I keep testing either 4 or 9 -- which am I?

I keep testing either 4 or 9 -- which am I?

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25
Thank Tree17Thanks

This is a discussion on I keep testing either 4 or 9 -- which am I? within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; So I'm making an attempt (again) to understand enneagram and to figure out where I fit in this system. I ...

  1. #1

    I keep testing either 4 or 9 -- which am I?

    So I'm making an attempt (again) to understand enneagram and to figure out where I fit in this system. I tried a few years back when I was really into MBTI (I'm an INFJ in that system) but the system never really stuck with me. Back then I kind of assumed that I was a 9, since most of the times my tests weren't consistent. I guess I just kind of figured I had no type. Now, a few years later I find myself trying to understand this again (got a bit inspired through my current grad school program to try it) though also frustrated yet again (MBTI has made so much more sense to me... why am I having such trouble with this system?!).

    To give a bit of an idea, here's what some of my scores have been:
    - With a basic online tests I've gotten a 5 as the highest, one point lower a 4, and then one other point lower a 9.
    - When I took a tritype test I got 479.
    - When I took a test to figure your variant instinct and wing I tested 9w1 with the sexual variant (which can apparently appear like a 4 in some contexts, maybe?)

    I had met up with a friend to discuss it last week and I resonated with a lot of things talked about in the 9. Though she seems to kind of think I'm more of a 4 (based upon body type and maybe some other things). So I could just be a 4 with boundary (co-dependency) issues... or simply just at a point of identity crisis. lol

    To give some more insight here's my answers the the questions posted:

    Main Questions

    1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

    My inner inspirations... taking some time to connect to them. I feel like I can most easily reach that high through music... either by listening or dance. Used to play, but not so prevalent now. Paying close attention to things in nature as well (smells, sounds). Writing... some form of expression though it's not shared very often, but rather something I just do for my own nurturing.


    2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

    I want to help the world by making us closer to a more sustainable way of being. To help stop violence and wars... the things of destruction that only cause and recycle pain and suffering by both working direction with individuals and in the broader scheme of things (such as starvation).

    3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

    Harmony and acceptance is important. I often hope to avoid conflict.


    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

    At this point, messing up and being a contradiction to my own goals. That's more of a recent fear that's only emerged in the last few years. Previously (like in the last 20+ years of my life), it would've been abandonment. (I think that's where I'm having the most trouble with this system... cause I'm not at all consistent now with where I was like just 5 years ago).

    5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

    Accepting and a good listener. Honestly, at this point I have no idea how I see myself because I've dealt with so many changes in cultures that anything that was has been completely uprooted (from living overseas, traveling quite a bit, living in a completely new location again). So, I guess I'm in a bit of an identity crisis, yet not really looking at it as a bad thing but rather a good way to explore what is truly there rather than what societies and cultures want you to have.

    6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

    What has made me feel the best is overcoming a challenging situation with a person. Like, if someone is in a lot of emotional pain and using many defense mechanisms to protect themselves and that moment when I've just somehow intuitively knew exactly what to say in that moment to cause a small (or big) shift in perception. Egoically, I feel worse when experiencing intense rejection.

    7. Describe how you experience each of:
    a) anger;
    I hardly ever get mad... or at least express it. Nobody ever really knows when I'm mad. I think I've only actually "blown up" on someone like 4-5 times in my life. I've tried to mention things long before it gets to that or simply just go about it in a side step way (in my childhood, more passive aggressive). I've been working on setting boundaries though so actually about 2 of those times have occurred as a result of trying that in the last couple years.

    b) shame;
    Like I want to curl up in a ball and wither away?

    c) anxiety.
    Increased heart rate... it's pretty intense and I guess I've always had the impression that perhaps mine is somehow stronger than others cause rarely have I seen other people have as intense bodily reactions as I have.

    ** All of the above are pretty intense bodily reactions. I used to exercise a lot in certain period of my life in order to help release it so I wasn't holding onto it so much.

