[cardinalfire]

Nines have global vision. Watch their arms as they talk, waving around in circles. They are considering all the opinions, pros and cons, perspectives, cultural differences. Nines are good listeners and are well suited to the caring professions - as a counsellor for example. Look for them in the United Nations, or negotiating peace in Iraq or in Northern Ireland putting their mediation skills and diplomacy to good use. They fare better with a structured routine and are reassured by their habits. They tend to thrive in more structured professions as bureaucrats, teaching, or in the civil service. They don't want to be identified with one stance to the exclusion of others however.

The peace loving Nine will fire off angry letters to the electricity board, take on the phone company, anything rather than shout at the person who has just ignored them. Better to keep them waiting while you float in scented bath water. In this way, the passive Nines can be experienced as controlling. Nines are generally good in groups and gain energy there, and they are also good team players. The qualitites they bring to a group are consideration, gentleness, inclusiveness and mediation. Mikhail Gorbachev is a good example of a Nine politician. Ringo Starr of the Beatles is probably a Nine, and so was the singer Luciano Pavarotti. The film maker Alfred Hitchcock was a Nine.

How Nines can nurture themselves and grow

1. Take regular exercise that gets the heartbeat going and amps energy.
2. Practice asking clearly for what you want (and don't want) from your relationships.
3. If you find yourself saying "I don't know" or "Ok whatever..." pat attention, instead tell them you will decide, however you will need time to think.
4. Listen when someone is angry with you.
5. Start a journal and begin each entry with "Today I am angry with..." and learn to acknowledge this emotion in your life.
6. Make daily realistic lists of what you want to accomplish and stick to them.
7. If you go to the fridge between meals, ask yourself if there is something you are avoding dealing with.
8. Learn to include your opinion in groups, think your thoughts through and then verbalise them, you are a valid member too.
9. If you feel yourself becoming judgemental of others ask 'What am I angry about?"
10. Enjoy relaxing times in your day, but make them part of the structure, and if needs be, give them a time limit.
11. Get your friends to come along when you take up a new hobby.
12. Become aware of being lazy or any other behaviour that is the Sloth manifest and transform this to its opposite - right action.

How you can help me If I am Nine

- Allow pauses in conversation so that I can gather my thoughts.
- Ask me what I think and feel, though give me time alone (if necessary) to reply.
- Don't blame your frustration or impatience on me,
- Do not offload on me for too long at a given time.
- Do things together.
- Forgive me for drifting off, it's nothing personal.
- Give me time to be alone at least once a day.
- If I am not doing something you want, you have to ask me in a gentle way, and do not apply some pressure on me.
- Before you criticise me, comment me on something first.

Excerpt from "Enneagram for the Spirit" by Mary Horsley.

[susurration]

"Take regular exercise that gets the heartbeat going and amps energy"

For me, that is very important. Long sessions of high intensity exercise like running, makes me angry- or rather, it brings out all the aggressive energy I have building up, that I tend to be oblivious to. And because i'm running, i'm channeling that anger and using it for something; which takes away the uncomfortableness of exploring anger when I have no idea what to do with it. I also confront issues in my mind when I run. Perhaps that is due to the mind-body connection being tapped into when the body is under pressure. I talk things through in my mind, and if I start to ruminate or thoughts become circular, then I refocus on my body and breathing.

Coupling that with yoga/pilates and stretching has also helped me immensely.

Some more things to help the nine develop and grow;

when you fall asleep to yourself, or find yourself attempting to numb yourself out with food, reading, tv, alcohol (whatever it is) have a phrase that you say to yourself. I often say 'wake up' when I notice that I am in the early stages of doing either of those things. It is a key component of cognitive behavioral therapy... observe the chain reactions that lead up to your behaviour, and learn to intervene before the behavior occurs.
Further, it is critical for the nine, to truly be awake to their self as early as possible when waking in the morning. The journal entry thing is great, I would suggest doing it asap after you wake up, before you go to bed and even throughout the day, if possible. Make it a routine to explore deep within yourself, as regularly as possible. It is really important for the nine to acknowledge and accept (instead of downplaying or denying/rejecting) their thoughts and feelings, and to own them. Free writing is the most effective way, in my experience, to achieve this.

