[Swordsman of Mana]

I was just thinking about this yesterday.

I disclaim any Enneagram correlation- but I do find that not only
do I feel more comfortable if people somewhat dislike me (IRL)-
I actually do get some sort of satisfaction out of it.

Though I don't want to 'get into trouble' and/or 'make problems
for myself' (as I have in the past)- it's as if I'm perfectly aware
that I don't fit in with people in the slightest, and, therefore,
don't want to beat around the bush about how much they're
going to end up hating me, eventually.

Plus, I really am aware that I am a bit 'rotten'- in that I can
barely behave myself for anything or anyone. It takes all my
strength of will to do right by anybody, even if I love them
desperately- to the point that I will sometimes imagine that
they don't love ME or are doing me wrong, just so I'll have
an excuse to act like a heathen.

So, in the end, I'm also decently self-loathing (and more than
a little bit masochistic)- giving being hated by others an even
more satisfying edge.

Ironically, however, people rarely end up even disliking me after
they've known me for awhile. In fact, it seems like I could damn
near beat them within an inch of their lives and they'd still like
me after having known me past a certain point.

I read in one description that 7w8s tend to assume people will not like them/be offended by them but don't care either way, sometimes getting surprised when someone actually does like them



Edit:
bold: definitely. when I like someone/get close to them, I feel a sort of desire to protect them/make sure I'm gentle with them, and most of the time, I don't want this responsibility, so I'm more comfortable when people dislike me (plus people tend to be really funny when they're offended)

[Dark Romantic]

And of course, you wouldn't want someone to be unfloral.

I figure it's only fair if I do it in person.

[Made Man]

Well you're bound to insult/displease doing what you do so the choice comes down to do you want to hurt yourself or have haters? You can always ignore and remove people projecting hate onto you, but dealing with yourself once you've gone crazy trying to please everyone won't be easy.

If someone does hate on you, why not turn that into energy and a drive to do what you couldn't do before?

[holyrockthrower]

I was a political cartoonist at my university for about 4 years, and I was always surprised (and amused!) by the number of people willing to hate me personally for drawing a funny, yet thought-provoking, picture. I took a sort of pride in reading their semi-coherent hate mail that always missed the actual point of the cartoon altogether.

That said, I also have a human need for people to like me and not hate me. I won't deny that, but on the other hand, I'm not going out of my way to be "nice" or lie to get them to accept me. Unless I have a good reason to do otherwise, I tell the truth. Even if it provokes them.

There's almost nothing I enjoy more than that conflict you can walk away from... the battle of wits... not alla "Princess Bride" though lol. But that feeling you get when you KNOW you said something that they never expected, something that they can't counter without looking like a jerk... yeah, best feeling EVER.

That's pretty much why I was the scapegoat child in my family.

[aconite]

I read in one description that 7w8s tend to assume people will not like them/be offended by them but don't care either way, sometimes getting surprised when someone actually does like them

lol, yes. I'm really surprised when someone calls me kind, or nice, or helpful. "Wait, are you talking about me"?

[holyrockthrower]

lol, yes. I'm really surprised when someone calls me kind, or nice, or helpful. "Wait, are you talking about me"?

...and not only that, I am uncomfortable with it. As though someone had pointed out some huge flaw in my character. I cringe.

[Swordsman of Mana]

lol, yes. I'm really surprised when someone calls me kind, or nice, or helpful. "Wait, are you talking about me"?

I'm usually a little bit embarrassed XD

[Swordsman of Mana]

you know, looking at it a little more, I think enjoying having haters is partially a defense mechanism. if someone I don't like insults me, fuck'em. who cares, but if let someone close to me emotionally and they do that...ouch. usually this will leave me feeling angry that I let them get that close to me and reinforces my belief that people are assholes and you have to be VERY careful who you open up to. by being blunt and forthright with everything, most people will be offended so that filters out all the people who don't understand me and leaves me with a much smaller possibility of becoming attached to and hurt by someone.

[Hruberen]

I'm not sure about haters, but I sure do loved to be gossiped about, it fuels my imagination and elevates me, because I know that deep inside they want to do what I do, but they don't have the balls for it, so they hate me instead. I will purposely do things to get talked about behind my back and to challenge people's perceptions of normality, I want the world to know i'm different.

[MuChApArAdOx]

you know, looking at it a little more, I think enjoying having haters is partially a defense mechanism. if someone I don't like insults me, fuck'em. who cares, but if let someone close to me emotionally and they do that...ouch. usually this will leave me feeling angry that I let them get that close to me and reinforces my belief that people are assholes and you have to be VERY careful who you open up to. by being blunt and forthright with everything, most people will be offended so that filters out all the people who don't understand me and leaves me with a much smaller possibility of becoming attached to and hurt by someone.

I get that, because if people don't like you at your worse, then they don't deserve you at your best...quoted my MM. You know i think i test people also, and this is not always a bad thing if you have motives behind it. Testing people is a way to filter out the good seeds from the bad ones. The ones who are still there in the end are keepers, because it takes someone special to understand/accept everything about your habits, good or bad. This weeding process sure does save lots of time and energy too. I didn't always realize that, although when i did i used this tool to speed the connection whether that turns out keeping or letting go. Why waste time and energy on people you don't see in the grander scheme of things. Quality , not quantity.