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• Type Six-Type One

Enneagram Ones and Sixes are alike in many ways and they are often misidentified with each other. Both types are extremely hard workers, conscientious, serious minded, and have a strong sense of duty and honor. They both care deeply about truth and commitment, and both have a desire to serve others and improve the world. Both have a guiding sense of purpose, often lead by deeply held beliefs and ideals. Of course, they also bring other qualities that are especially their own. Ones bring a sense of reason and mental clarity, the ability to think clearly under pressure and to come to firm decisions quickly. They are more sure of themselves and their opinions than Sixes tend to be, so Ones often serve as the leader in a One-Six relationship, making the final decision and taking responsibility for it. Ones also bring a concern for order and consistency, for logic and elegance that is sometime lacking in Sixes. They may also bring a distinct idealism that has little to do with personal loyalty or hero worship (as it may in a Six).
On the other hand, Sixes bring warmth, more emotional responsiveness and availability, generosity, and playfulness that can be endearing and which can make Ones think twice about their certitudes and positions. Sixes also have the ability to connect with people in a more direct and human way than Ones tend to do. These qualities are attractive to the other and they can make this couple a dynamic and yet highly stable team, provided their fundamental beliefs are in alignment. They take responsibility in relationships, sharing burdens and chores equally. They also feel that they can count on the other: they are steadfast, loyal, and faithful to each other, wanting to build a solid foundation together. Because both can count on the other, this gives both room to relax—something they both need to do more often.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

As stress increases, Ones become more critical and judgmental of everyone including themselves and their partner. They tend to be a clear case of all work and no play, making them fairly joyless and difficult to be around even in the average Levels. Ones begin to feel that others are not trying hard enough, are not serious enough, or not mature and meticulous enough—or certainly not as much as Ones are themselves. This creates resentment and accusations and fairly constant bickering which can be extremely wearing on Sixes more than it is on Ones. As they become more stressed, Sixes become increasingly emotionally reactive, worrying and insecure, looking to their partner to be a bulwark of stability and fairness. What Sixes find instead are Ones who are critical, faultfinding, and rejecting—driving Sixes deeper into their feelings of anxiety and insecurity. This often makes Sixes begin to doubt the future of the relationship, feeling that it is likely doomed, which can often become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
If tensions continue, Sixes will be increasingly defensive and evasive; they will also tend to work harder and to stay away from home more frequently so that they can avoid spending time with the One. Sixes will also find it difficult to talk directly about their feelings or fears, and so little gets adequately aired out. As Sixes become more inconsistent and unreliable, these reactions fuel the One's resentment and disappointment in them. Stalwart Sixes begin to not show up or do even the minimum of what is expected of them, driving Ones into fits of frustration and apoplexy. Moreover, Ones find the anxieties and defensiveness of Sixes frustrating and they begin be angry and condescending toward them. Ones will become increasingly cold and critical until Sixes lash out at them, blaming them for their predicament. Anger, resentment, accusations, and name-calling can be part of the picture as the relationship deteriorates.

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• Type Six-Type Two

Both Enneagram Twos and Sixes are highly dutiful and take their responsibilities toward each other very seriously. The emphasis tends to be slightly different, however, with Twos focused primarily on building intimacy and positive feelings between themselves and other individuals, whereas the emphasis of Sixes tends to be on building a foundation of security, a sturdy platform of hard work and trust that everyone can count on. Both types are highly responsible and tend to put the needs of others before their own. They are both family oriented and foster domesticity; they easily share duties around the house and with their children or friends. They are both socially involved in their community and see great value in having many social connections which give them the feeling that they are valued in their world. Sixes value the warmth, kindheartedness, generosity, and self-sacrifice of the Two. Sixes are aware of how well suited Twos are to be an excellent, devoted spouse and parent, and that they could be trusted to be loyal.
On the other hand, Twos will likely admire the hard work, steadfastness to commitments, perseverance, modesty and playfulness of Sixes. Even if they should sometimes be grumpy and indecisive, Twos realize that healthy Sixes almost always come around in the end. Caution and vigilance are recognized as worthwhile assets in what can be a cruel and exploitative world. Twos often feel that they can count on the Six's watchfulness to spot difficulties before they become problems. When Twos and Sixes are healthy, they may actually admire each other more than they feel a grand passion for each other. Their relationship may be based more on steadiness, mutual respect, and affection than on some kind of overheated chemistry between them. They see the other as good and dependable, and that is often more than enough as a basis for an enduring and productive life together.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

