[Popinjay]

I am an ISFP three with no wing. I am sure about it. A weakness I have is that I worry a lot about what other people think about me. I'm very image conscious. I think I've fought really hard against being that way, but it's the way I still am. Realizing that was what actually made me realize I was actually a 3. I tend to be a people pleaser sometimes and get caught up in ideal images I envision for myself. And also I take being image minded really literally in that I really enjoy images, like looking at art and fashion. My step-dad is an ISTP three and is very visual and mechanical with the kind of work he does. I was thinking that for threes being an image seeker can be very literal. (I'm just making a guess.)

I relate to everything you said...except the lack of a wing. You are either a 3w4 or a 3w2.



I'm a 3w4. I find the 4 comes into play in my desire for uniqueness...my strong distaste for blending in to the crowd, conforming, or fitting in. I really like to stand out although, paradoxically, I'm an introvert who hates being the center of attention.

There are 3w2's on here who could explain when the 2 comes into play for them. I'd probably get it wrong if I tried.

[Winifred]

I relate to everything you said...except the lack of a wing. You are either a 3w4 or a 3w2.

@Popinjay Does everyone have a wing? I guess I'm not familiar enough with the Enneagram to really know actually.

[Popinjay]

@Popinjay Does everyone have a wing? I guess I'm not familiar enough with the Enneagram to really know actually.

Yes. Everyone has a dominant type in one of the three centers (head 5-6-7, heart 2-3-4, gut 8-9-1) and everyone has a dominant type overall. So, in my case, my tritype is 358 but the 3 is the dominant type. Theoretically, it goes around the Enneagram in clockwise order through the other two centers, so 5 would be next and 8 would be last, for me...although I think I'm 8 more than 5 (ignore the man behind the curtain...he's speaking gibberish).

There are also three instinctual variants:

sx = sex
sp = self-preservation
so = social

Instinctual variants

Mine is sx/sp...which just means I'm primarily sx and secondarily sp. I'm also so but it's a distant third. People only say the first two normally because the third is usually pretty limited. I'm not so...at all...LOL.

[Winifred]

@Popinjay--Thanks for the information! I just wasn't sure. I can tell I'm a 3w4 rather than a 3w2. And my variants are sx/sp, too.

[Winifred]

@Popinjay--I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question? As far as I know there are no other isfp three's on this site. I haven't seen any. Since we have the exact same enneagram, I'm curious what mbti type you are and how you think it interacts with your enneagram?

@Nymma Have you confirmed your real type? Are you a 3w4?

[Popinjay]

@Popinjay--I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question? As far as I know there are no other isfp three's on this site. I haven't seen any. Since we have the exact same enneagram, I'm curious what mbti type you are and how you think it interacts with your enneagram?

INTJ and I work in I.T. The 3w4 type is a bit less concerned with physical appearance than with professional appearance (i.e. my competence as visibly demonstrated to others in my job functions and big projects).

[Nymma]

@Nymma Have you confirmed your real type? Are you a 3w4?

Yes. I was a bit torned between 1w9 and 3w4 for a while, but I've realized that I can't be anything else than a 3w4. My biggest fear is not having personal signifiance, and to me personal significance means being the best in some chosen areas, like uniqueness(I have the need to surpass everyone's uniqueness and creativity), writing, literary analysis, etc. My self-esteem is built entirely on my talents, and how much originality they lead to.

I have the competitive mindset of 3s, the competency issues of the 3, the need to perform of the 3, the need for recognition(although in my case that means more recognition from myself, I still like others to validate my talents). I behave like a 3w4 when in relationships, am more self-oriented than relationship-oriented...I have a very heavy 4wing, which means that I have 3 vs. 4 wars inside, particularly authenticity vs. succeeding...

I am more sensitive, withdrawn and lazy than the typical 3w4, but in my defense, I have disintegrated to 9, paralysed by the idea of failure and not wanting to try to avoid it. Being an hypersensitive INFP 3w4 is a though combination. While superficially I amy appear to be more like a 4w3, at heart I need to become outstanding more than anything else, which makes me 3w4. The core motivations, fears and needs fit, the inner pattern fits, behaviors fit, at least at the levels of health I have been into...

The only things that don't fit are the habits of cutting corners(against my values), and the materialism (but that's just a stereotype...not everyone defines success in the same way.) At first, I rejected 3 because the type was in the assertive triad. But then I researched what it meant specifically for type 3, and I actually really related to it. (Means more along the lines of asserting one's talent and doing what must be done to reach goals instead of aggression).

I didn't relate to the supposed lack of morality and genuiness of a 3, but then I realized it was just another dumb stereotype of really unealthy 3s. And anyway even in my unealthy times I wouldn't have been able to loose my genuiness and morality because I grew up in a family where authenticity, honesty and morality was valued above anything else. It was a very one-ish environnement... (Since average 3s are driven to become the model of what their family values...)

So yes, I am definitly a 3w4. An atypical one, but a 3w4 all the same.

