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• Type Five-Type One

Enneagram Ones and Fives are alike in many ways, particularly in their reticence to show their emotions directly and in their identification with their minds. Both see themselves as fact-oriented, although Fives are more purely mental while Ones like their ideas and philosophies to have practical ramifications. Both bring to their relationship a desire to be objective; they both want to avoid falling into sentimentality, or to allow their feelings to cloud their mental clarity. Ones and Fives share a rich mental life of intellectual stimulation, curiosity, and a multiplicity of mutual interests—from the opera to sports to politics to economics to history, and so forth. Ones and Fives often enjoy each other's company and intellectual stimulation, loving to debate and admiring the intelligence and expertise exhibited by the other. Unexpectedly, they tickle each other's funny bone—this pair loves to laugh together at life's absurdities. Child rearing, traveling, building a house, shared hobbies, or other complex activities are mutually stimulating and bonding for them.
They both are highly respectful of personal boundaries, rarely being the one to make the first move in anything regarding intimacy unless they have pretty strong signals from the other that they would be welcomed. Thus, Ones and Fives tend to bring a certain formality and courtesy to each other that can be charmingly courtly and old-fashioned. Ones add to this a concern with logic and order, with systematic thinking, attention to details and the desire to improve the world around them. Fives bring curiosity, the willingness to be intellectually (and sexually) adventuresome, a taste for the bizarre and illogical, and the ability to relish disorder, chaos, and lack of apparent meaning. There is quiet affectionate appreciation in this pairing. If romance develops, it develops slowly but deeply.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues



As intellectual as both types tend to be, they are also opposites in important areas, and this can lead to conflicts and the eventual breakdown of their relationship. Most seriously, Ones tend to believe in the objectivity of certain truths and believe that once these are known, there is the possibility of arriving at objective certitude. Ones feel that their ideals and philosophy have given them contact with some form of ultimate Truth, and therefore they are living from a viewpoint in which acquiring certainty is a moral imperative. Fives, on the other hand, feel that there is no such thing as objective truth, merely possible interpretations for what seems to be objective reality. We may come to some degree of consensus, but that does not necessarily mean that our consensus reflects anything completely objective. It just means that we choose to think the same way. Fives are thus skeptics and debunkers of certitude. They love to debate and deflate ironclad philosophies and self-righteously held positions wherever they find them. Thus, less healthy Ones can drift into various forms of fundamentalism, believing that they hold the key to truth, while Fives can become provocative nihilists, believing that there is no truth.
In a relationship, both types find it very difficult to change their basic philosophies of life—and they both find it difficult to respect anyone who believes the opposite of them. Yet both can respect the other's boundaries to a fault, not wanting to impose their own beliefs on the other. The relationship can thus become cool and distant, impersonal and analytic, tinged with resignation and cynicism. Ones can feel that Fives are too impractical and endlessly concerned with irrelevancies; Fives can feel that Ones are too serious and rigid and that they take their opinions far too seriously. Both can become too self-contained, evolving their lives in separate spheres-perhaps only getting together for occasional meals, to sleep, or to solve pressing problems. Coldness and isolation take over and may last for years, without either of them realizing it very clearly much less feeling that either of them can do very much about it.

