Type Four Compatibility - Page 3

Type Four Compatibility

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This is a discussion on Type Four Compatibility within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; None of these compatibilities look particularly appetizing lol. According to this study, http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html (note the small sample size): Female 4s ...

  1. #21
    Type 6w5

    None of these compatibilities look particularly appetizing lol.
    According to this study, http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html (note the small sample size):
    Female 4s often go with Male 2s and 9s.
    Male 4s often go with Female 8s and 2s.

  2. #22
    Type 4

    I noticed mostly the type 4 and 5... Even though i'm a wing 5, my ex bf who was a 5 and i were like polar opposites in the emotion department. we went out for a year though, because we were both intellectual and had plenty to talk and laugh about. He was the sweetest guy, and loved the fact that i could notice his subtleties that nobody else did. I loved the fact that he always knew how to pull me out of my internal emotional spirals, even when i wasn't displaying them outwardly. The only thing was that i felt emotionally strved, and he felt emotionally overwhelmed. For either of us to be comfortable, the other had to be extremely uncomfortable.

  3. #23
    Type 4w5

    The only type I know for sure I have been with was another 4. BOY, was that some kind of implosion. *whew.. like honestly.. Beware of your mirrors in unhealthy levels; the description for that hits close to home for me. My emotions were emotion-fucked.

    The descriptions of 5, 6, 7, and 9 are attractive to me. I like contradictions most too, like a withdrawn type as an extrovert or thinking type as a feeler.

    It's nice seeing how being paired with different types brings out certain sides of you that resonates with each other. Makes me wonder if the type we end up with is the side of ourselves that we like being exposed to the most.
    Disfigurine, perfectcircle, Darkstar and 2 others thanked this post.

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  5. #24

    I never bothered trying to type people I've gone out with, but I know that aggressive (coming on strong) women seem to be the type that like me for some reason. As far as my type, I have no idea. I just go with the flow.

  6. #25

    Pretty sure my boyfriend is a nine, pretty much described our relationship. I draw him out and teach him to name emotions and get him talking. he told me, "I've never been as self-exposing as with you" and "You're more real than anyone else". He is totally validating of all emotional states, laughs and listens to me, and this lets me relax with him. Very chill relationship, lots of cuddling and doing small things for eachother, he makes me breakfast, I make him pictures. Spend lots of time together but respect that we each need a lot of space (infp and infj). Sometimes we are a just sit together and read couple. When we talk I try to get him talking but he litsens more than speaks. Part that rings most true, however, is the understanding without verabl communication-- we don't even have to talk and lots of communication is via physical touch, comfortable silence, or small actions. He's even commented, "I like I can just be with you and we don't have to talk and still understand eachother." So, interesting.
    How do they KNOW this stuff? Like, an enneagram study of massive scale?
    treeghost, doris88, Chas23 and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #26
    Type 4

    The biggest area of conflict between Fours and Nines is that each tends to react differently as stress increases: Fours become more emotionally volatile and demanding, while Nines become more disengaged and impossible to get through to. Fours can feel too unstable and dramatic, unpredictable and moody for Nines, while Nines can feel too unresponsive and emotionally inert, unsatisfying and uncommunicative for Fours.

    It's not a "potential trouble spot", it's a battlefield. During conflict situations I cry, he resents my crying, which makes me cry even more, which makes him resent my crying even more. Unfortunately, my Nine don't "enjoy the emotional storms and dramas that Fours occasionally get into, feeling that it adds spice to their life together". Even mock fights are making him irritated. And his oversensitivity makes it impossible to avoid conflict situations in the first place. Even if I'm angry at the weather, my Nine thinks it has something to do with him and blames me for treating him this way. I'm helpless, and so is he.
    Starflakes, Chas23, SophiaMarie and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #27

    I'm a male 4. This is for me (with a grain of salt):

    Familial and 'professional' relationships: With 9's is the hardest/ with 3's, 4's, 5's, and 6's the easiest.
    Romantic relationships: With 9's impossible / with 1's and 6's the hardest/ with 4's , 7's and 8's the easiest.
    Friendships: With 2's impossible / with 3's is hard / with 5 and 7 is the easiest.
    Types I tend to feel romantically attracted to (doesn't mean it will work out though) : 3's, 4's, 7's and 8's.