Train your brain to associate confronting issues/reality as soon as possible, with positive feelings/reward. If you are able to be familiar with it, tap into Si. Ask yourself, 'in my past, has leaving things to the last minute helped the situation and my internal sense of equilibrium'? and answer it honestly. I have a rich bank of instances where avoiding things has made my situation and inner state worse off. I tap into those moments and remember the anxiety I felt; thus attributing negative emotions to avoidance.

Confront an issue as soon as it arrises. Firstly, accept it. Acknowledge that it is actually occurring by writing it down, talking about it, thinking about it constructively... just somehow documenting its existence.
As soon as you feel uncomfortable confronting reality, remind yourself that you always have options. Write the options down, and fashion them into a plan... "if x fails, then I will do y. If y fails, then I will do Z" and so on.
Acknowledge that confronting things can be uncomfortable. Focus on the consequences of your actions. Acknowledge that the discomfort and tension is only a temporary state. Will what you are doing help you and the situation in the long run? if it is, appreciate that it is short term pain for long term gain. Reason with yourself, and don't let yourself back out before reaping the rewards. If you commit to it, you can create new memories that emphasize the positive effects of dealing with things immediately. If you back out before positive benefits can be gleaned, then it only helps to attach more negative emotions/experiences to confronting reality. So if you have decided to confront reality, commit to it.

The feedback system becomes complicated when there are seemingly no positive benefits (say, you are admitting to your significant other that you cheated on them, or you need to fire an employee). Assure yourself, that in time, the benefits of this will become clear. But you have to do the internal work to come to such a conclusion.
It becomes complicated again, when reality is seemingly out of your control (e.g. you're about to lose your job, or a loved one has died). Acknowledge that whilst you may not be able to change anything, you are in control of how you perceive the event. Accept the reality of it; for as soon as you deny the existence of something, you negate the opportunity to work through it. Be realistic and pragmatic about the things you actually can do. Seek as much advice and information as you can to work through it. When you feel anxiety building up and you want to escape, focus on your breathing. Your internal state of harmony, is something only you can control. You can deal with the reality of issues and not jeopardize that inner harmony. As long as you focus on yourself and how you perceive things to be.

[Brie]

If you go to the fridge between meals, ask yourself if there is something you are avoiding dealing with.

Weird, but I do this all the time. Often when I'm not hungry, I go open the fridge and look in it, not really sure what I'm looking for. It often doesn't lead to me eating anything either.

But I never thought of it that way before. What am I avoiding? The list is too long.

[cardinalfire]

I wonder how many ISFPs are this type.

[Liontiger]

Start a journal and begin each entry with "Today I am angry with..." and learn to acknowledge this emotion in your life.

I think I might try this...

[kateykinz]

Weird, but I do this all the time. Often when I'm not hungry, I go open the fridge and look in it, not really sure what I'm looking for. It often doesn't lead to me eating anything either.

But I never thought of it that way before. What am I avoiding? The list is too long.

Yeah I do that, mostly out of boredom I think. I feel like I should do something so I go to the kitchen and open the fridge, and normally don't find anything in there that I want. I hadn't thought of it as an avoidance tactic - it doesn't take up long enough to avoid anything. It's more like I recognize that there is something that I want, but I'm not in touch with what it is. Food? Nope. Drink? Nope. I can't want a cigarette after all these years, surely? Cuddle? Probably not. Talk to someone? Nope. Zone out? Nope.

Well what the hell does my mind/body want then?!!

Writing it down like this for the first time, I think my body is trying to tell me to MOVE when that happens. I'll try exercise next time.