[Enneagram Type 4] Questions for 469 Tritype

Questions for 469 Tritype

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This is a discussion on Questions for 469 Tritype within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Hey there 469s, I've got a few questions for you regarding self-doubt, authenticity, and conformity. The reason I ask because ...

  1. #1
    Unknown

    Questions for 469 Tritype

    Hey there 469s, I've got a few questions for you regarding self-doubt, authenticity, and conformity. The reason I ask because I'm curious and would like to hear some perspectives, as it seems to me that 469s may possibly always find themselves "on the fence" between two opposing sides so to speak. With this internal struggle ongoing I would also love to hear about how you react to stressful situations as there are two reactive types in your tritype.

    1.) When your personal values are threatened, which situation would be more difficult to deal with and why? Asserting yourself within a group of friends/family OR amongst relative strangers such as coworkers, classmates, etc.

    2.) Do you ever doubt your own authenticity and does it really matter how unique you are in the eyes of others?

    3.) During extremely stressful situations have you ever lashed out at anyone? If so, how guilty were you afterwards? Were you more guilty about "making a scene" or "what you had just done"?
    Le9acyMuse and Dauntless thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 4

    @Slimblue

    1.) When your personal values are threatened, which situation would be more difficult to deal with and why? Asserting yourself within a group of friends/family OR amongst relative strangers such as coworkers, classmates, etc.
    The "asserting myself" is easier with them, but if family/friends are trampling on my values, that's obviously more difficult to deal with emotionally than if a stranger is doing it.

    2.) Do you ever doubt your own authenticity and does it really matter how unique you are in the eyes of others?
    I know I'm not like other people. I don't care about seeming "unique"; I care about being authentic. Being authentic is being unique.

    Do I doubt my own authenticity? Yep.

    3.) During extremely stressful situations have you ever lashed out at anyone? If so, how guilty were you afterwards? Were you more guilty about "making a scene" or "what you had just done"?
    Nope, never ever have lashed out at someone.

    ...I feel guilty about hurting people's feelings, if I have.
    Slimblue thanked this post.

  3. #3
    Type 4w3

    Quote Originally Posted by Slimblue View Post
    Hey there 469s, I've got a few questions for you regarding self-doubt, authenticity, and conformity. The reason I ask because I'm curious and would like to hear some perspectives, as it seems to me that 469s may possibly always find themselves "on the fence" between two opposing sides so to speak. With this internal struggle ongoing I would also love to hear about how you react to stressful situations as there are two reactive types in your tritype.
    Has meeting a 469 made you curious? Are we indecisive? Is that what you ask? Hm... Consistently in my life, I haven't had a problem knowing, or figuring out, my stances on issues. Expressing my beliefs self-satisfyingly has been the obstacle. I often feel caught between what I've witnessed, and applied, and how to communicate it (Intuitive blind spots). Unfortunately, I've long had a way of acquiring unpopular opinions. Needless to say, this position has made it more frustrating to word my ideas for many years. It can feel as if my ideas are constantly transitioning, due to my unconscious focus on experimental experience.

    I imagine 469s often have issues with believing they believe something (jumping from plan A to plan B to Plan C, and so on...). The 6 makes us work with life as it comes, to determine what we're willing to sacrifice for resiliency. The 4 makes us act with a purpose to appear extraordinary and aware. The 9 makes us hold ourselves back from being too aggressive, albeit while being very watchful of our territories.

    1.) When your personal values are threatened, which situation would be more difficult to deal with and why? Asserting yourself within a group of friends/family OR amongst relative strangers such as coworkers, classmates, etc.
    I'd suppose relative strangers. It can suck just as much trying to explain myself to friends that "don't get it," but when people wholly unfamiliar with my style somehow threaten my values, it feels more so like a gauntlet. I would assert myself just as well in either situation, long as the environment was civil. Like a 9, if I have 0 control over circumstances, I'll wait it out (while attempting diplomacy) 'til I no longer can. If there was a chance of violence, it depends on my mood if I do so or not. My weaknesses are loneliness and misunderstanding.