One of the main potential areas for problems between Twos and Sixes has to do with control and autonomy, between being too close and being too far apart. Part of the problem has to do with the lack of confidence of lower functioning Sixes and their ability to make decisions and to be decisive. Average Sixes tend to feel pressured by all kinds of competing demands on their time and energy—by the Two, by the boss, by friends, by their church, and even by their country. Pressure from all sides makes Sixes feel more anxious and emotionally unstable, unable to think clearly or to make decisions easily. They can become doubtful, suspicious, and negativistic. As Sixes become more reactive, they are likely to impulsively take almost any action just to relieve their anxieties momentarily. At such times, Twos may begin to offer them more help and advice, or to issue "orders" as a way to empower the Six and help them through their anxiety.
However, Sixes usually perceive the Two's help as intrusiveness and undermining of their self-confidence, and they resent it. Cycles of anxiety and acting out, followed by tearful reunions, followed by needing to be more autonomous on the Six's part, followed by more intrusion on the Two's part, can wear this relationship down. The problem is that lower functioning Twos think there is no such thing as too much intimacy since they always want to be closer. However, Sixes are more ambivalent, pushing the Two away and then pulling them closer. The Six's ambivalence and inconsistency drives the Two crazy and taps into their fears of rejection. Twos will up the ante by trying to help the Six more, although Sixes experience their help as control, and they seek more distance. This pair can become enmeshed in a bad child, punishing parent drama that can ultimately be fatal to their relationship and the real mutual respect that it was potentially founded on.

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• Type Six-Type Three

Surprisingly, this is not a common pairing, although these two types can work very well as a team. On the positive side, Threes bring hard work, optimism, energy, a desire to communicate to and connect with people, and a feeling of unlimited potential both personally and in the relationship itself. Threes can bring an enormous sense of self-confidence and the hope of success that is assured—that this relationship is a winning team or that this couple is the best ever! Common goals bring them together—they are both practical and want to achieve tangible things in the world. Sixes bring grounding, industrious hard work, perseverance in difficult times and personal loyalty to the Three. Sixes provide warmth, support, and a great deal of practical good sense. Sixes can also bring a compassion for the downtrodden or the less fortunate in life. Threes can pick up on this compassionate quality in Sixes and learn to open their own hearts more deeply to the underprivileged and the unfortunate.
Both believe in applying elbow grease toward goals, whether toward financial security or developing personal talents. In short, they are both doers. They foster equality and mutual respect for the different talents each brings and the shared interests they invest in. Threes help bolster the Six's confidence and develop their self-esteem. Sixes offer support to Threes without Threes feeling smothered. Sixes also help Threes to become part of something bigger than themselves-a church, a service organization, a political or spiritual group. Both become stronger individually and as a team by "finding themselves" through service and humble hard work. Respect for each other can grow as each continues to discover the other's good qualities. This can be a very enduring and successful couple as long as heart-centered values and deeper principles keeps them both grounded.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Ultimately, each has what the other needs, but unless their relationship is healthy and well stabilized, they can tend to bring out the worst characteristics in themselves and in each other. These two types have similar negative qualities in common: both can be competitive and become workaholics, both are looking externally for reassurance to make up for secret inferiority feelings and insecurity, both want to be socially accepted. Both can be conformists of various kinds, doing what is expected of them, and both avoid looking at their deeper feelings or discussing their emotions. Both Sixes and Threes have feelings, but they tend to put them aside in order to get the job done whatever it is. Their different coping styles can get on each other's nerves by reminding them of their own weak spots. Threes seem to be inflated and grandiose to Sixes; Sixes seem to be nervous and reactive loose cannons to Threes. Sixes err on the side of caution, Threes on the side of too much ambition.
At their worst, both can become dishonest, evasive, and covert about their own actions and feelings. They can deteriorate into a relationship of robotic functioning in which real feelings are not discussed and both develop social lives away from the other. Threes will try to keep up appearances and are often embarrassed by Sixes (intentionally or inadvertently) revealing that the pair is in trouble. Eventually, there is a quiet, deadening down of any real enthusiasm or interest from both in the other. Instead of healthy skepticism and questioning of the Six, or the playful teasing and challenging competitiveness of the Three, both sides present an increasingly bland mask of normalcy to themselves and to the world until something comes along to expose the situation.