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• Type Five-Type Two

Enneagram Twos and Fives are double opposites, as it were—a people person versus a loner, a feeling type with a thinking type. Twos and Fives come from different points of view on what is important in life and in a relationship. And yet, because they are so different, there can also be an intense attraction to the mystery of the other. Twos and Fives are a more common pairing than might be expected: Twos can see Fives as challenges—distant, mentally preoccupied, not giving many outward signals, and difficult to charm easily because they are so private. It is hard to know what pleases Fives which makes Twos only try harder. Twos bring to the relationship a willingness to take the initiative and to pursue the Five—to be the first one to call or to ask for a date, no matter which gender they are. When healthy, Twos bring warmth, physical comfort and ease (something Fives typically lack), a desire to improve the Five's living conditions, style of dress and eating habits—and many other marks of thoughtfulness-as signs of affection and genuine interest. Fives are usually not unaware of these, though they may not outwardly react to the expressions of affection of Twos, Fives are secretly pleased that anyone cares and is being attentive to them.
For their part, Fives are usually very loyal: they find relationships complex and difficult, so they tend to value one that begins to work, and they tend to put energy into it. Fives bring stability and quiet, dispassionate good judgment and objectivity, particularly in crises. When Fives focus, they are good listeners and give undivided attention. They are not as attached to outcomes, and so can often make decisions more wisely and be good advisers to more emotionally volatile Twos. Fives are often more calm than Twos, and this gives them both types a feeling of steadiness and of hope. In short, Fives stabilize Twos' emotionality, while Twos warm up Fives' coolness. Twos enjoy seeing that their attention and affections have had positive, visible effects on the Five. Fives secretly like being doted over and finally finding the nurturing they have unconsciously been seeking (but may have almost given up on).

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Many of the issues that this couple faces have to do with their boundaries and how respectful or not each is of the other. Twos tend to become frustrated by the Five's lack of immediate response to them—sometimes Fives are so taciturn and involved in their own mental world that there is no response at all—which hurts the Two's feelings and feels like a rejection to them. Feeling rejected triggers deep anxieties in Twos relating to the fear that they are unwanted and unloved. This may make them redouble their efforts to get some kind of response from the Five. They may become more talkative, more curious and questioning of the Five, and more demanding-physically hoisting the Five from her desk, or barging into her library to drag her out dancing or to a movie because she needs a break from work. Much of the Two's activities become a form of intrusion that has at its root the need to reassure himself that the Five is still connected with him.
But the more intrusive Twos become, the more Fives internally withdraw and detach emotionally from what feels like a threat to their autonomy and competence. Fives start to lose confidence in themselves and are actually harmed by being overly helped. Lower functioning Twos, however, feel that they have no value unless they are actively involved in every aspect of the other's life. But the more they feel intruded on, the more unsafe Fives begin to feel, and they may start to fear the Two (because they seem irrational and out of control to the Five). Fives can also become cynical about the value and viability of relationships—and cynical about the possibility of finding one that works for them. Fives tend to walk away from the entire question, losing interest in having an intimate relationship often for years at a time. But the more distance Fives put between themselves and Twos, the more this brings out the Two's obsessions and the more aggressive they become in their pursuit of the Five. It is a prescription for disaster, or at least loneliness, for both.

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• Type Five-Type Three

This is a frequently seen combination, although one that might not be expected. Enneagram Fives often give Threes depth, new areas of expertise and credibility, while sparking creativity. Threes give Fives confidence, presentation skills, and awareness of the importance of communicating effectively with others. Both Threes and Fives are primarily focused on their work and on objective issues and concerns. Both types are preoccupied with competency and effectiveness, especially in their professional areas, and this is where they support each other in an outstanding way. Although both have deep feelings, both tend not to focus on them for the sake of getting on with their work. They tend to understand each other's need to balance closeness with their need for personal space: they do not crowd each other. Threes contribute social skills, the ability to communicate and to sell ideas and projects, charm, energy, and a strong sense of practicality to the relationship. They can often see what is needed in the relationship or in the world and help to marshal the Five's skills toward that goal. Fives bring depth of understanding, expertise in one or more areas, perseverance with details until the goal is accomplished, an objective dispassion, and lack of attachment to outcomes.
This can be a "brilliant" couple—sharp, successful, deeply competent, and well respected. If they are attractive, Threes can be a trophy for Fives who are usually less concerned with appearance; Fives, on the other hand, can also be a trophy for Threes who are proud of the Five's expertise and who are glad to learn from them whenever they can. Both regard the other as a catch who enhances their own self-esteem and social standing. Their deep, often unspoken, feelings for each other frequently deepen even more over time, gradually allowing this couple to discover not just passion but quiet affection and pride in each other.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

