[n2freedom]

Lol, this is true. Which is why I have a cheetah as my avatar. It can run really fast and do some damage, but in short bursts. Being on fire all the time seems exhausting.

Being on fire all the time would be like saying being nervous all the time for a six. An Eight is not on fire all the time anymore than Six is nervous all the time. [/quote]

Also, I think this is why the 6 is more unpredictable. I may or may not react to something X way depending on a ton of factors. Whereas, for 8s it seems that you know what will irritate them or at least exactly how they will react to it.

I don't agree with this. I believe Sixes are unpredictable due to the oscillation between polar opposites that can take place within a Six. Eights can be very strategic in their reactions and don't just react on autopilot and/or pre-programmed reactions. If you are aware of Enneatypes, then you will recognize that Sixes have their pre-programmed irritation buttons for reactivity in the same manner as Eights.

This is another trait to look out for between 6s and 8s and explains why 6s 'crumble after enough pressure'.

I don't think this necessarily true especially in Sixes who exhibit CP traits. [/quote]

On another note, from my understanding Eights don't fight to death in general and/or on all issues. From what I have read, it is a fight to the death on issues that are important to an Eight which I also happen to identify with in my own personal life.

[Boss]

8s are better than cp6s when it comes to picking their battles. They will not "fight to death" for irrelevant crap. They have a much easier time walking away from futile conflict because they don't really care two hoots about what the 'audience' thinks. cp6s are more likely to push on long after shit is over and done with because they can be more invested in the illusion of victory. I have seen more 8s walk away from annoying squabbles than 6s.

And no, cp6s don't necessarily 'crumble under pressure', not easily at all. That's a stereotype. cp6s and 8s can be equally matched in a fight. The 8 is more at home in conflict, but it doesn't mean the cp6 will crumble easily. Both types will increasingly pressurize the opponent. cp6 and 8w9 fights can often look like an irresistible force relentlessly pushing against an immovable object. 8w7 and cp6 fights are a lot more explosive. 8w7s play these clever aggressive tricks that can confound cp6s and frustrate them. But no, a cp6 will not just fall apart under pressure. Cp6s don't let go easily, and some of them can be exceedingly aggressive and have great stamina in a conflict lol.


In some cases, 6s being superego types will, after a point, start to feel discomfort and guilt (if they're hurting other people (like family etc.) in the process; unhealthy 8s can be completely remorseless).

Also, Being ostracized and having people turn against them is one of the 6s deepest fears. So, the sense of alienation conflict can bring will sometimes make the 6 go back and make amends or try and explain or justify their behaviour in various ways. Or they will completely deny all reactivity on their part. 8s own up to their aggression in a conflict.

[Chipps]

Or they will completely deny all reactivity on their part.

Guilty.

For me, its not that I don't know that I was reactive, or pissed off, its just that it doesn't look that bad from my perspective. I've thought about it, and Im sure its horrifying for the person its directed towards and the people who are watching. I'll explode and go on a rampage, and then once its over, its like a switch flips and I go back to how I was before. Like nothing ever happened. I don't deny that I was mad, but I do downplay it. Not to make myself look better but because to me, it really wasn't that bad. Or, it wasn't my fault. I'll let the other person start yelling at me first and then BOOM. That way, I was only standing up for myself. Works every time.

[Boss]

@Chipps
8s also say that people are too sensitive, and it's not their problem. So, denial is an 8 defense mechanism (denial of one's own hurt feelings and then it leads to similar denial regarding other people's feelings). But in 6s, what happens is that they can not fully own up to their aggression because they do care about what how they're seen and how they see themselves. They will react all over the place and then say they never react because it's immature or what have you. A lot of them inwardly do know that they're reactive, but there's a lot of public denial and rationalization. They project all defensiveness and reactivity on their opponents, instead. 8s tend to be far more honest about their aggression, as I said.

[Chipps]

@Chipps
8s also say that people are too sensitive, and it's not their problem. So, denial is an 8 defense mechanism (denial of one's own hurt feelings and then it leads to similar denial regarding other people's feelings). But in 6s, what happens is that they can not fully own up to their aggression because they do care about what how they're seen and how they see themselves. They will react all over the place and then say they never react because it's immature or what have you. A lot of them inwardly do know that they're reactive, but there's a lot of public denial and rationalization. They project all defensiveness and reactivity on their opponents, instead. 8s tend to be far more honest about their aggression, as I said.