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• Type Six-Type Four

Both Enneagram Fours and Sixes, have many natural affinities for each other, especially since both are highly emotional and often feel insecure around people. Both tend to strong, immediate feelings and to act on their unconscious hunches or intuitions. Sixes often misidentify themselves initially as Fours because of the traits that they actually have in common. These very traits can also be ones that they bring to the relationship, enabling them to have an unusual degree of empathy and tolerance for each other. In short, Fours and Sixes can bring to each other the feeling that they are kindred souls, connected by their feelings of abandonment and a certain distrust of others. They may feel like "orphans in the storm" who offer mutual support and reassurance. Rather than energize each other, when they are healthy, Fours and Sixes tend to support and stabilize each other, usually acting as a sounding board for worries and complaints that they feel they cannot air anywhere else.
Fours bring sensitivity, sensuality, and the ability to express emotions openly, including the feelings that Sixes themselves do not know how to express. Fours talk about their inner lives—again, something that Sixes often need to learn. Sixes bring hard work, perseverance, practicality, loyalty, and concern with security to the relationship. They are also often warm and unpredictably playful and able to break through whatever gloom and self-absorption Fours may periodically fall into. Fours give Sixes the sense that they are needed—helping to give Sixes more confidence in their ability to cope with things. Sixes like being practical and they often provide Fours with a platform of some kind to develop their creativity as well as the time and support they may need to work through their emotional issues. This combination creates steadiness and daring, balance and the ability to fill in the gaps for each other both in their own development and in practical affairs.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

As noted above, both Fours and Sixes have issues with feelings of abandonment. Both types in the lower Levels tend to be emotionally reactive, critical of others, pessimistic, and can feel overwhelmed. While they may not often talk about it, they may test each other in various ways in an attempt to discover how loyal the other will be to them. Both types may also begin to subtly withdraw attention and affection from the other as a way of defending against the hurt of potential abandonment, should it occur. But in this, both types have a tendency to create a self-fulfilling prophesy in which their fears and reactions bring about the very thing they are consciously trying to avoid. Both types can become codependent, and their reliance on each other may not result in development for either: Fours do not automatically become more practical, and Sixes do not become more insightful about themselves.
Another potential trouble spot for Fours and Sixes lies in the area of change and tolerance for change. Generally, Fours are more interested in self-exploration and self-development and they tend to be more adventuresome in their tastes and in what they allow themselves to think and to experience. Sixes tend to be more conservative and resistant to change and to personal exploration, making for potential conflict with Fours, who may feel that Sixes are holding them back and stifling their creativity and development. Both can be pessimistic and self-doubting, gloomy and mistrustful of others. The complaint that Fours typically have about Sixes is that they are not free-spirited and romantic enough, whereas the complaint of Sixes about Fours is that they are too undependable and act too much on whims and are not emotionally stable enough. Both types are reactive and conflicts can escalate quickly: misunderstandings can lead to projections and massive over-reactions.