This couple's emphasis on work and competency can also lead them into conflicts and tensions with each other. A great deal of their self-esteem is also derived from their work and how it is regarded by others. Threes and Fives can get into more or less open contentiousness over who was the original source of ideas and work. There can be elements of comparing one's work and contributions, claims about who is responsible for which ideas or breakthroughs, and other forms of competitiveness coming not only from Threes but from Fives. Threes also tend to want to get on with the project or with whatever they feel needs to be done, while Fives tend to take a long time fine tuning and tinkering until they feel that they are adequately complete. Conflicts can erupt over use of time, resources, and priorities as the more practical minded Three becomes increasingly impatient with the Five's lengthy preparations but lack of action. Fives may also begin to lose respect for the ethical standards of Threes who they feel are ready to cut corners or exaggerate claims in order to accomplish goals or to stay ahead professionally.
Both types also tend to not speak directly about their feelings or misgivings about the relationship until it is too late: then they both can become sarcastic and hostile, icy and distant from each other. Fives can be too blunt and argumentative for Threes who can retaliate with sarcastic zingers and put-downs while pretending not to be hostile or irritated. Both types can be arrogant and impatient with the other, and as a couple they begin to find little to admire in the other. Threes can seem shallow and dishonest to Fives, while Fives can seem weird and repulsive to Threes. Turning a negative situation around will depend on how much each needs the other, as well as the depth and breadth of other shared values, such as children and spiritual beliefs. If these are few, it will be difficult to salvage the relationship once their connection has been broken since both types tend to be suspicious and cynical about people.

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• Type Five-Type Four

Both types bring a certain richness and special qualities of aspects of human development: Fours bring an artistic and emotional temperament, the habit of introspection and sensitivity to feelings in themselves and others. Both types are private and like depth, and they do not mind taking time to explore things deeply and to savor the richness of their own experience. Enneagram Fours and Fives may well have different interests but they appreciate different perspectives and respect the other's intensity and commitment to following their own feelings and interests. Fives bring an inquiring, intellectual temperament, the habit of asking questions and of being interested in a wide variety of things and of being willing to break with old conventions. Fours contribute an appreciation of aesthetics and of the effect that ideas and discoveries have on people: feelings and unconscious processes are powerful and are not to be taken lightly.
Both types can be extremely creative and both love to share their findings with the other, making stimulating, wide-ranging conversation and open communication a hallmark of a Four/Five relationship, both in the intensity of their conversation and in the sincere interest they bring to their listening to each other. Each type usually brings a noteworthy sense of humor and love of the bizarre and the outlandish that can give their relationship a quirky and unique character all of its own. This is often because they both share an "outsider" status. Fives draw Fours out by showing them other worlds and other perspectives, with a depth that Fours like. Fours help Fives stay in contact with their personal self and feelings. They have a mutual tolerance for whatever the other comes up with and neither is easily shocked. They generally find each other stimulating and are tolerant of each other's idiosyncrasies. Both inspire creativity in the other and give permission to the other to be themselves and follow their own inspirations.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

The greatest area for discord in a Four/Five pairing is that Fours are emotional types and tend to push for more contact and intimacy, sometimes becoming overly demanding, whereas Fives are thinking types and tend to push for more detachment and space in the relationship, sometimes becoming more reclusive and private. Fours can experience Fives as being too intellectual and feel that Fives are analyzing them rather than sympathizing with their emotional needs and states. They can also feel that Fives are unavailable and detached, uncaring and unresponsive to their needs in their relationship. Fours feel they can also be impractical and take too long to respond when a situation calls for action.
On the other hand, Fives can see Fours as bottomless pits of emotional needs who drain their time and energy. Fives also feel that Fours' emotionality reflects a lack of rationality or is a sign of immaturity that seems potentially dangerous and out of control. Fours in the lower Levels do not seem safe because of their apparent instability. Fours tend to be easily frustrated with the quality of attention they get from Fives (since they can be preoccupied with their mental worlds, not with the relationship), thus they tend to provoke the Five until they get a response. Fours need to appreciate the minimalist emotional style of the Five, while Fives need to appreciate the Four's depth of feeling. Romantic relationships can get very intense quickly and combust. Usually, the Five retreats first, feeling overwhelmed by the Four's escalating needs and demands. Of course, the Five's withdrawal triggers more clinging and neediness in the Four, more demands, and more endless analysis of the relationship itself. Emotional florid reactions confronting emotional detachment and rational analysis quickly get to an impasse that may spiral into a breakup.