    Most people with stereotypical nine 'traits' are rarely attractive to me. I dislike it when people avoid conflicts and simplify just to avoid emotional, cognitive or social conflicts.
    Starflakes, sleeper, wk05 and 2 others thanked this post.

  9. #28

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey View Post
    • Type Four-Type Six

    Both Enneagram Fours and Sixes, have many natural affinities for each other, especially since both are highly emotional and often feel insecure around people. Both tend to strong, immediate feelings and to act on their unconscious hunches or intuitions. Sixes often misidentify themselves initially as Fours because of the traits that they actually have in common. These very traits can also be ones that they bring to the relationship, enabling them to have an unusual degree of empathy and tolerance for each other.
    In short, Fours and Sixes can bring to each other the feeling that they are kindred souls, connected by their feelings of abandonment and a certain distrust of others. They may feel like "orphans in the storm" who offer mutual support and reassurance. Rather than energize each other, when they are healthy, Fours and Sixes tend to support and stabilize each other, usually acting as a sounding board for worries and complaints that they feel they cannot air anywhere else.
    Fours bring sensitivity, sensuality, and the ability to express emotions openly, including the feelings that Sixes themselves do not know how to express. Fours talk about their inner lives—again, something that Sixes often need to learn. Sixes bring hard work, perseverance, practicality, loyalty, and concern with security to the relationship. They are also often warm and unpredictably playful and able to break through whatever gloom and self-absorption Fours may periodically fall into. Fours give Sixes the sense that they are needed—helping to give Sixes more confidence in their ability to cope with things. Sixes like being practical and they often provide Fours with a platform of some kind to develop their creativity as well as the time and support they may need to work through their emotional issues. This combination creates steadiness and daring, balance and the ability to fill in the gaps for each other both in their own development and in practical affairs.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    As noted above, both Fours and Sixes have issues with feelings of abandonment. Both types in the lower Levels tend to be emotionally reactive, critical of others, pessimistic, and can feel overwhelmed. While they may not often talk about it, they may test each other in various ways in an attempt to discover how loyal the other will be to them. Both types may also begin to subtly withdraw attention and affection from the other as a way of defending against the hurt of potential abandonment, should it occur. But in this, both types have a tendency to create a self-fulfilling prophesy in which their fears and reactions bring about the very thing they are consciously trying to avoid. Both types can become codependent, and their reliance on each other may not result in development for either: Fours do not automatically become more practical, and Sixes do not become more insightful about themselves.
    Another potential trouble spot for Fours and Sixes lies in the area of change and tolerance for change. Generally, Fours are more interested in self-exploration and self-development and they tend to be more adventuresome in their tastes and in what they allow themselves to think and to experience. Sixes tend to be more conservative and resistant to change and to personal exploration, making for potential conflict with Fours, who may feel that Sixes are holding them back and stifling their creativity and development. Both can be pessimistic and self-doubting, gloomy and mistrustful of others. The complaint that Fours typically have about Sixes is that they are not free-spirited and romantic enough, whereas the complaint of Sixes about Fours is that they are too undependable and act too much on whims and are not emotionally stable enough. Both types are reactive and conflicts can escalate quickly: misunderstandings can lead to projections and massive over-reactions.

    I found out one of my ex's is a Six. Its scary how accurate this is. lolololol We only split due to personal issues, nothing really related to the trouble issues you listed. Thanks for creating the thread! :) I should bookmark it once I get a better understanding of being a 4. :D

  10. #29

    Quote Originally Posted by VictoriaL View Post
    Thanks! this is really interesting
    i'm a type four and this really rings true with a lot of my relationships
    hey im a type 4 to im curious to which other type you liked most, 8 and 2 are our most compatible and i liked 8 a little more then 2 lol
    itselly thanked this post.

  11. #30

    i liked 8 over 2 anyone agree?

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