[Enneagram Type 9] The stream of conscious/venting thread for nines - Page 64

The stream of conscious/venting thread for nines

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This is a discussion on The stream of conscious/venting thread for nines within the Type 9 Forum - The Peacemaker forums, part of the Body Triad - Types 8,9,1 category; I'm realizing that the past few years since, I decided to really start expressing myself were really fighting the core ...

  1. #631

    I'm realizing that the past few years since, I decided to really start expressing myself were really fighting the core belief of being unworthy/unlovable/insignificance that defines type nines. I went first to embracing success, working hard, great grades, leadership positions, the works. Seeking value through power and knowledge, this went on and culminated last year when I finally had a girlfriend for all of two weeks before moving. This last year has been the lack of the drive, all the success, and power built, was gone. I could no longer put faith in that method of satisfying that need. In the process, I started to disintegrate, seeking to grasp that core belief. I was lonely, and seeking connection, which was not good especially compounded with a sense of existential failure. I feel like I've changed for the worse. Now, I feel like I'm finally adapting back, I'm still unsatisfied with my relationships, and self. But now, I see the issue a bit more clearly. I still don't know the solution, but I can at least stop the manifestations, and try to return to a neutral point to launch another attempt, using what I've learned. I still hate that feeling of failure and still not having someone close, but I'm coming to terms that what I've thought about is a idealized version, and while it won't be what I think, it won't be as bad without. I'm stuck somewhere between giving up all together and realizing how dramatic that statement is. However, the world is beautiful and people are kind, my sojourn through this world is a task of discovery, meaning is what you make it.

  2. #632

    Quote Originally Posted by Drewbie View Post
    Edit:
    I've been talking to my zucchini about enneagram and they decided to look into it today. They're a type 6w5. I knew it, I KNEW IT. I always underestimate myself and think I don't know him as well as I do, but really, you can't be with someone for 8 years and not know how they work. I don't know why I doubted myself. Our relationship has always been the most stable thing in my life, even through our 'rough patches', them being a 6 makes perfect sense.
    Yaaaay! 6s go with 9s like peanut butter goes with jelly.
    Drewbie, The King Of Dreams and INTJellectual thanked this post.

  3. #633

    I'm so happy, my spamming has not been useless, hahaha. It's nice to see someone who derailed my thread in the Ban/Infraction.
    MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  4. #634
    Type 9w8

    I'm becoming more and more aware of the fact that I become really irritated when people can't make themselves be what a situation needs, even if the reason they can't is because of some degree of mental or physical disability. Like, if I can ignore near crippling pain and pull myself out of a panic attack or mental breakdown long enough to get things done why can't everyone else do the same and pull their weight? But that's completely unreasonable and I know that. I keep needing to stop, take deep breathes, and remember that just because repression is my superpower doesn't mean everyone else can do it also. And then pick up the slack.

  5. #635

    Man, I've been craving a physical and emotional connection for the past week. I want one now. Hey @Sonny GET OVER HERE AND CONNECT WITH ME! LOL

  6. #636

    Quote Originally Posted by The King Of Dreams View Post
    Man, I've been craving a physical and emotional connection for the past week. I want one now. Hey @Sonny GET OVER HERE AND CONNECT WITH ME! LOL
    *glomps* do I needs to do anything more?
    The King Of Dreams thanked this post.

  7. #637

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonny View Post
    *glomps* do I needs to do anything more?
    Yeah, just don't let go. LOL I need this for a while.... (I seriously want and need a connection though) Thanks for going along with it.

  8. #638

    Quote Originally Posted by The King Of Dreams View Post
    Yeah, just don't let go. LOL I need this for a while.... (I seriously want and need a connection though) Thanks for going along with it.
    *squishes*

  9. #639
    Type 9w1

    I always enjoy starting a new connection with someone, but for the first little while it leaves me wanting more. And I tell myself to grow up and to relax and that I can't expect instant, deep connection, nor that I would want that (sp kicking in).

    This is why I love books... I can get as deep into the characters lives as I want to.
    bethdeth, Napoleptic and MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  10. #640

    Wow, talking to you is awesome. I'm feeling a rush of feelings right now....


 

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