Lol. This is so true. I think I've state how much I dislike reactivity even though I know Im a reactive type. I still think its immature and a sign of weakness. When I see other people on an angry rampage, I judge them so much. Its like, "I'd never be like that". All the way up until the moment that I explode. I know I can explode. But I don't really associate it with who I am. Im sure I rationalize it away, but not purposely. When I blow my top on someone, its like Im watching this rampage happen right in front of me, but its not me doing it. If that makes any sense. Its like I become another person. I allow myself to lose control, and a hidden part of my personality comes out. Like I said, its like opening pandoras box, and wreak havoc on my surroundings for a brief moment. Ive also never apologized for it. I don't understand the point of flipping out only to apologize or explain later. The moment before I decide to lose control I think "Am I willing to lose everything", if so, I just go for it. I know that I always have a back up plan or that I can start over again somewhere else.

[MelanieM]

8s are better than cp6s when it comes to picking their battles. They will not "fight to death" for irrelevant crap. They have a much easier time walking away from futile conflict because they don't really care two hoots about what the 'audience' thinks. cp6s are more likely to push on long after shit is over and done with because they can be more invested in the illusion of victory. I have seen more 8s walk away from annoying squabbles than 6s.

And no, cp6s don't necessarily 'crumble under pressure', not easily at all. That's a stereotype. cp6s and 8s can be equally matched in a fight. The 8 is more at home in conflict, but it doesn't mean the cp6 will crumble easily. Both types will increasingly pressurize the opponent. cp6 and 8w9 fights can often look like an irresistible force relentlessly pushing against an immovable object. 8w7 and cp6 fights are a lot more explosive. 8w7s play these clever aggressive tricks that can confound cp6s and frustrate them. But no, a cp6 will not just fall apart under pressure. Cp6s don't let go easily, and some of them can be exceedingly aggressive and have great stamina in a conflict lol.


In some cases, 6s being superego types will, after a point, start to feel discomfort and guilt (if they're hurting other people (like family etc.) in the process; unhealthy 8s can be completely remorseless).

Also, Being ostracized and having people turn against them is one of the 6s deepest fears. So, the sense of alienation conflict can bring will sometimes make the 6 go back and make amends or try and explain or justify their behaviour in various ways. Or they will completely deny all reactivity on their part. 8s own up to their aggression in a conflict.

Unfortunately, this is so true.

[Boss]

@MelanieM
What is unfortunate? :)

[MelanieM]

@MelanieM
What is unfortunate? :)

Because, I wish I was more decisive. I wish I could just take my stand without giving a damn what others thought. I've done this and the reprucussions were not worth it. I do care what people think about me, I don't want to hurt others and see everyone's viewpoints almost so much that it stagnates me.

My husband is a true 8w9 and I am attracted to his "I don't care what people think attitude", but it also bothers me because he alienates people without knowing or dare I say caring. For that reason, I'm glad to be a 6.

Dont you like how I contradict myself typical 6 style :)

[obstinatesnooperr]

@Chipps
8s also say that people are too sensitive, and it's not their problem. . .

Recently guilty (ad infinitum). The apology went something like this (and was prompted by a friend of mine who is a friend of his): "I'm sorry if I said something last night that I would have said anyway when I was sober." (something = "I don't like you.") And when he later said that I am mean, I accepted it: "yeah, I am".

That always tends to shock people, when I agree to things they say that are true but negative. Mean, vain, selfish, demanding... I am. Why deny it? And if I feel a certain way about you, I have no qualms telling you.

Works in reverse too. I don't get it when people portray themselves one way to the world, and then go back and apologize for it when they act accordingly...

[Boss]

Person above me:

I am too lazy and tired to type your username, but I somehow have the energy to type a full post lol.

Yes, I do that too. Sometimes, people will say something like "I am a terrible/insert self depreciating word/ person". And if I agree, I just say yes.

In general, I think people can be sissies lol. I expect high levels of toughness and honesty from people. I don't shrink away when someone confronts me, and I expect people to not get butthurt at the drop of a hanky.

But, with age (23), I have become more compassionate and accepting. I, sometimes, recognize that not everyone is a fuckin veteran like I am when it comes to the battle that is life. So, I let things go. I hold back on the harshness or tone it down. I've learnt to give constructive feedback. Despite my efforts, most people either run way from me like a gazelle from a charging lion lol or they fluff up and react aggressively to try and bring me down a notch. I like the more even-tempered folk, who can take the honesty.
@MelanieM
I appreciate your honesty. The 8 can learn a lot from you too. And, it's not like 8s don't care what people think at all. They have large egos and tend to be self-aligned. But more than that, being a rejection type, they expect rejection and toughen their hearts against it. He alienates people because, subconsciously, he knows that rejection hurts so he rejects them first, instead. It doesn't mean that nothing gets to them. You can definitely learn from the part of him that follows his instincts and doesn't question his judgment. He can learn from you how to deeply connect with people, and how to act in ways that are not purely self-serving. He can learn co-operation from you. He can also learn to soften the blow, from a healthy 6. There are many such things you guys can learn from each other.