    8. Describe how you respond to each of:
    a) stress;
    Isn't this kind of the same as anger, shame, and anxiety? I don't get "stressed" about little things nearly as often as most people, it seems. (though I'm seeing that as more of an INFJ thing versus a SJ thing).

    b) unexpected change;
    I get frustrated... especially at the last minute being told things. If it's excessive I'm not too happy. While only living in the US, I used to say I was pretty flexible and could mostly tolerate it despite a little stress and inconvenience, though after living in East Asia where that was a daily occurrence (seriously) I shifted to being 1. Even more flexible, yet 2. Less tolerant in those atmospheres.

    c) conflict.
    Habitually, trying to avoid at all costs... especially cause I REALLY struggle at being assertive and I don't want to feel like I'm being walked on and I don't want to get into this place of not really knowing how to stand up for myself, which I think has been prevalent all throughout my life. It's certainly something I've been working on in the last few years though.

    9. Describe your orientation to:
    a) authority;
    Growing up and into early adulthood I never broke the rules. Never had a detention in school (when I was teaching I had no idea how they were handled cause I never actually went through it myself) and I hardly ever got in trouble. If I did I felt such intense guilt that I just never even thought of doing anything like that again. Now, it's a bit more of a balanced approach. I'll question the authority yet also strongly feel its necessarily to act respectively.

    b) power. How do you respond to these?
    I feel like these two go hand in hand, but to add on to my thought I currently don't like the feeling of being suffocated by "power" or "authority". If I feel like its not an ethical approach I'll work my way around it... in a non-conflicting way of course.

    10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
    That's very general... and I don't even know how to begin responding to it right now.

    Optional Questions

    11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

    Not sure on that right now, so I'll pass this one up.

    12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

    I don't really recall having very many trust issues. If I'm hesitant, it's not so much rooted in a lack of trust but rather a fear of conflict and rejection. Generally, I trust that people are good... like I'm never concerned about having something stolen or that I won't really be taken care of and given justice if something is stolen.

    13. List some of the traits you:
    a) like;
    Patient, a good listener, intuitive, generally calm, always open to learning, love exploring.


    b) dislike most about yourself.
    The mental traps I give myself in moving forward... mostly a lack of assertiveness and being so negatively affected by other people's hatred and negativity.


    14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

    How they feel... effortless empathy. Especially with kids and adolescents.


    15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

    If a stranger insults me I feel a pretty intense pain, hurt, and anger. Almost want to defend, but I don't want to cause a scene or add more fuel to the fire by falling to their level. It's easier to let go compared to someone I know. Like a stranger insult I might struggle with it for a day or a few hours (depending on severity), though someone I know may take months or more.
    If a stranger compliments I'll take it and feel a bit good... just not nearly as powerful of an "up" as an insult is "down".

    16. What's something you are:
    a) thankful you have;
    To be living where I am currently living. And my boyfriend, which is the easiest relationship I've ever had. :-)

    b) wish you could have? Why?

    A stronger sense of power within myself to simply be me so I can do more.



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by lotus2blossom View Post
    Harmony and acceptance is important. I often hope to avoid conflict. ....If I feel like its not an ethical approach I'll work my way around it... in a non-conflicting way of course.
    You repeatedly emphasis this. My best guess is 9w1.

    in case you haven't read: TypeWatch and Timeless have good descriptions.


    @Doll Again, only if you're not busy, is there anything I've missed by a mile?
    thegirlcandance and Doll thanked this post.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Choice View Post
    You repeatedly emphasis this. My best guess is 9w1.

    in case you haven't read: TypeWatch and Timeless have good descriptions.


    @Doll Again, only if you're not busy, is there anything I've missed by a mile?
    I definitely agree about the 9w1.

    OP, like you, whenever I take tests I score highest on 5, then 4, then 9. Most introverts do (although I'm not an introvert, but I'm very internal and hover on the border between an introvert and extrovert). Enneagram tests are difficult because the enneagram is a more complex system. You have to reply on patterns of behavior to really figure out your type.

    These points really point me toward 9w1:

    I want to help the world by making us closer to a more sustainable way of being. To help stop violence and wars

    Harmony and acceptance is important. I often hope to avoid conflict.

    Accepting and a good listener.