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• Type Five-Type Five

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Fives generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. To a Five, another Five is virtually his or her idea of the perfect companion: well informed, intellectually stimulating, independent, imaginative, quiet (unless it's about subjects of mutual interest), fact oriented (as opposed to being utterly emotional and subjective), non-intrusive, and always ready for a good debate or a good movie. Since they do not wish to be controlled in any way, or even for people to know too much about them, Fives give a great deal of personal and emotional space to each other. It may be weeks or even months before they both see the insides of each other's homes. They value tactfulness and would never knowingly put people on the spot for personal information or make personal demands on anyone for favors. Distance, respect, courtesy, good boundaries, few demands (and no expectations), are hallmarks of a double Five pairing. Of course, Fives can be curious about each other and their private lives, but there is a great deal of reticence to take the initiative where personal matters are at stake.
Some Fives are more forward socially but their experience is somewhat like the mating of shy and prickly animals: unless the other finds a way to hold on to the Five, the Five is soon off again. Two Fives, as a pair, they must learn quickly how to balance the independence they require with the degree of intimacy and personal sharing and self-disclosure required to establish a meaningful relationship. In most cases, this takes a while, although once Fives have found someone with whom they feel comfortable, they can become quickly (but still secretly) attached. Long silences and breaks are punctuated by intense bursts of communication. The meeting of minds does not have to be full of words.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Double Five pairing can suffer from over-intellectualizing their relationship, approaching each other analytically rather than as someone to be felt or identified with in a more emotional and subjective way. They also tend to compartmentalize their life together (just as they do their own lives), drawing boundaries around your world and my world. Both parties can begin to become secretive and to lead something of a double life, consciously withholding information about themselves and their activities from the other out of the fear of being engulfed by them, and from a deep-seated resistance to sharing themselves or merging with someone. Double Five pairs can also become argumentative and competitive, getting into a pattern of intellectual bickering over fine points and (ultimately trivial) details. But since intellectual prowess is so highly prized in Fives, there may be one or more areas in which competitiveness and intellectual showing off at the expense of the other begins to take place.
The main problem for most double Five pairs is too much emotional distance and reticence to express oneself which can erode intimacy. They each become too private and run the risk of becoming isolated from each other. They can deteriorate into a professional association connected by respect for the other's competency and other positive qualities, but any emotional connection may eventually get lost—if it ever was established in the first place. A kind of dryness and indifference about the possibility of finding a satisfactory rapport comes over them, and eventually even a final cutting off of all wanting of such a thing. Fives can drift apart, burying themselves ever more deeply in their work or their intellectual hobbies while still living together. Eventually, both Fives live without any hope or expectation that the other could break through to them, or that they would ever want to break out of their own detached shell. Couples such as this can deteriorate into eccentric recluses, cut off from themselves and from the world around them.