[Winifred]

I've been reading more about two's, and now I am thinking I am a 3w2 rather than 3w4. It started with realizing how clingy I am, and that sometimes I do take pride in my own goodness. After that information just poured in about how 2 like I am. I just rejected being a 3w2 because they are supposed to be really good with people, and I don't relate to that. But I am quite clingy and dependent on other people, which I've really tried to fight against. It makes me realize why all my fighting didn't work very well. I just never felt very independent. The two part fits in more with the "nice and sweet" isfp image which does fit with the way I appear to others a lot. I still relate very strongly to 3 though as my main type even though I appear more like a two to others. I define myself more around my ambitions than of being of service to others. And after thinking about my variants more I think they are sx/so. Just an update!

[KindOfBlue06]

I talked with some people who know alot about the Enneagram. They came to the conclusion that I wasn't a 5w4 afterall but instead a 3w4. After reading the description and looking more carefully at the enneagram, I'd have to concur with them. Also, I'm an INFP which I guess is a pretty rare thing INFP 3w4 that is.

Anyways, @Nymma are 3w4s often mistyped as 5w4s, do you know? Perhaps I should retake the test also.

[Nymma]

I talked with some people who know alot about the Enneagram. They came to the conclusion that I wasn't a 5w4 afterall but instead a 3w4. After reading the description and looking more carefully at the enneagram, I'd have to concur with them. Also, I'm an INFP which I guess is a pretty rare thing INFP 3w4 that is.

Anyways, @Nymma are 3w4s often mistyped as 5w4s, do you know? Perhaps I should retake the test also.

Don't bother taking/retaking any test; people rarely type as their true enneagram The tests are flawed, focused on stereotypes. I always type as 4w5, and occasionally as a 5w4. Yet my core is undeniably 3w4.

Some 3s mistype as 1s or 5s because all three types belong in the competency triad:

The Harmonic Groups

The 1-3-5 Harmonic Pattern: The Competency Group
These three types also have issues related to working within the confines of a structure or a system. (“How do I function within a system? Can I use it to my advantage? Will it hamper me from doing what I want to do?”) The types’ attitude toward systems evolved from their relationship with their families. These types are not sure how much they want to give themselves over to the values of the system, and how much they want to withhold themselves from it. Ones operate inside the rules, following them so well that no one would dare question their integrity. By contrast, Fives tend to operate outside of the rules. Threes want to play it both ways, having the benefit of the rules and structures while not having the restrictions.

Main Themes of the COMPETENCY GROUP TypeEmphasizesManages FeelingsRelates To System ONE Being correct, or-
ganized, and sen-
sible. They focus on standards, improv-
ing themselves, and knowing the rules.

By repression and denial. Feelings are channeled into act-
ivity, getting things done perfectly. Feelings also held as physical rigidity in the body. Ones want to work with the system. They try to be a “good boy or girl,” and are irritated with people who disregard the rules. THREE Being efficient, cap-
able, and outstand-
ing. They focus on goals, being prag-
matic, and knowing how to present self.

By repression and keeping attention on tasks, staying active. Achievement offsets painful feel-
ings. Threes look to others for feeling cues. Threes want to work with the sys-
tem but also like being outside of it
—bending rules and finding “short-
cuts.” FIVE Being the expert and having deep information. They focus on the pro-
cess, objective facts, and on main-
taining clarity and detachment.

By splitting off and abstracting feel-
ings, Fives stay preoccupied and cerebral, as if their feelings were hap-
pening to someone else. Fives reject the system and want to work on their own, outside of it. They have little patience with rules or procedures. Common Traits of the Competency Group
THREES
(Are like…)
ONES (Both can be…)

idealistic, goal-oriented, altruistic, strive for excellence, realistic, pragmatic, perfectionistic, self-controlled, angry, hostile, use denial as a defense, and workaholism.

FIVES (Both can be…)


thinking types, intellectual, organized, efficient, high achievers, technical, analytic, can work alone, observe others without revealing themselves, secretive, knowledge as power, arrogant, intimacy issues, argumentative.

In this forum, most people who mistype as 5s are 9s. ( 6s as 4s, 3 & 6 as 8s, etc...). In my case, I mistyped for a year as a 4w5, before it was pointed out that 3w4 was more likely. Since then I jungled with 3w4, 4wx, 1w9 and 5w4. It was not until a few months ago that I made a final decision-3w4. Now that I more enneagram knowledgeable, I see so much 3ness when I reflect on my life that it makes me wonder why I ever thought I was something else.

How did you conclude you were a 3w4? Could you show me the thread in which your type was discussed? I would very much like to see what ressemblances I can find between you and I--given that we both share the enneagram AND MBTI types.

If you could answer the following question, I would appreciate it:

How do you differ from other INFPs? (IRL and/or in this site?) Most INFPs are 4s, 6s or 9s so I imagine an INFP 3w4 would stand out in some ways. What do you notice about yourself that other INFPs seem to lack or vice versa?