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• Type Six-Type Five

Both Enneagram Fives and Sixes are mental types, although there are significant differences. Both have respect for the intellectual acumen of the other and the expertise and technical mastery the other possesses. They may well begin a relationship as colleagues or by sharing the same professional area of interest which forms the basis for a friendship and eventually something more intimate. Both types respect detail, factual objectivity and accuracy, craftsmanship, and the ability to analyze situations without inserting personal opinions or biases. As a pair, Fives and Sixes can be highly effective in dealing with crises because both are attuned to danger and to bringing their expertise to solve problems.
Fives also offer emotional calm, detached objectivity, observational skills, an unusual and penetrating curiosity, and an unwillingness to settle for easy answers. Sixes bring strongly held values and ideas that make them less objective than Fives although they are more passionate. Their very emotional reactivity—including anxiety and fear-gives Sixes a more sympathetic, human quality. Sixes are more openly unsure of themselves and often look to authorities of some kind (including the Fives they trust) to give them guidance and advice. Fives tend to be surer of their ability to think for themselves and to entertain new ideas. Fives also tend to be more skeptical and rejecting of authority. Fives are accepting of Sixes' changing needs for independence with connection; they are also patient with the Six's vacillations. The devotion of Sixes and understated caring can break through the Five's tendency to isolate. Thus, Fives and Sixes, as a pair, tend to have a symbiotic intellectual relationship of doubt and decision, questions and answers, problems solved and problems discovered that can be endlessly stimulating. In any event, for a relationship between these two opposite head types to work, there must be a tested and unshakable trust between them: they may often come to different conclusions, but they at least know that their hearts and minds are in the right place.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

The potential trouble spots between Fives and Sixes have already been hinted at above. In short, Fives and Sixes tend to think in diametrically opposite ways and often are on the opposite side of the fence in their conclusions. There will be a good deal of intellectual and emotional tension between them, for better or worse. Sixes tend to look to precedents for guidance about how to proceed; they tend also to be more guided by rules and procedures and protocols, building their arguments and marshaling their facts meticulously, if sometimes ponderously, so that they can feel unassailable. Fives tend to take greater intellectual leaps of the imagination and to consider less or not at all what has been the received wisdom or common consensus of opinion.
Once trust and communication break down, Fives can begin to see Sixes as too conservative and indecisive in their thinking and actions. Sixes get nervous about making a mistake and do not want to be criticized (much less ostracized) for their efforts. They can seem to be prejudiced and not open minded, petty and political, playing favorites and trying to please authorities rather than seek the objective truth. To Sixes, Fives can seem excessively independent, unwilling and constitutionally unable to work within a system or group. Sixes feel that Fives are needlessly provocative and have useless, strange ideas that are impractical and a waste of time. Sixes want to build security by having something clear to believe in; Fives want to find the objective facts, whether or not it makes them feel secure. Fives do not need Sixes' discouraging wet blanket approach. Sixes do not need Fives' endlessly vivid imagination for darkness and catastrophe. Each can feed each other's sense of powerlessness and hopelessness. Fives can see Sixes as closed-minded drudges and fanatics, whereas Sixes see Fives as weird, isolated, and hopelessly impractical. As a pair, these are emotional opposites and tend to work better as professional colleagues than as intimates: one wants to put out fires, the other wants to play with matches.

