[Confounded]

Do any other nines feel really irritated when their peers are negative?
Sometimes I feel like I'm having a wonderful time, and then someone comes up and starts complaining, and it ruins my entire day.



It's not that all negative emotions irritate me... it's just that negative emotions without meaning irritate me. When people complain for the mere sake of complaining, it drives me absolutely crazy.
Anyone relate?

[Thinkist]

I know I'm an ISTP who's not too sensitive to emotion, but I'm definitely hypersensitive to even the tiniest bit of negativity (and more recently, traditionalism and conformity). Usually this is noted via some of the most subtle nonverbal clues. I tend to like or dislike someone to a degree based on those clues.

As far as the purely verbal stuff, I'm starting (and doing well at) getting over it.

[Napoleptic]

Do any other nines feel really irritated when their peers are negative?
Sometimes I feel like I'm having a wonderful time, and then someone comes up and starts complaining, and it ruins my entire day.

It's not that all negative emotions irritate me... it's just that negative emotions without meaning irritate me. When people complain for the mere sake of complaining, it drives me absolutely crazy.
Anyone relate?

If it's venting that's being laughed off or a silly annoyance being laughed at, I don't have a problem with it (as was recently noted, there's a lot of bonding that goes on in the What Pisses Off INTJs thread ). But when someone's being outright negative or pessimistic for no other reason than habit or because it makes them feel better or, as you said, for the sake of complaining, it does annoy me. Particularly if it's of the "everything is so wonderful, why does this have to be off and ruin everything?" type stuff - I can nitpick too, but I can simultaneously enjoy what's going well without it being ruined by one detail being off, for heaven's sake. But the worst is when someone gripes about it at length without doing anything about it, like my grandma at restaurants - send it back and shut your mouth already.

[The King Of Dreams]

Yeah, it puts me in a bad head-space. I try not to complain, especially if there's nothing I can do about it. But it's just like what the description about 9's says: "Nine's are not at peace when others are not at peace" (I'm paraphrasing) That's how I feel.

[madhatter]

I do hate a downer.

[Somniorum]

i was going to vent about how much i hate this, but i dont want to irritate anyone ; P

people have a right to be negative. that said... sure grates on my nerves sometimes. the biggest problem is if i'm working with someone who's like that. people getting like that just make *problems*.

i just want to get the bloody job done with, dont drag it out any longer than it has to with your bitching, please : /

[Thinkist]

i was going to vent about how much i hate this, but i dont want to irritate anyone ; P

people have a right to be negative. that said... sure grates on my nerves sometimes. the biggest problem is if i'm working with someone who's like that. people getting like that just make *problems*.

i just want to get the bloody job done with, dont drag it out any longer than it has to with your bitching, please : /

I'm so like this. Give it enough time and enough pushing and shoving, and I'll just give you a GTFA attitude instead of what you wanted: a job well done.

[inscribed]

I do get irritable if people go on complaining longer than I feel is necessary. I mean, if you're really feeling emotional about the thing -- vent as long as you need to. (Though perhaps not entirely to me.) But got your emotions out, and now just complaining for the sake of it? That gets on my nerves. Come to think of it, it nearly always comes with an overwhelming scent of entitlement... I suppose I feel like they are mistreating themselves somehow. Either creating a needlessly inhospitable environment for themselves, or petting their excessive self-importance instead of dealing with it.

Being around pessimism in general ticks me off slightly, because it feels somehow like a 'preventable illness' in people. I think there are people for whom it is a reasonable mindset and just part of what makes them who they are, but they're not the majority, in my experience. (They also seem to possibly broadcast it less...?)

The only thing that REALLY makes me angry (aside from when I've failed to enforce my boundaries properly, which is my own fault...) is when someone disrespects people, as individuals or a group. Or when they completely refuse to reconsider their own opinions. These two things collide into spectacular fireworks when somebody near me keeps stubbornly spouting bigoted ideas; I usually have to leave the room. To avoid breaking something. (Such as their face. Famous 9 disconnection from anger!) Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm getting lots of practice dealing with this since I live in the South.

[The King Of Dreams]

I do get irritable if people go on complaining longer than I feel is necessary. I mean, if you're really feeling emotional about the thing -- vent as long as you need to. (Though perhaps not entirely to me.) But got your emotions out, and now just complaining for the sake of it? That gets on my nerves. Come to think of it, it nearly always comes with an overwhelming scent of entitlement... I suppose I feel like they are mistreating themselves somehow. Either creating a needlessly inhospitable environment for themselves, or petting their excessive self-importance instead of dealing with it.

Being around pessimism in general ticks me off slightly, because it feels somehow like a 'preventable illness' in people. I think there are people for whom it is a reasonable mindset and just part of what makes them who they are, but they're not the majority, in my experience. (They also seem to possibly broadcast it less...?)

The only thing that REALLY makes me angry (aside from when I've failed to enforce my boundaries properly, which is my own fault...) is when someone disrespects people, as individuals or a group. Or when they completely refuse to reconsider their own opinions. These two things collide into spectacular fireworks when somebody near me keeps stubbornly spouting bigoted ideas; I usually have to leave the room. To avoid breaking something. (Such as their face. Famous 9 disconnection from anger!) Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm getting lots of practice dealing with this since I live in the South.

It's interesting that you mention that since I live in Florida.

[Napoleptic]

I have to say this goes the other direction too - people who are positive thinkers to the point that they're fooling themselves irritate me as well.

I often like to say I'm neither a pessimist nor an optimist, I'm a realist. I know I do tend to lean toward being positive, but if you've just told me something's rosy that isn't, believe me I'm quite likely to point out that thunderhead to your silver lining. You deserve to know the truth so you aren't blindsided by it and fall apart because you can't cope because you were unprepared.