Type Skream (Again.) Quite important to me.

Here, I am going to fill the questionnaire again with a relatively clearer mind. I'll try to be precise and to-the-point, and as less vague as possible.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

Hmm, this question has always been difficult to answer because I am taking life as it comes. I want to understand myself better and have a sense of direction as to where I am heading. I want to know how everything turns out, and how 'mysteries' unfold. Money isn't everything but I want to be comfortable. I want to live up to my potential. I think, my goal is to have a definite goal, and when I find that goal, I want to achieve it.
I look for peace. I look for a balance in everything. I want to be unbiased. I want to learn. I want to be complacent. I want to love and be loved.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I don’t want to harbor any regrets as to what I have done. I don’t want ‘bad karma’ in any aspect of my life. I want a career in something that interests me because I cannot pretend to like something. I don’t like pretence. I want to be able to bring a balance between hard work and being naturally good at the given task, because hard work doesn’t come to me naturally. Hard work, I believe is important. I want something that would inspire me to work hard: something that will distract me from my distractions.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I hope to avoid not living up to my potential or wasting it. I want to understand situations completely and do things differently, more efficiently. I don’t want to be a sheep. I don’t want to be a sell-out. I want to be able to stand out from the rest but not too much. I always have stood out in school and college but mostly for all the wrong reasons.

I don’t believe I have set values but I have recently started to believe that wisdom is more important than knowledge. I think finding a balance between being authentic and altruistic is important. I want to stay true to myself but not alienate myself from the rest of the population in the process. I want to care for those who care for me, and care for those who need it.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

Fear of not meeting expectations. I have high expectations of myself but I always try to keep them as low as possible so as to avoid disappointments. Others have high expectations of me and I hate not being able to do what I am capable of.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want others to see me for what I am. Therefore, I want to be happy and at peace. I want to be cool-headed and warm-hearted. I don’t want to put up a façade for anything. I don’t want to try too hard. I see myself as living-without-meaning. I still have internal conflicts. I find myself a little boring, but others don’t think so. I think I am creative and novel. I usually see things that others don’t. I understand people and their emotions a little better than most people.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

When people show a genuine interest in me, when things work out the way I want them to, when I get noticed, when I do better than expected, when I do something that others can’t, I do the same things as others with a different approach.

When my mind is flooded with negative thoughts and when nothing seems to get better, when I fail at something, when I don’t live up to expectations.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

Anger: I don’t get angry easily. I get angry only when I get frustrated or when there is a lot of pent-up emotions. I usually just isolate myself and cool down. I forgive easily.

Shame: I think and over-think the situation. But again, I let it go easily.

Anxiety: I look quite calm on the surface but I am probably going crazy in my mind. Everyone is surprised by how calm I am in most strenuous situations.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

Stress: I rant a lot, and then I hate myself for ranting so much. I blame myself for not preparing myself for said situation.

Unexpected change: I am quite adaptable in most situations. I might be a little annoyed if it doesn’t go my way.

Conflict: Avoid if possible or just go with it. No point in dragging things for longer than need.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

Authority: If you’re doing okay, I am okay with you. Just do what you’re supposed to do. I like freedom but rules are necessary for a lot of people.

Power: Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Everyone is multi-dimensional. Everyone is a shade of grey. Some people want the world to burn, some want to see it grow. Some don’t care, some care way too much.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Nothing of much significance has happened but I tend to take both negative and positive points off everything that has happened so far. Always learning, and growing even being a little self-destructive in the process.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I trust things that make sense to me and are worth trusting. I don’t always go with my gut feelings for I feel the need to confirm them. The amount I trust someone often depends on my first impression of them which is open to change. I believe in second chances, for I have been given chances.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

Like: I like that I am warm-hearted, perceptive, logical, have a refined taste in people, music, literature, movies, etc. (I didn’t make that up myself, okay? It would be a crazy thing to say that your own taste is ‘refined’.) I am usually able to give well thought-out advice to people who ask me for advice. I can make people I care about feel better about themselves.

Dislike: I am indecisive, I procrastinate, I am a perfectionist (and lazy so they don't go well together), I get stuck in negative thoughts way too often, I feel unattractive sometimes.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I can usually see through what people say and do. I don’t know why but I feel like I have a higher emotional intelligence than most people but I sucked at the test I just took where I was supposed to judge people’s expressions.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they complement you?

I might just ignore them because it doesn't really affect me or insult them back. If they complimented me, I’d feel good. I blush easily (wtf), but I’ll still be a sceptical bastard.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

Hmm. I am thankful for everything I have. Good and bad. I wish I had willpower, determination and drive.
@Paradigm, @Boss, @Spades, @Dark Romantic, @aconite

In your answers I can see mostly 6 (not sure of the wing) and 9w1. Since the two are connected, it's a bit hard to tell... 9 disintegrates to 6. You do have a lot 6-ish qualities, but I they could manifest in an unhealthy Nine as well. Would you say you're unhealthy?

Originally Posted by aconite

In your answers I can see mostly 6 (not sure of the wing) and 9w1. Since the two are connected, it's a bit hard to tell... 9 disintegrates to 6. You do have a lot 6-ish qualities, but I they could manifest in an unhealthy Nine as well. Would you say you're unhealthy?