    I hardly ever get mad... or at least express it. Nobody ever really knows when I'm mad.

    c) conflict.
    Habitually, trying to avoid at all costs... especially cause I REALLY struggle at being assertive and I don't want to feel like I'm being walked on and I don't want to get into this place of not really knowing how to stand up for myself, which I think has been prevalent all throughout my life. It's certainly something I've been working on in the last few years though.

    If I'm hesitant, it's not so much rooted in a lack of trust but rather a fear of conflict and rejection. Generally, I trust that people are good... like I'm never concerned about having something stolen or that I won't really be taken care of and given justice if something is stolen.

    mostly a lack of assertiveness and being so negatively affected by other people's hatred and negativity.

    A stronger sense of power within myself to simply be me so I can do more.
    4s and 9s can "look" alike because they are both withdrawn types. However, there are very large differences - mainly in the way they handle emotions. 9s, like 2s, look outward, aware of others' feelings as well as the mood in the room and focus on de-escalating conflict. 9s and 2s are not reactive types. They move away from conflict, not toward it.

    4s don't necessarily move toward conflict, but they don't avoid it. In fact, sometimes they can get a high off the drama. I know that the second I feel like there's a conflict in the air, I will push and push and push (in subtle ways) until I get a reaction. 4w5s would be less intense in that way, but the way they withdraw is to put up a wall between themselves and others and hide entirely within themselves. They aren't conflict-avoidant, but... interactive-avoidant... if that makes sense. For example... my dad is a five. My conversations with him (in an extremely exaggerated version of course) tend to go as follows:

    Me: THIS IS A BIG DEAL.
    Him: I don't feel like dealing with this rn. *puts headphones on*
    Another 4: I have my own problems, but... *pats*
    2: Omg I'm so sorry!! *HUGS*
    9: What happened? Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine.

    There's a selfishness to 4s and 5s when it comes to their own feelings and needs, in other words, that isn't present in 9s and 2s - at least not to the same degree or in the same way.

    The fact that you're able to appear calm and collected on the outside is also much more indicative of a 9. 4s aren't able to hide their emotions, ever, and can sometimes be crippled by them. That's why they're one of the most self-absorbed types. They are so caught up in their own moods and feelings that they don't see how their actions and moods affect others. Your survey shows that you are an extremely empathetic person. I'm not saying that 4s can't be empathetic, but the theme is so strong in your answers that it points me away from that as your core type. I don't even know that I'd say you're a 4-fixed 9... I'm almost inclined to say that 2 is your heart fix, rather than 4.

    However, I think you're an sexual 9. sx-first 9s appear more like 4s than most 9s - they also aren't as common, and I think that's where your fear of rejection might come from. I would look into 9 sx/so or 9 sx/sp (instinctual stackings).

    As far as your tritype, I'd take a stab at 9w1 - 2 or 4 - 7w6.
    thegirlcandance and Choice thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Doll View Post
    I definitely agree about the 9w1.

    OP, like you, whenever I take tests I score highest on 5, then 4, then 9. Most introverts do (although I'm not an introvert, but I'm very internal and hover on the border between an introvert and extrovert). Enneagram tests are difficult because the enneagram is a more complex system. You have to reply on patterns of behavior to really figure out your type.

    These points really point me toward 9w1:



    4s and 9s can "look" alike because they are both withdrawn types. However, there are very large differences - mainly in the way they handle emotions. 9s, like 2s, look outward, aware of others' feelings as well as the mood in the room and focus on de-escalating conflict. 9s and 2s are not reactive types. They move away from conflict, not toward it.

    4s don't necessarily move toward conflict, but they don't avoid it. In fact, sometimes they can get a high off the drama. I know that the second I feel like there's a conflict in the air, I will push and push and push (in subtle ways) until I get a reaction. 4w5s would be less intense in that way, but the way they withdraw is to put up a wall between themselves and others and hide entirely within themselves. They aren't conflict-avoidant, but... interactive-avoidant... if that makes sense. For example... my dad is a five. My conversations with him (in an extremely exaggerated version of course) tend to go as follows:

    Me: THIS IS A BIG DEAL.
    Him: I don't feel like dealing with this rn. *puts headphones on*
    Another 4: I have my own problems, but... *pats*
    2: Omg I'm so sorry!! *HUGS*
    9: What happened? Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine.