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• Type Five-Type Six

Both Enneagram Fives and Sixes are mental types, although there are significant differences. Both have respect for the intellectual acumen of the other and the expertise and technical mastery the other possesses. They may well begin a relationship as colleagues or by sharing the same professional area of interest which forms the basis for a friendship and eventually something more intimate. Both types respect detail, factual objectivity and accuracy, craftsmanship, and the ability to analyze situations without inserting personal opinions or biases. As a pair, Fives and Sixes can be highly effective in dealing with crises because both are attuned to danger and to bringing their expertise to solve problems.
Fives also offer emotional calm, detached objectivity, observational skills, an unusual and penetrating curiosity, and an unwillingness to settle for easy answers. Sixes bring strongly held values and ideas that make them less objective than Fives although they are more passionate. Their very emotional reactivity—including anxiety and fear-gives Sixes a more sympathetic, human quality. Sixes are more openly unsure of themselves and often look to authorities of some kind (including the Fives they trust) to give them guidance and advice. Fives tend to be surer of their ability to think for themselves and to entertain new ideas. Fives also tend to be more skeptical and rejecting of authority. Fives are accepting of Sixes' changing needs for independence with connection; they are also patient with the Six's vacillations. The devotion of Sixes and understated caring can break through the Five's tendency to isolate. Thus, Fives and Sixes, as a pair, tend to have a symbiotic intellectual relationship of doubt and decision, questions and answers, problems solved and problems discovered that can be endlessly stimulating. In any event, for a relationship between these two opposite head types to work, there must be a tested and unshakable trust between them: they may often come to different conclusions, but they at least know that their hearts and minds are in the right place.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

The potential trouble spots between Fives and Sixes have already been hinted at above. In short, Fives and Sixes tend to think in diametrically opposite ways and often are on the opposite side of the fence in their conclusions. There will be a good deal of intellectual and emotional tension between them, for better or worse. Sixes tend to look to precedents for guidance about how to proceed; they tend also to be more guided by rules and procedures and protocols, building their arguments and marshaling their facts meticulously, if sometimes ponderously, so that they can feel unassailable. Fives tend to take greater intellectual leaps of the imagination and to consider less or not at all what has been the received wisdom or common consensus of opinion.
Once trust and communication break down, Fives can begin to see Sixes as too conservative and indecisive in their thinking and actions. Sixes get nervous about making a mistake and do not want to be criticized (much less ostracized) for their efforts. They can seem to be prejudiced and not open minded, petty and political, playing favorites and trying to please authorities rather than seek the objective truth. To Sixes, Fives can seem excessively independent, unwilling and constitutionally unable to work within a system or group. Sixes feel that Fives are needlessly provocative and have useless, strange ideas that are impractical and a waste of time. Sixes want to build security by having something clear to believe in; Fives want to find the objective facts, whether or not it makes them feel secure. Fives do not need Sixes' discouraging wet blanket approach. Sixes do not need Fives' endlessly vivid imagination for darkness and catastrophe. Each can feed each other's sense of powerlessness and hopelessness. Fives can see Sixes as closed-minded drudges and fanatics, whereas Sixes see Fives as weird, isolated, and hopelessly impractical. As a pair, these are emotional opposites and tend to work better as professional colleagues than as intimates: one wants to put out fires, the other wants to play with matches.