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• Type Six-Type Six

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Sixes generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. Strong Six couples understand each other deeply and make a point of trying to understand what they don't understand. Two Sixes usually bond with each other very quickly sensing a kindred spirit, and there can rapidly develop a playful, bantering, buddies-in-arms kind of excited collusion and relief, like two kids who have found each other in the woods and can help each other to safety. A double Six couple will have a sense of shared secrets and values, of intellectual stimulation and questioning that they find both useful and stimulating.
Trust is extremely important to both Sixes, and once it has been established, it allows them to relax and enjoy themselves as they do with few others. Trust allows double Six couples to think aloud to test ideas, voice doubts and suspicions, and to discover what they really feel about various things. They give each other a lot of support and mutual protection, and are ready to come to the other's aid without hesitation. Loyalty, commitment, and a "You're my friend—no questions asked" attitude reinforces the feelings of security and safety that they build together. There can also be a great deal of unspoken sensitivity and delicacy in a double Six relationship. Sixes are generally not adept at talking about their feelings directly, so their feelings and attitudes are mostly expressed in their actions and in the depth of their dedication and steadfastness. Each person also inspires the other as each works for the other's welfare and happiness—often more energetically than they would for their own alone.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Double Six couples (whether in intimate or professional situations) tend to be emotionally reactive, and once a spirit of negativity or scarcity enters the picture, their fears can begin to feed off of each other. Double Six pairs can get into worst case scenarios and other forms of catastrophe, each magnifying problems until they both feel like crises are everywhere and that they are doomed. Sometimes extreme reactions will cause them to act impulsively, without thinking through their situation or finding an adequate solution to their problem. They may arbitrarily take an action—any action—that promises to relieve their anxiety. On the other hand, double Six couples can become indecisive and fall into a feeling of stalemate and confusion, unable to act and unable to get some perspective on their problems. Since they are also emotionally reactive, they tend to become edgy and argumentative with each other, often blaming the other for the situation and for not providing the solution. Shifting blame back and forth can be like a ping pong match whose main objectives are to keep connection with the other by keeping them in the argument—and to buy time to work through their anxiety so that a solution may appear.
Double Six couples can thus be one of the most keyed up of pairings with lots of yelling, outbursts, arguments, blaming—and making up—in the mix. In the lower Levels, there can be an openly worried, semi-hysterical atmosphere that keeps everyone on edge with nervous pessimism. And yet, it is difficult to break the pattern because so many of the double Sixes' fears are irrational and based on speculations about the future. There is no way to settle them logically until the future happens. Double Six couples therefore tend to wear each other out with negativity, worrying, suspicion, and eventually mistrust of each other. Accusations and feelings of betrayal or lack of support can be part of the picture as this couple sours and finds it almost impossible to reestablish trust and the old friendly, playful spirit that they once had.

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• Type Six-Type Seven

Both Enneagram Sixes and Sevens are mental types, and there can be a great deal of mental stimulation in this pairing. These two types offer many areas in which they reinforce each other, and some areas in which the strengths of one counterbalance the limitations of the other. Sevens are usually entertaining and tend to lift the spirits of Sixes. Both are quick mentally and often have rapier wits: they enjoy bantering with each other, verbally sparring and seeing how absurd or funny they can become as they push each other to more outrageous limits. Sevens are particularly good at generating new ideas while Sixes are particularly good at mastering the practical steps that are necessary to get things done. Sevens help Sixes put fear and limitation into perspective, and sometimes to move beyond them entirely. They thus make effective team members in which the Seven lays out the big picture and gets people excited about new possibilities while the Six moves in with the logistical and tactical know-how, following through with the details. In intimate relationships, the same balance pertains: Sevens are the stimulators, Sixes are the regulators—and they can keep each moving forward by allowing the other to counterbalance their own limitations.
To this visionary-functionary mix, Sixes bring commitment and loyalty to the Seven, often an expertise and groundedness that the Seven comes to trust and rely on implicitly, as well as a strong grip on reality and what can be accomplished within given parameters. Sevens bring a driving sense of optimism and possibility, high energy, a sense of adventure, and fearlessness with regard to failure. They can teach Sixes how to be resilient and how not to fear the future, while Sixes can teach Sevens the difference between optimism and pipedreams.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Despite how well Sixes and Sevens can reinforce each other's strengths when they are healthy, in the average to lower Levels, the picture can shift quickly. Sixes are essentially interested in security and predictability, foreseeing problems and building procedures to prevent future uncertainty. They are aware of limitations and why things cannot be done—or at least done easily. Sevens, by contrast, are about seeking happiness and relief from increasing frustration or anxiety. They are about trying new things, seeing new possibilities and overcoming limitations. They do not want to hear about problems or obstacles: they want things to be done the day before yesterday. Sixes tend to be negative and pessimistic, while Sevens tend to be positive and optimistic.
Sevens are future oriented, while Sixes tend to be aware of the past, of precedents, and the lessons of history that would prevent things from going badly again. Sixes very much want to find someone with whom they can have a long term commitment, Sevens tend to be fearful of long term commitments and enter into them somewhat reluctantly. Sixes tend to feel that Sevens are too hedonistic, selfish, extravagant, and when the chips are down, they wonder if they can be relied on. Will they skip off to someone else or avoid their responsibilities in some form of escapism or addiction? Sevens tend to feel that Sixes are too anxiety ridden, worry too much, and make themselves (and everyone else!) crazy raising every question and objection before trying anything. Sixes oppose everything, at least at first, and get distrustful and suspicious easily. They live a life of limits and rules that Sevens feel are restrictions largely imaginary and self-imposed. In a Six/Seven couple, these two opposing philosophies reflect the very different expectations Sixes and Seven have from life and from a relationship, and unless they can be reconciled, it will be difficult for this couple to remain one.