    There's a selfishness to 4s and 5s when it comes to their own feelings and needs, in other words, that isn't present in 9s and 2s - at least not to the same degree or in the same way.

    The fact that you're able to appear calm and collected on the outside is also much more indicative of a 9. 4s aren't able to hide their emotions, ever, and can sometimes be crippled by them. That's why they're one of the most self-absorbed types. They are so caught up in their own moods and feelings that they don't see how their actions and moods affect others. Your survey shows that you are an extremely empathetic person. I'm not saying that 4s can't be empathetic, but the theme is so strong in your answers that it points me away from that as your core type. I don't even know that I'd say you're a 4-fixed 9... I'm almost inclined to say that 2 is your heart fix, rather than 4.

    However, I think you're an sexual 9. sx-first 9s appear more like 4s than most 9s - they also aren't as common, and I think that's where your fear of rejection might come from. I would look into 9 sx/so or 9 sx/sp (instinctual stackings).

    As far as your tritype, I'd take a stab at 9w1 - 2 or 4 - 7w6.
    Hey! This is lotus2blossom here... I just created that username cause I wasn't sure if I could get my old one back, so pardon the confusion. :-)

    Anyway, thanks for that detailed of a look at my responses. It's been hard to really pinpoint cause I noticed the tests results really varies on my mood. The first time I took it I was in a really introverted and studying mode and had 5 as the dominant and I was immediately "oh heck no". lol

    This has been a really confusing process trying to wrap my mind around and to really empathize with each type to know what's going on internally. You really helped to explain and outline how the types can then appear on the outside so I can get more of a mental image of a character.

    So, to put this into context, here's another situation... lets say "A" goes to an event to meet up with a friend. Their friend is not there, so they call them to ask where they are at. The friend then informs "A" that they are just finishing up some things now with other people they were bringing and they will be there in about an hour and a half... and didn't give any apology. "A" is quite angry that they drove all this way and now they have to wait this long.

    So, if "A" were a 4, how would they respond? Would their friend be able to notice that they are angry?
    What if "A" were a 9? Would their friend be completely oblivious to the fact that they are upset cause they show very little emotion that's noticeable to others?

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by thegirlcandance View Post
    So, if "A" were a 4, how would they respond? Would their friend be able to notice that they are angry?
    What if "A" were a 9? Would their friend be completely oblivious to the fact that they are upset cause they show very little emotion that's noticeable to others?
    This is an easy one. If A was a 4 then A would most likely become self-conscious and blame themself for their friend not showing up. "Maybe its because I'm not pretty enough, maybe its because I did this wrong, maybe she likes this other person better". Stereotypically 4s tend to take things personally.

    9 on other hand wouldn't care. They would just shrug. So she's late, she must be busy with something. 9 would wait until however long. Sorry to keep your waiting. 9: shrug No big deal.
    thegirlcandance thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wanderering ______ View Post
    This is an easy one. If A was a 4 then A would most likely become self-conscious and blame themself for their friend not showing up. "Maybe its because I'm not pretty enough, maybe its because I did this wrong, maybe she likes this other person better". Stereotypically 4s tend to take things personally.

    9 on other hand wouldn't care. They would just shrug. So she's late, she must be busy with something. 9 would wait until however long. Sorry to keep your waiting. 9: shrug No big deal.
    I disagree on how the 9 would respond.
    I think the 9 would inwardly be disappointed, but they would try to make it not be a big deal.
    They also might worry about why the friend did not come, but they would be less likely to blame themselves compared to a 4.

    Here's a scenario I was in, I told a friend I would meet her at 6 to watch a movie, it was after 7 by the time she got there. I had gotten really upset waiting for her for so long, but when she got there I acted like she had only shown up 5 minutes late and was like "I hope you didn't mind I went ahead and bought dinner without you" as if I should somehow be the one apologising.

