[Ryu]

I've been attracted to a few E9s, (9w1s, INFXs)....

And I generally like them and find them intriguing, mysterious, peaceful, etc.
I'm curious as to how you see 8s and 9s getting along in a relationship, experiences you've had, etc.



The only thing that really bothers me is when they disappear for days at a time and just want to avoid things or negative feelings... or need to take time to "let their emotions run out". I'm not sure if that kind of indirectness is something I can deal with in a serious relationship. I wonder if that ever changes with E9s,when you have more time /experience / security with someone, or not.

[Tuttle]

The only thing that really bothers me is when they disappear for days at a time and just want to avoid things or negative feelings... or need to take time to "let their emotions run out". I'm not sure if that kind of indirectness is something I can deal with in a serious relationship. I wonder if that ever changes with E9s,when you have more time /experience / security with someone, or not.

I'm an 9w1 and I'm able to handle the negative that I encounter much easier than I did when I was in my early 20's. It's true that I still need to "escape" from time to time, but over the years my husband has learned how to cope with that part of my personality.

[amanda32]

The only thing that really bothers me is when they disappear for days at a time and just want to avoid things or negative feelings... run oor need to take time to "let their emotions run out". I'm not sure if that kind of indirectness is something I can deal with in a serious relationship. I wonder if that ever changes with E9s,when you have more time /experience / security with someone, or not.

I don't think it'll ever change and I don't think it's being "indirect" at all. I do it because I need time to navigate through my own emotions and figure out what I feel ultimately and what to do about it because I am overwhelmed not with ONE emotion but with CONFLICTING emotional responses and I must come to a conclusion or make a decision or just calm down because my head is spinning.
It would be a VERY bad idea to invade my space at this time -- we withdraw for your protection and for the good of all relationship(s).
This kind of emotional overload is close to insanity. Leave us be and give us time to become "sane" again.