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This is a discussion on Crying within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Originally Posted by Sayonara ...I am sorry to hear you have experienced such disgusting care. Yes chronic pain tends to ...
The doctors I've dealt with are incompetent, did not know their facts (I had to correct them several times), and may or may not have been greedy. But I can't help but think that those who treat patients like dirt are probably in the profession for money or status. If not that, then they've become disillusioned with their profession or the health care system in general, and then take their resentment out on patients. And that is the wrong way to deal with their resentment (i.e. providing poor patient care).
This is getting off topic, though, so this is my last post on the issue. Back to topic at hand.
A few times I have cried over how deeply someone close has hurt me or how deeply I have hurt someone close.
Primary causes: the death of people I know and love, and military service/sacrifice.What compels you to cry?
At funerals and military service/sacrifice events. Crying for me usually involves tears streaming down my face, which is fixed in a stone-like expression. I do not scrunch up or squint when I cry.Do you ever cry in front of other people?
Sobbing is out of the question. Haven't done it, never plan to.
Depends on their reasons. Some people cry and it's so self-pitying that I want to slap them. I usually have to leave the room. Others cry because they are truly, deeply hurt. In which case, I want to take up arms and destroy whatever it is that's injured them.What would you think if someone cried in front of you? (I don't mean feeling like you want to cry, but actual tears coming down your face, crying)
Usually, though, I'm just an awkward mess of words when people cry. I can't rampage off and solve their problems, so I'm stuck holding them saying words of comfort.
How often (if ever) do you cry?
What compels you to cry?
1. Unbearable grief, that has been repressed for months or years, suddenly rebelling against said repression.
2. Kindness. If someone treats me badly, I can overlook it given it's a minor slight. If it's major, the offender will regret it. No tears for this crap. But, sudden or unexpected or overwhelming show of kindness can move me. I hate feeling emotionally touched, but it can happen. If were alone, I'd cry. In case I have company, my face becomes stony, cold and (more) expressionless. I will hold back the tears until I am alone.
Do you ever cry in front of other people?
It has happened, but no one found out. I am not comfortable making a public display of my emotions. So, even if I do get teary at a funeral (young person's funeral or unexpected demise..other than that I treat funerals pretty casually), I just get teary and silent. There's no sobbing involved.
What would you think if someone cried in front of you? (I don't mean feeling like you want to cry, but actual tears coming down your face, crying)
Well, it depends on who they are. If I know they prefer demonstrative ways of expressing support(and/or if I am close to them), I'll give them a hug and offer to listen. If there's anything I can provide monetarily or otherwise, I'll do so.
I am a good listener. I let people cry away and talk about what's hurting them. If they're not the kinds who seem/are comfortable with hugs etc. (and/or I don't know them well), I will offer to listen Again, I'll be open to providing any kind of practical help. I am better at practical stuff than emotional support.
A complete stranger, recently, turned around, hugged me and burst out crying at a religious place of worship. I just let her cry. I felt her grief, but I had no words to comfort her. She was comforted by the mere fact that a stranger had validated her by treating her emotional state with respect. I offered to listen, as usual. But, words didn't do justice to her pain. She cried. I gave her some water, treated her respectfully. We parted ways.
mpobrien answered it very well. For me, another reason is crying exposes the uglier side of my life...it makes it look like my life isn't together. When people see all the turbulence going on beneath the surface, I feel it sort of tarnishes my image of someone who is happy, well-adjusted, and successful. If my life is so messed up I'm crying in a public place (since this is sort of frowned upon in society, even moreso if you're male)...well, you get the idea. (Not that I think judging people who cry in public is good - that's just my kneejerk emotional reaction to it, my own personal hangup about it, whether I'm justified or not). Again, it all comes back to the 3-ish image thing.
My sister, a 3w2, often gets very irritated easily. This sometimes leads her to cry. Is anger leading to crying common among 3w2s? I once considered her a 3w4 because she can be very dramatic like I can be when I am very frustrated or sad. But reading the 3w2 sounds more like her in terms of her socialness...but I will continue to look into it later.
Anyways, just wanna know, if this is an enneagram thing at all? When do 3w2s get angry? What things make them upset?
She is struggling with multiple commitments at the moment, a very active and demanding school club as well as tough college courses...so it most likely is stress and perhaps her feeling inadequate at meeting all these challenges. That is what I am thinking at the moment. All those commitments on her time must be very stressful for a 3.
But it is really beautiful when kindness makes me cry. It is probably more common than any other reason for me to cry irl. The only times I can even remember crying outside of that context in the last ten years are when my computer ate my novel and all the associated files (I cried in public that time which is anathema to me) .... when I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years (cried in private for that one, but by the time I was done with my lake walk and little crying session I never thought about him again really, and moved on), and during really sad scenes in movies. I've also cried recently because of the kindness and emotions which someone very beautiful on this forum was kind enough to share with me. ;)