    EDIT: I'm a 9w1, by the way.
    thegirlcandance thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Dewymorning View Post
    Here's a scenario I was in, I told a friend I would meet her at 6 to watch a movie, it was after 7 by the time she got there. I had gotten really upset waiting for her for so long, but when she got there I acted like she had only shown up 5 minutes late and was like "I hope you didn't mind I went ahead and bought dinner without you" as if I should somehow be the one apologising.
    See exactly. You demonstrated enneagram 9 conflict avoidance by showing your friend you were at fault for something and by acting like it was no big deal when she showed up late.

    You proved my point. Case closed
    thegirlcandance thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wanderering ______ View Post
    This is an easy one. If A was a 4 then A would most likely become self-conscious and blame themself for their friend not showing up. "Maybe its because I'm not pretty enough, maybe its because I did this wrong, maybe she likes this other person better". Stereotypically 4s tend to take things personally.

    9 on other hand wouldn't care. They would just shrug. So she's late, she must be busy with something. 9 would wait until however long. Sorry to keep your waiting. 9: shrug No big deal.
    Hmm... see, in that situation I would habitually relate more to the 4. I've had one hell of a fear of rejection that I've had to learn how to work through over the years. Though what I've learned to tell myself and how to act as a response to that is more 9... not quite sure how good of a method that is though for a long period of time. So like, in certain cases I have voiced my feelings to some friends where I felt they weren't as invested as me or that things weren't quite balanced... like, for instance, I agree and quickly accommodate to their plans, get togethers, drive every time, etc. but they won't accommodate to mine or do things to meet halfway. Usually before any conflict arises from repressed emotions I've tried to mention it and try to do it in a way to keep the peace at the same time... whether that necessarily works or not depending on the person is a different story (depends upon how sensitive they are to criticism).

    Then when it's on the flip side and say I'm with a 2 type (or at least I believe this would be representative of a 2) who insists upon doing everything, then I naturally go with whatever they want. Maybe sometimes I'd offer but they'd insist to not, so I'd let it go. I would then be completely oblivious when they'd have a blow up over how they do everything.

  9. #9

    @thegirlcandance

    Its possible that you are a 4 with a 9 fix or vice versa.

    " So like, in certain cases I have voiced my feelings to some friends where I felt they weren't as invested as me or that things weren't quite balanced... like, for instance, I agree and quickly accommodate to their plans, get togethers, drive every time, etc. but they won't accommodate to mine or do things to meet halfway. Usually before any conflict arises from repressed emotions I've tried to mention it and try to do it in a way to keep the peace at the same time... whether that necessarily works or not depending on the person is a different story (depends upon how sensitive they are to criticism)".

    From this excerpt you sound like a very sensitive 9. So I'm going to say 9 with a 4 fix.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wanderering ______ View Post
    @thegirlcandance

    Its possible that you are a 4 with a 9 fix or vice versa.

    " So like, in certain cases I have voiced my feelings to some friends where I felt they weren't as invested as me or that things weren't quite balanced... like, for instance, I agree and quickly accommodate to their plans, get togethers, drive every time, etc. but they won't accommodate to mine or do things to meet halfway. Usually before any conflict arises from repressed emotions I've tried to mention it and try to do it in a way to keep the peace at the same time... whether that necessarily works or not depending on the person is a different story (depends upon how sensitive they are to criticism)".

    From this excerpt you sound like a very sensitive 9. So I'm going to say 9 with a 4 fix.
    Does that even fully represent enneagram traits though? Like, generally speaking of psychological and personal growth development it appears to me that doing that is learning how to set proper boundaries with others to avoid co-dependency.

    I guess I'm just trying to fully wrap my mind around are "These are signs of an the ego-driven enneagram personality type" versus "These are signs of ego development". It can be a tricky and a very fine line when trying to figure out your type, which is why I've been attempting to look more at the inner drives between the two types to see which I empathize with more. But, even in the grand scheme of things each type can look differently at their different stages of development.


 
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. testing 123
    By biscuit20 in forum Member Polls
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-13-2011, 04:15 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:29 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
2014 PersonalityCafe