Is emotional development the same as Ghosts?
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This is a discussion on Can 5's ever get past excessive emotional retardation? within the Type 5 Forum - The Investigator forums, part of the Head Triad - Types 5,6,7 category; Is emotional development the same as Ghosts?...
Is emotional development the same as Ghosts?
Oh yes. Absolutely. Even on the simple level of how I watch shallow teen movies that I hate just because the level of superficiality and materialism fascinates me.Fives, on the other hand, are frequently attracted to what disturbs them
Definitely. I value feeling and ideals over logic, but that bothers me. Sometimes I wish it was the other way around.But, Fives, unlike Fours, always retain some degree of discomfort when it comes to the experience and expression of their emotional states. Fives tend to fear emotional overwhelm; Fours to welcome it.
Absolutely true. I can't believe how accurate this site is.Unhealthy Fives become overly enamored of their own systems of thought. They cut themselves off from the world and from human involvement.They become increasingly alienated, and even misanthropic. As they become more and more ungrounded, their thought systems take on a darker and darker tinge. Fives tend to be drawn to frankly nihilistic explanations of the world or to reductionist explanations, reductionism being a thinly veiled form of nihilism. (Nihilism without the Angst, so to speak.) When unhealthy, the tendency to filter experience through the lens of a favored theoretical framework is given free rein. In an expression of extreme and unbalanced intellectual arrogance, Fives attempt to reduce reality, in all its infinite and truly irreducible complexity, to a mere system of thought, and the human beings who inhabit it, to little more than feverish figments of their own over wrought imaginations. Fives in the grip of this process become increasingly argumentative, provocative and cynical.
Again, so true. A few months ago, I took the first step in bridging the gap for the first time ever. I hope that it's the first of many, because it really payed off.To compensate for their sensitivity, Fives sometimes adopt an attitude of careless indifference or intellectual arrogance, which generally has the unfortunate consequence of creating further distance between themselves and others. Trying to bridge the distance can be difficult for Fives, and others in the Five's life typically find themselves having to take the initiative in this regard. When the distance is bridged however, Fives can turn out to be surprisingly supportive as friends and passionate as lovers.
I can easily see a person being both a 5 with a four wing and an INFP. Compare the following two descriptions:Source: The Enneagram Blogspot: Type 5: Knowledge-Seeker5w4 - Seeking Knowledge and Identity
The difference between the 4 wing and the 6 wing in Fives is like the difference between Art and Science. 4 wing brings an abstract, intuitive cast of thought, as though the Five were thinking in geometric shapes instead of words or realistic images. May be talented artistically and inhabit moods like Fours do. Combine intellectual and emotional imagination. Enjoy the realm of philosophy and beautiful constructs of thought. The marriage of mental perspective and aesthetics is the best of life for them. When more defensive may seem a little ghostly, have a whisper in their voice. Fluctuate between impersonal withdrawal and bursts of friendly caring. Can get floaty and abstract. Act like they're inside a bubble, sometimes with an air of implicit superiority. Cliché of the "absentminded professor" applies especially to Fives with this wing. Environmentally sensitive and subject at times to total overwhelm. Touchy about criticism. Can be slow to recover from traumatic events. Melancholy isolation and bleak existential depression are possible pitfalls.
Problem areas for the INFP:Source: INFP Personal Growth
- May be extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism
- May perceive criticism where none was intended
- May have skewed or unrealistic ideas about reality
- May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their personal ideas and opinions
- May blame their problems on other people, seeing themselves as victims who are treated unfairly
- May have great anger, and show this anger with rash outpourings of bad temper
- May be unaware of appropriate social behavior
- May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress
- May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it
- May be unable to see or understand anyone else's point of view
- May value their own opinions and feelings far above others
- May be unaware of how their behavior affects others
- May be oblivious to other people's need
- May feel overwhelmed with tension and stress when someone expresses disagreement with the INFP, or disapproval of the INFP
- May develop strong judgments that are difficult to unseed against people who they perceive have been oppressive or suppressive to them
- Under great stress, may obsess about details that are unimportant to the big picture of things
- Under stress, may obsessively brood over a problem repeatedly
- May have unreasonable expectations of others
- May have difficulty maintaining close relationships, due to unreasonable expectations
I usually test as an INFP and, although I can see the negative traits in myself, the positive traits make me sound much more idealistic and Mother Teresa-ish than I really am.
People have said I'm a good listener, though, and the positive traits listed on that INFP page made me think of John Lennon who I've often seen typed as 5w4.
Ah, indeed that does seem to make sense when you compare the two descriptions. How interesting.
And I'm the same in regards to sounding a lot more idealistic than I am. Still I think that INFP's only lose that because they're exposed to reality one too many times xD
Not to say we're not idealistic anymore..we're just a little more realistic about things.
Ever since the one occasion where I fell for someone very hard, they reciprocated, but I misread their cues as being more serious than they actually meant, I've been very cautious when it comes to relationships. I've resolved to take every "cue" at face level. If you want a relationship with me, you'd probably have to shove it in my face, or I refuse to interpret it as a "cue". I have, I think, retreated into a shell, and it makes me feel so bloody weak.