    2.) Do you ever doubt your own authenticity and does it really matter how unique you are in the eyes of others?
    As a 4, yes. Big time. My desire is to at least be effective and knowledgeable enough to be able to produce the truest form of my mind's renderings. I desire uniqueness and formidable head strength. I struggle often trying to hash and rehash my methods. Experimental experience of the 6 plays a huge role here. Anytime a method doesn't seem to work the same (which happens ALL the time...), I get deflated. But it's the process of building a strong foundation. It hurts, but it works.

    3.) During extremely stressful situations have you ever lashed out at anyone? If so, how guilty were you afterwards? Were you more guilty about "making a scene" or "what you had just done"?
    Yes. Sounds like the 9's area in me. Anytime I lash out, I have a good reason. I do not find it flattering or acceptable to intentionally harm anyone, physically or mentally, but I can lose my temper if someone stops trying to communicate without being accusatory, or derogatory. I try to coexist, and keep an eye on someone to be sure if they mean to harm me somehow. When it's obvious they're trying to hurt me, and won't reason, I get out of there. That, or it's "go time."

    Guilt? If I understand why I acted the way I did, and I feel I gave enough (usually too many) chances for peace, then no, but I always regret that things escalate. I try not to hate anyone, no matter what. If I feel guilt, it's because I feel I retaliated too soon, not giving enough chances. Usually, however, it's not the case. Don't get me started on when people try to make you feel guilty about some things due to mix ups.
    Slimblue thanked this post.

  4. #4
    Type 4w3

    @Slimblue I want to clarify for emphasis. lol Sorry..

    I should mention, being a 6-fix (especially 6w5) makes one use every bit of what has been experienced, for safety reasons. So, I can end up typing a lot due to it. ^ ^; As a 4, I hate coming off as didactic... Anyway, here's a decent depiction of 469.

    I actually have notorious problems with knowing exactly what is wrong about situations I'd found myself in. Even today, it can take a while to collect enough evidence from around me to solidify a coherent meaning, or reverse tactic, concerning what transpires (it helps to keep both vivid detail and broader schemes in my mind). However, I'd always know that something felt wrong, and the side I was on. The reasoning of 'why' just took more time than the "sense of a disturbance" always did.

    For instance, growing up, when I felt like I was wronged, yet didn't have immediate proof to anyone (even to the person who hurt me, who may not have realized how he/she/etcetera was wrong, and so took to believing he/she/etcetera was justified), I would scramble for the right things to say, to shed light. Usually it wouldn't go my way, and the right words to use wouldn't come until much later (reflecting). I always felt like something was wrong with me due to that.

    Feeling out of touch with what exactly is right or wrong apart from how we relate to others is a thing with the Heart triad, I think. Gaining proofs through experience is still 6. Seeking to be wise to cons without being unfair to others is still 9.

    As a 469, the main problem seems that while finding myself, I keep encountering stimuli and signals I've had no prior experience with, and I'm caught off guard (4). Once I experience encounters, I very gradually build a defense based on proofs, which strengthens over time (6). Then I can feel more capable of coordinating myself with others, treating and being treated well (9).
    Invidia and Slimblue thanked this post.

  5. #5
    Unknown

    @Le9acyMuse Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. I feel like I've gained a better understanding of how these three types combine to produce the "Seeker" tritype. I think this quote does a good job explaining atleast a small portion of the inherent dilemma occuring inside individuals of this tritype.