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• Type Six-Type Eight

Enneagram Sixes and Eights can build an extraordinarily strong, long-lasting relationship on what is, at root, a defensive view of the world. Both types feel that most people and the world are selfish and untrustworthy, and that they world is highly unpredictable. One therefore needs to take care of oneself and one's own interests (Eights) and have strong allies and the ability to get back up from one's friends (Sixes). Both Sixes and Eights have deep issues with trust—and with finding people they are able to trust-and so when they have found each other and have gone through a period of testing, their alliance can be solid and deep. Once they have bonded with each other, both types have done so on a deep level of their being, and while the relationship may change over time, they are never indifferent to each other. They both admire and try to embody strength, commitment to one's word, honor, unquestioned loyalty, responsibility, hard work, courage, a spirit of protectiveness, and fighting for the underdog. Both are doers, and enjoy being active, getting tasks accomplished, building a more safe and secure world for themselves and their loved ones. Sixes bring warmth, the desire for personal connection and commitment, a certain playfulness and sensitivity.
They are also mental types and bring skepticism, analytic thinking, and the ability to think through decisions and to foresee outcomes and potential problems before acting. Sixes thus tend to act as advisors and lieutenants to Eights who tend to take the lead and provide the vision and audacity that Sixes sometimes lack themselves. Eights also bring directness and decisiveness, strong wills, confidence, a can do spirit that is energized by adversity and a penchant for taking on challenges. Sixes tend to look up to the Eights as their hero, while Eights are touched by the Six's devotion and courage. Eights are aware of their inner struggles and what it takes to overcome them. When there is genuine affection between these two types, there may be fireworks and occasional fights, but the bond only seems to grow stronger with time.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Both Sixes and Eights are emotional, although both tend to hide their emotions and vulnerabilities as best they can. Eights do so under a veneer of toughness and bravado, Sixes under a shell of defensiveness and bluster. Both tend to counterattack and go on the offensive when threatened—or when they feel they are being threatened. In general, Eights tend to take the lead in most relationships they are in and to set the tone and make decisions. They expect others to obey them and to be loyal to them. Eights may tolerate (or even be amused by) an occasional flare up of independence on the part of others around them, but ultimately, they expect to be in charge. For the most part, this is also fine with Sixes, except for those times when Sixes feel the need to push back and to prove themselves. They need to show others (including the Eight) that they cannot be pushed around or taken advantage of. Power struggles of all kinds can ensue. This is especially true of "counterphobic" Sixes who can actually react much like Eights, displaying leadership, decisiveness and independence (on the positive side) as well as bluster, aggression, and defiance. Sixes who are more counterphobic tend to get into more open fights with Eights until both have determined their territory and just how far each can push the other.
Sixes who are more openly phobic (fearful, timid, anxious) generally tend to avoid confrontations with Eights; instead, they tend to present no open threat to the Eight's dominance, while being covertly passive-aggressive and evasive. Eights can get into conflicts with phobic Sixes by sensing their indirect, questioning qualities—and whether or not the Six is as loyal to the Eight as the Eight wants. Eights may become more or less openly contemptuous of them if they feel the Six is weak or vacillating. Problems in this relationship can be exacerbated by the Eight's tendency to get into rages, to make threats to the Six's security, or to bully and play on weaknesses. When trust and respect crumble in this relationship, constant testing from both parties brings about the end fairly quickly.

