would like to live in.

So I guess I want to go many interesting places with someone close to me, with the thought of having a stable home and life in the end. I'm not sure if that helps.

The core of Sx/sp is searching, thirsting, longing. Sx trumps sp - you'd risk your home and security to "drink" cause you have to still your thirst. Think of Sx/sp as vampiric romance. Sx always want more to drink- love substitutes essence. Sp second means that often enough Sx is dampened for Sp, and I think sp (safety, food, drinks) often substitutes love.

The core of Sp/sx is nesting. They are attuned to their home and surroundings. Sp firsts are very aware of the body - what it needs, if their feet are cold etc. Instead of longing for something and trying to drink it Sp/sx builds from scratch. Their secondary sx instinct is focused upon stuff in their home, giving their stuff an almost magical, glowing light. (In mind, at least.)

Originally Posted by Tucken

The core of Sx/sp is searching, thirsting, longing. Sx trumps sp - you'd risk your home and security to "drink" cause you have to still your thirst. Think of Sx/sp as vampiric romance. Sx always want more to drink- love substitutes essence. Sp second means that often enough Sx is dampened for Sp, and I think sp (safety, food, drinks) often substitutes love.

The core of Sp/sx is nesting. They are attuned to their home and surroundings. Sp firsts are very aware of the body - what it needs, if their feet are cold etc. Instead of longing for something and trying to drink it Sp/sx builds from scratch. Their secondary sx instinct is focused upon stuff in their home, giving their stuff an almost magical, glowing light. (In mind, at least.)

I am with Tucken. Sx is more of an open book and hungers for love, companionship, or desire.

So would sx first be more out there and less private to new people than sp first? Since sx/sp people are longing for that kind of connection, I guess it would be more likely for them to actively seek it out. And sp/sx would more likely to sit back and see how thing goes.

And I don't really understand how merging with people works. I merge with music and nature by dancing and taking pictures, but I don't think I have ever merged with another person. I'd like to have an interesting conversation with people and it can really brighten my day after having one. But I don't think I've ever experienced the feeling of being "one" with another person. Unless merging includes understanding and knowing more about each other, then I often welcome that.

I'm not sure if I hunger for love. I would like to experience it but I see it more something like if it happens, it happens, if doesn't, it's not meant to be. However, I do desire to be worldly and to live an interesting life, experiencing many things in the world. I guess in this way, I'm more sx, I'm not sure. I wonder if sp/sx would much prefer to stay at home pursuing their own interests than to go around exploring.

So would sx first be more out there and less private to new people than sp first? Since sx/sp people are longing for that kind of connection, I guess it would be more likely for them to actively seek it out. And sp/sx would more likely to sit back and see how thing goes.

That is not a good way to differentiate between the two, imho. Especially with 9s because 9s are essentially not doing anything actively... The dominant instinct suffers the most from the 9ish sloth. You are right that Sx's long much more, but connection isn't the right word - love, something, ANYthing.

And I don't really understand how merging with people works. I merge with music and nature by dancing and taking pictures, but I don't think I have ever merged with another person. I'd like to have an interesting conversation with people and it can really brighten my day after having one. But I don't think I've ever experienced the feeling of being "one" with another person. Unless merging includes understanding and knowing more about each other, then I often welcome that.

Hehe, I'm not sure that merging with people actually WORKS, but sx tries anyways . Merging is the feeling you get when you hug someone and you take a deep sniff and smell their hair and the scent makes you feel good and you can't help but feel that you want to fuse with this goodness...to make it a part of you.

I'm not sure if I hunger for love. I would like to experience it but I see it more something like if it happens, it happens, if doesn't, it's not meant to be. However, I do desire to be worldly and to live an interesting life, experiencing many things in the world. I guess in this way, I'm more sx, I'm not sure. I wonder if sp/sx would much prefer to stay at home pursuing their own interests than to go around exploring.

Again this isn't a very good way to separate the two. Going out to live and experience something could be sx and staying home could be sp, but it could also be something else.

The important thing is what drives you in the moment, all the time. If you're always looking for something interesting to indulge in that points to SX. If you are always looking for things that sustain you and keep you good and safe that points to SP. If you are always looking to be part of a group and build on your network that points to SO.

Seen these? Type 9: Instincts