Type Nine - The Peacemaker
Nines are motivated by the need to live in harmony, to merge with others, and to avoid conflict. Of all the Enneagram types, they are the most likely to identify with several other types.
Eights, Nines, and Ones constitute the gut center and have issues that revolve around self-forgetting and anger. Nines blend in, accommodate others, and forget their own real needs. They often express their anger unconsciously.
Nines at their BEST are:
Nines at their WORST are:
- Overly accommodating
What a Nine would say about himself:
"My friends say they feel relaxed, comfortable, and peaceful around me. Making decisions is often very difficult for me as I can see all sides of an issue. I try not to place demands on others and I become stubborn when people place demands on me. Sometimes I feel more ambitious for my partner than for myself. I tend to procrastinate. I am more likely to feel depressed and lethargic than angry. People like me because I am accepting, nonjudgmental, and unpretentious. I am very attached to my habits and routines. I am easily distracted. I like to have time each day to relax and let my mind wander. I'd often rather accommodate my partner than stand up for myself or confront him or her. I don't usually want all the attention to be on me. I often distract myself from my problems instead of trying to fix them. I am thought of as a good listener, but I don't concentrate on what people say as much as they think I do. I have trouble choosing one option and letting go of all the rest. People say I am too passive and too indecisive. I often feel anxious, but others usually aren't aware of it. I like to believe that everything will work out in the long run. I am not as competitive or concerned with status and prestige as many people are. Physical comfort is very important to me."Wings
Nines with a strong Eight wing (9w8) tend to be willful, independent, lustful, steady, aggressive, competitive, and callous. They often oscillate between being confrontational and conciliatory. They usually make very effective leaders, even though they have the tendency to lose touch with themselves and puff up to feel more powerful.
Nines with a strong One wing (9w1) tend to be modest, composed, self-controlled, orderly, principled, obsessive-compulsive, and self-righteous. They are usually highly principled and hardworking.
Occasionally, people present the persona of one of their wings - rather than their actual type - to the outside world.
Things Nines Would Never Dream of Doing...
- Refusing an invitation to the hot tub or to play golf because they want to get their taxes done a month early
- Bragging for hours at their reunion about how wonderfully they are doing and not asking others how they are doing
- Making a to-do list that leaves no time for transitions or lounging, and then following it strictly
- Wearing the gaudiest and most attention-grabbing outfit they can find to meet their new partner's parents
- Screaming and insulting their partner at the welcome party they are hosting for the new neighbors
- Being ignored in a group outing and insisting on receiving all the attention for the rest of the evening
- Deciding they were a nine immediately after reading this description and not wondering if they might be a different type
How to Get Along with Nines:
- Appreciate their kindness, gentleness, and patience
- Give them compliments, hugs, and other forms of loving attention
- Appreciate what they do instead of focusing on what they didn't manage to get done
- Be patient when they take a long time to make a decision
- Be aware that some Nines take a request as an accusation that they haven't done everything they were supposed to
- Be sensitive about giving criticism or asking them to do something
- "Would you like to...?" and "Would you help me...?" will probably be well received, but they'll gnash their teeth if you say, "Do this!" or "You should do that!"
- Keep in mind Nines often feel compelled to rebel under pressure, nagging, or complaining
How to Give Nines Extra Support:
- Be a good listener. They like to bounce their ideas off someone.
- Encourage them to let their grievances out
- Reassure them that you will not disconnect from them if they say no. They will often clam up, disappear, or space out rather than risk being rejected.
- Help them keep their environment peaceful
- Encourage them to share their interests and desires with you rather than always going along with what you and others want to do
- Help them find out what they want to do or how they feel by asking clarifying questions. Offer them choices when they respond with vague answers.
- Gently encourage them to prioritize and set goals
-Excepts from "Are You My Type, Am I Yours?" by Renee Baron & Elizabeth WageleI am by no means an expert, but I do have this book and thought others might find it interesting. There is more info regarding how each type view/relate/get along with the other eight types, and I might add that too, although probably in a separate thread.