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• Type Five-Type Seven

Since they are both thinking types, Enneagram Fives and Sevens both bring a lot of mental energy and appreciation for ideas to their relationship. Their approach is complementary and reciprocal—each one brings something that the other does not have. On the positive side, Fives bring depth, clarity of observation, insight into the objective state of affairs, independence and self-reliance, and often a wonderfully, off-beat, whimsical sense of humor. It almost goes without saying that they have quick minds and love knowledge and intellectual pursuits. Sevens bring quickness not only of mind but of spirit—ready to do almost anything at a moment's notice, from going to a movie to booking an around the world trip, from moving the furniture across the room to moving the home to another state. Sevens are independent, although they like to have a few people around to join in the fun and to add to the celebratory, happy feeling that they are always looking for in their lives. They tend to be generous and extravagant, optimistic, gregarious, and outgoing with strangers, often the life of the party.
Fives tend to be somewhat more frugal with money and resources, seldom spending much on themselves (unlike Sevens). Fives also tend to be private and taciturn around strangers, although they can be very funny once they get to know you and feel secure. Fives ground and deepen Sevens, giving them permission to take themselves and their interests more seriously, to focus their energies, and to stay with things until they pay off. Sevens get Fives to try new experiences and to make more social contacts. They may also run interference for Fives in social settings. Both like conversation and ideas and they love to explore new realms together. In short, this is a mixture of opposites with different attitudes about how to enjoy themselves and how to be fulfilled in the world. Fives say: "Life is short: don't expect too much." Sevens say: "Life is short: try it all." Both attitudes are true and can usefully balance the other.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Fives tend to minimize their needs and their expectations of life, particularly whenever they are under more stress. They tend to see things in terms of scarcity and of being personally unprepared to meet the demands of the world. The result is that as pressures on them increase, Fives tend to withdraw and detach emotionally from everyone around them, and ultimately, even from themselves. They become more reclusive, isolated, disembodied minds who are difficult to break through to, much less to engage in constructive action. This pattern is very difficult on Sevens for whom quick action and having multiple escape routes is the norm. As pressures increase on them, Sevens go into hyper-drive, going more places, doing more things, talking more, getting more advice, gossiping about their relationship problems, and possibly turning to substance abuse to control their mounting anxiety and sadness. These problems only make Fives withdraw further and become frightened of someone who they see as out of control.
In the lower Levels, Fives can see Sevens as too escapist, superficial, intrusive, and coarse. The Seven wants the Five to be more fun so that their experience will be more positive. Sevens embarrass Fives by being too effusive and glib. On the other hand, Sevens think Fives are cold and unresponsive. Conflicts with each other's style make both dig in their heels: Sevens become more demanding and pushy, whereas Fives become more withdrawn and uncooperative. Sevens may act out to get the Five's attention, but they may go too far causing Fives to close the door. A lack of trust and difficulty in finding a safe common ground to work out differences makes things worse as both types tend to take extreme, well-defended positions.

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• Type Five-Type Eight

These two types bring to each other complementary and reciprocal talents—just what the other needs but is not necessarily aware of. For instance, Enneagram Fives need to be more identified with their body and with their instinctive energy; they need to be more engaged with the practical world and to feel their own sense of power and capacity. They can learn these qualities from Eights. On the other hand, Eights need to be more thoughtful and aware of the impact of their actions on themselves and on their environment. They need to know more and to think of consequences more carefully before acting. Every action produces a reaction, and it is not necessarily the one that the Eight wants to happen. This kind of analytic foresight is something Eights can learn from Fives.

Besides these qualities, both Fives and Eights bring a common insistence on independence and non-interference from others. Both types are aware of boundaries and dislike intrusion. Both enjoy a good debate, and both admire someone who stands up for himself intellectually and/or physically. Both types feel like misfits and so they understand each other's emotional core, often in an unspoken way. Both types need personal space, but when they find each other, they can both show a surprising degree of need and vulnerability. They see the other person behind the defense, relating to each others' sense of dignity and hidden vulnerabilities. Both can be stoical toward their own suffering and unhappiness, with little or no self-pity. As a couple, they can bring power and depth, action and thoughtfulness, brilliance and brashness to their world. They are also the natural protectors and advisers of each other: Eights love to protect less tough Fives, and Fives help Eights recognize the subtleties for their plans and actions. These two types can therefore band together as a coalition of power and brains, a formidable combination.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Fives are not much in touch with their physical bodies—they identify with their minds and are indifferent to virtually all of the physical and practical goals that more earthy Eights have. Not wanting a house, a company, or a spouse are all sources of pride to average Fives who feel good about themselves when they can cut off from their needs and learn to do without. Eights, by contrast, take pride in their earthly conquests, whether socially, financially, sexually, or psychologically. Making their mark on their environment is a primary goal for Eights and they often use their physical stature and energy to intimidate people and enforce their will. Thus, the more insecure these two types become, the more they react in completely opposite ways: Fives shut down more completely, become more taciturn, secretive, and isolated, while Eights become more confrontational, threatening, and enraged.
The biggest problem is that in the lower Levels, these two separate physically from the other and any real communication ceases to take place. Lower functioning Fives tend to lose respect for anyone they judge to be irrational, destructive, and out of control. The storminess and threats of unhealthy Eights terrify Fives who must physically leave to feel safe. They know and will attack each other's vulnerabilities if sufficiently provoked—and both Fives and Eights tend to provoke each other as a way of protecting themselves. Both types are also sensitive to rejection and both tend to feel rejected easily. The Five's departure will trigger a strong rejection reaction in the Eight who will likely retaliate in any way that he or she can. An Eight's departure will trigger the Five's rejection feelings, but more likely with a collapse into cynicism and depression. Both can be extremely cynical, and the demise of their relationship only confirms their darkest opinions about the possibility of human beings living together.