I'd say I am unhealthy. How do I differentiate between an 'unhealthy 9' and a '6'?

Originally Posted by PlushWitch

I guess the poll I made was kinda a trigger for you to make this thread.

Nobody is saying that all people with anxiety disorders are 6s nor are all 6s diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. And nobody says all people are 6s until proven otherwise. (In the 4 forum, there are also 3s and 9s and sometimes an 8...and a 7...and what not...and of course: there are also about 3/4 of 4s. )

But if there's a 6w7 who insists they're a 4 but all their motivations they talk about are so 6w7ish that it hurts, being able to relate to E4 descriptions doesn't make them/us 4s. Especially 6w7s usually don't relate to 6 and they don't want to be 6s because it makes them feel misunderstood. And then they run from 6 and try to research and research for other possible types they might be...which also makes them think they might be 5s. And they get always back to 4...and insist on having 4 in their tritype (for some it's true, of course) even if they have a 2 or 3 fix. Many 6w7s even don't feel consciously anxious. They just question things.

It's just the way it is and even if it can sometimes sound unfair...6w7s are not 4s - even though a 6w7 can look quite like a 4w3 from the outside. But they don't look like a 4w3 if you look at their motivations.

^ This. .___.

Originally Posted by Skream

I'd say I am unhealthy. How do I differentiate between an 'unhealthy 9' and a '6'?

hmm...I think a doubting 6w7 is more pannicky and/or pushy - and possibly angry - while a doubting 9w1 mostly comes across as bitter and unbelieving...or something... hm... at least that's my experience from my husband and me. My hubby is an ISFJ which might also explain part of it... not sure if that's purely 6w7 vs. 9w1.

Okay. The difference between an unhealthy 9 and a 6 is motivation - a Nine, even when exhibiting unhealthy 6-ish tendencies, will still strive for peace and harmony. My impression is that you're a 9w1, but I'm not really certain. Maybe other people will be more heplful than I ;)

Why do you want peace and balance? Do you need it because it offers you security and stability, or because you want to be free from anger and conflict? How well can you relate to other people? Would you say you have always been suspicious, even as a kid?

Originally Posted by PlushWitch

hmm...I think a doubting 6w7 is more pannicky and/or pushy - and possibly angry - while a doubting 9w1 mostly comes across as bitter and unbelieving...or something... hm... at least that's my experience from my husband and me. My hubby is an ISFJ which might also explain part of it... not sure if that's purely 6w7 vs. 9w1.

Yeah, I don't panic or act pushy at all. I hate being that. In fact people say that I should panic a little more in a healthy way.

Originally Posted by emerald sea

like Riso says,

Confusion arises between these two types principally on the part of Sixes who think they are Fours for two main reasons. First, some Sixes identify with the negative side of the Four (depression, inferiority, self-doubt, and hopelessness, for example) and think they must be Fours because they recognize similar traits in themselves.The difference lies in the motivation for these traits. For example, while all the types can become depressed, Fours do so because they are disappointed with themselves for having lost some opportunity to actualize themselves. They become depressed when they realize that in their search for self, they have gone down a blind alley and now must pay the price. Unhealthy, depressed Fours are essentially angry at themselves for bringing this on themselves or for allowing it to happen.

In contrast, Sixes become depressed when they fear that they have done something to make their allies or authority figures angry with them. Their depression is a response to their self-disparagement; it comes from the fear that the authority is angry at them and will punish them. Thus, the depression of Sixes is based on repressed anxiety. This is not the case with Fours, whose depression is based on repressed feelings of hatredtoward the self and others.

(quoted from Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, p.225)

Going by this description on basic fears, I definitely agree with Four.

Originally Posted by aconite

Okay. The difference between an unhealthy 9 and a 6 is motivation - a Nine, even when exhibiting unhealthy 6-ish tendencies, will still strive for peace and harmony. My impression is that you're a 9w1, but I'm not really certain. Maybe other people will be more heplful than I ;)

Why do you want peace and balance? Do you need it because it offers you security and stability, or because you want to be free from anger and conflict? How well can you relate to other people? Would you say you have always been suspicious, even as a kid?

I have always been typed as 9w1. Definitely because I like stability. I like balance because it offers viewing things from different angles without being biased. I want peace because it's just... peaceful. When there's an argument, I want it to be a discussion of sort. Conflicts get me irritated, and when I get irritated beyond a point, it makes me lose my cool.

I was never the suspicious kind but I definitely favor rationality/logic/evidence.

Do you guys have sources as to where I can find my type better other than stereotypes and general descriptions? For example @PlushWitch, @emerald sea's info on basic fear and motivation, etc.?

I think it would be better if I did a little research myself rather than 'bothering' you good people. I know Typing other people can be exhausting!
@Boss

I have shared the ocean moonshine and TW link on your other thread. Other than that, get the book. Hold on until you can read Naranjo.

I'll get back to you after you've read it. Until then, I don't have much to say that I haven't already. And yes, you really need to do significant self-study. I might keep an eye on your thread, though.

All the best.

@Skream - i'd recommend just about anything written by Don Richard Riso or Helen Palmer. :)