    Quote Originally Posted by Le9acyMuse View Post
    As a 469, the main problem seems that while finding myself, I keep encountering stimuli and signals I've had no prior experience with, and I'm caught off guard (4). Once I experience encounters, I very gradually build a defense based on proofs, which strengthens over time (6). Then I can feel more capable of coordinating myself with others, treating and being treated well (9).
    Also, you asked me earlier whether or not it was meeting a 469 irl that made me curious. Well, one individual I know certainly comes to mind that may have this tritype (perhaps phobic 6w7 leading) but I am more interested in the "internal dynamics" so to speak between all tritypes, not only this particular one. I suppose the best way to get some insight is to ask people personally instead or reading tritype descriptions.
    Le9acyMuse and AverOblivious thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Old post, but I thought I'd give my input anyway

    1.) When your personal values are threatened, which situation would be more difficult to deal with and why? Asserting yourself within a group of friends/family OR amongst relative strangers such as coworkers, classmates, etc.


    Whenever I get closer to someone I become much more comfortable telling them exactly how I feel about something if I feel strongly about it. I would be much more comfortable saying something to friends or family because I believe I deserve to have my opinion heard if they care about me. Why should I push my values onto strangers or people I'm never in an intimate environment with? I don't have nearly enough charisma or charm to try to change a strangers opinion. And if not trying to change it, what effect will that have besides causing an argument? It seems much easier to keep quiet and change the subject even if it makes me uncomfortable. I usually have no interest in arguing with strangers unless I'm in an environment I feel really comfortable in

    2.) Do you ever doubt your own authenticity and does it really matter how unique you are in the eyes of others?

    I consider my authenticity to be what I show to others and my actions. No, I don't doubt my own authenticity as a person. I show on the outside only what I am very sure of. Inwardly it is a battle for solid ground. I am constantly thinking about why people do what they do, and I can be so empathetic towards others' feelings that it is a struggle to take a stance on a lot of things because people do things for various reasons and I understand that. I know that some things are universally right and wrong. But I deal with a lot of idealism from myself and having grown up with an extremely idealistic christian mother makes my views on things skewed in my opinion. As I am growing older it is getting easier to have solid opinions but I am always considering the views of others and it always makes me unsure of myself.
    As for being unique, I know deep down that I'm not a unique snowflake but I do get anxiety at the thought of coming off as boring, uninteresting, average, easily overlooked, etc. It doesn't *really* matter but it makes me feel more confident if someone admires me.



    3.) During extremely stressful situations have you ever lashed out at anyone? If so, how guilty were you afterwards? Were you more guilty about "making a scene" or "what you had just done"?

    I don't get angry unless I have a good reason or if someone is antagonizing me, so I don't usually feel guilty about it. I would feel guilty if say, the person didn't realize they were being annoying and stressing me out and I seemingly for no reason started acting bitchy, but that's because I don't want to come off that way and am afraid of hurting people's feelings if they don't deserve it. If they do, beware of the hellfire I will put out haha but rarely does that happen

  7. #7

    1.) When your personal values are threatened, which situation would be more difficult to deal with and why? Asserting yourself within a group of friends/family OR amongst relative strangers such as coworkers, classmates, etc.

    Work is the WORST. Office politics make me hate life. My ESFJ boss is a straight micromanager that wants me to be like her, and I WILL NOT. But I am the very best of my work group, regardless of how I try to hide, so she tortures me mercilessly. I just try to evade her and pray for the day when I am free of her authoritarian domination.

    No issues on the personal side, I am happy to report.

    2.) Do you ever doubt your own authenticity and does it really matter how unique you are in the eyes of others?

    NO, and YES!

    3.) During extremely stressful situations have you ever lashed out at anyone? If so, how guilty were you afterwards? Were you more guilty about "making a scene" or "what you had just done"?

    Yes, to my sorrow. INFJs and anger are not a good mix, I never feel proud of losing self-control, and the guilt from sending more negativity out in a world that is plagued with it is definitively something I am never proud of.

    I know better than to lose it, and am ashamed of my self when I do. Nothing justifies it but protecting those that cannot do so for themselves, and then when that happens, I will make every scene under the sun, and not give a flying...well, you know what.


 

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