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• Type Five-Type Nine

An Enneagram Five/Nine pair gives each other a great deal of personal and emotional space for activities and for doing things on their own. Neither one would hovers or intrudes on the other, although the capacity for a healthy emotional connection and interest in each other is still present. This pair is characterized by a sense of quiet, non-intrusiveness, spaciousness, and respect for each other's boundaries, work, and individuality. Nines are undemanding and uncritical. Nines are the more emotional of the two types, but even so, Nines do not always know what they are feeling or how to express themselves adequately. They appreciate the Five's ability to be curious about them and to draw them out of the kind of "inner fuzziness" that Nines can get into. Nines appreciate the Five's intellectual sharpness, ability to ask the right questions, to remember things, to be objective, and their patience. Fives appreciate Nine's warmth—and when there is a real personal or sexual connection between them—their nurturing qualities. Fives usually feel dry and cut off from emotional sustenance; if they find this in someone, it is likely to be a Nine who can offer unquestioned acceptance, sensual comfort, and tenderness. Nines often make Fives relax-deeply and completely, something Fives very much need.
Both types have an intellectual component and if they are more or less on an intellectual par with each other, they can be a powerful and stimulating couple: the pungent wit of the Five is softened by the droll understatement of the Nine. Both appreciate the irrational and the absurd, although Fives dig far deeper into the dark areas of life than Nines. This pair can be a case of two people initiating the other into very different world views: the idealism and the realism, the sunlight and the darkness both have a place here.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Tensions between Fives and Nines can begin to grow as a result of the very amount of space that each is willing and able to give the other. Both are highly aware of boundaries and of feeling pressured or intruded on by anyone, and so both tend to expect an unusual degree of independence from the other and to give a large degree of freedom to the other without being asked. For this reason, it is often difficult for Fives and Nines to take the initiative (to make a date, for instance) or to be decisive about calling on a regular basis, or even to know what their feelings are telling them about the other. There may well be a great deal of comfort and intellectual rapport, but one or both of the couple may be relatively cut off from their feelings so that they do not actually know how much they care for the other, or even if they are in love. Nines tend to be more emotionally available and fluid in this regard, liking and even idealizing the Five while they are together, but quickly forgetting those positive feelings when the person is away. Nines easily get into an out of sight, out of mind state where the other might as well not exist if they are not physically together. Nines can also idealize the other so much that when they get together, the Five cannot really live up to the image that the Nine has of them in their imagination. Fives, on the other hand, can become frustrated by the on again, off again attentions of the Nine and begin to become cynical and pessimistic about the relationship, analyzing the Nine and intellectually dissecting the relationship both as a defense from being hurt and as a way to express anger over their disappointment.
Both types can be disconnected from themselves and from the other, living in projections and imagination rather than seeing the other as they are. Work and solitary interests can take the Five's attention, and the pursuit of peace and more supportive relationships can draw the Nine away. Unless there is an intense reason to see each other frequently, the stubbornness, inertia, and autonomy issues of the Nine will mix with the withdrawal, detachment, and indifference of the Five and the relationship will wither away.

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That's it for Type Five.

[Tay92]

Thanks! I've been searching for this. :)