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• Type Six-Type Nine

This is one of the most stable and most common relationships. Although both types are very different, they want rather similar things—security and predictability (Sixes) and stability and autonomy (Nines). They both want their lives to be built on solid, dependable values and for good, honest work to be rewarded. Both types tend to personify "middle of the road" values in their time and culture, to be dutiful, respectful of authority, and to abide by the rule of law. On the other hand, there is a rebellious streak in Sixes and a counterculture streak in Nines that allows some of these couples to live on the fringes of society, to be unusual in their lifestyle and beliefs, to be free thinkers and unconcerned about conventional values and mores.
More for Sixes and Nines than for most couples, much depends on their belief systems and the quality of their childhood experiences—and they are looking for a partner who will mirror this, including their own beliefs and reactions. To this mix, there are also complementary differences: Sixes bring a more active mind, questioning and alert to exceptions, to problems, and to safety issues. They can be more skeptical of others and find it more difficult to be trusting: others need to prove themselves first. Nines, on the other hand, are usually trusting and unquestioning, sunny and easy to get along with. They are optimistic and steady, offering support and non-threatening acceptance. If Sixes tend to see the exception and to focus on complications, Nines tend to see the general and to focus on what will work without problems. This couple gets along well, greasing each other's wheels and adding just enough gas to the mix to keep them moving forward together. Change, when it comes, is slow and methodical. Both tend to see themselves as simple, regular people and do not feel special or exempt in any way. Both bolster the other's confidence through their solidarity with each other. They are generous with each other and do not crowd the other or make special demands. When they find a relationship such as this, it usually feels like they have found what their heart has been seeking and their dream has come true.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Since Sixes and Nines find it very difficult to say what is actually on their minds (and what they really want for themselves), there is a great tendency in this relationship to clam up, to be silently stubborn and defensive, and to make the other person guess what is going on. If there is little motive to do so, the two parties will fall into a stalemate that keeps the other at arm's distance, yet close enough so that the other will not drift away. They may also begin to have health problems or other nonspecific complaints about themselves that seeks to bind the couple in cords of concern and guilt. Psychological or physical problems help to ensure that the other person will continue to be there.
Moreover, while these two types fulfill social roles very well, they both tend to disappear in their roles too completely for their own good. Sixes are frequently burdened by guilt feelings and doggedly do whatever they think they must do to keep their job or their security in place. They try to make sure that they have covered the bases so that no one will be angry at them for failing in their responsibility. Nines also fulfill roles, but these usually have to do with mediating between people to keep them together in some way. They accommodate themselves and go along with what others need even as their own stress grows.
Another potential problem is that both types love the familiar and dislike change. The feeling is that familiarity equals security, which is reinforced by the conviction that they must not rock the boat. Both types will tend to put off confrontations until they are pushed to the limit, although Sixes have a shorter fuse concerning their anger. They will either give up on the Nine, or there will be an explosion in which a backlog of pent up hostilities will be said, often to the permanent damage of the relationship.

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That's it for Type Six.

[HollyGolightly]

Thanks for this :) I tend to get on with type 9s and 2s but I have trouble with 3s and 8s. But reading this has helped me a lot. Maybe now I can try to understand by type 3 sister better :)