Type Two Compatibility


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This is a discussion on Type Two Compatibility within the Type 2 Forum - The Helper forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Type Two-Type One Enneagram Ones and Twos are a complementary couple since both offer the other the example of their ...

  1. #1
    Type 8

    Type Two Compatibility

    • Type Two-Type One

    Enneagram Ones and Twos are a complementary couple since both offer the other the example of their own qualities. Both types are highly dutiful and are attracted to service roles and occupations: both may be teachers, ministers, or health care workers who have long hours and many responsibilities. One and Two couples are often professionals whose work takes them out of the house and requires the focus of their attention to be on the needs of others, not on the relationship itself or even on themselves personally. People in this kind of relationship are often unusually mature and independent and able to obtain their emotional needs from a variety of people and connections, including their professional ones. They bring high ideals, strong ethical standards, and the desire to serve others to the relationship itself, keeping the relationship strong and in touch with solid values and practical perspectives.
    The relationship is built around shared values: both are on a path of some kind together. Twos bring the nurturing and feelings that Ones do not easily allow themselves: they help Ones soften and relax. On the other hand, Ones bring integrity, conscientiousness, responsibility, and consistency. They are steady, reliable, and truthful. Ones commit strongly which makes the Two feel secure and that they won't be abandoned. Further, Twos bring warmth, a concern with people and a willingness to make exceptions to the rule for individuals in need. They are aware of suffering and work hard and generously to alleviate it wherever they can. Twos are more convivial and welcoming than Ones and can warm up the One's more typically reserved exterior—which most Ones are glad to have happen.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    For as concerned about the needs of others as Ones and Twos are, ironically, they tend not to be very aware of their own needs or able to express them easily. Ones feel that life is serious business and that work must always come before play; the lower impulses of the self must be held tightly in check. Twos feel that they must take care of everyone else's needs before they are allowed to have needs themselves. Life is about serving others and making themselves useful to so that others will need them and want them in their lives. Both Ones and Twos, therefore, find it difficult to talk about what they are actually feeling, what is actually going on in the relationship, and what they actually want. In this kind of relationship, there are often ulterior motives and unstated agendas, with no one able to admit that they are not getting what they want—much less that they might not be happy or fulfilled. For both, getting what they want feels selfish and forbidden. Ones can begin to feel disappointed by the Two's tendency to give so much of themselves to others and to be so unregulated regarding time and attention. Twos can seem to Ones to be everywhere else serving on yet another committee or charitable group but in the home or at their job, fulfilling their primary responsibilities.
    On the other hand, Twos can see Ones as too impersonal and unconcerned with others, not sympathetic or charitable enough. They can begin to be disappointed in the reality of the One's idealism, thinking that Ones may love humanity but have little real compassion for real people. Ones can be uncomfortable with the Two's effusiveness and need for contact; Twos can be uncomfortable with the One's sarcasm and irritability. Both will simmer with anger that will slowly but inexorably, lead to escalating arguments. Both can begin to become condemnatory and critical of the other as the relationship drifts apart.

    [Source]


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  2. #2
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Two

    As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Twos bring many of the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Healthy Two couples bring a high level of warmth, affection, and sensitivity to each other. They are genuinely concerned about the welfare of their partner and of the relationship itself, and they are willing and able to put out a considerable amount of energy to make sure that all is well. A double Two pair has a high level of communication and checking in between them: two Twos would have no problem discussing how they feel, inquiring about the other's health, about how things are going at work, and so forth. They would also be delighted to help support the efforts of their partner in whatever ways they could. Both individually and as a couple, they are thoughtful, observant of people's needs, generous and respectful of boundaries and the need of others to be independent and to learn things on their own. Healthy Two couples can express enormous affection for others, while at the same time, letting them go appropriately. They also can find a balance between themselves as a couple and each of them as an individual.
    Interestingly, since neither is used to being nurtured by someone else, they generally need to learn to allow themselves to be loved and helped by the other. If each of the Twos can take in the support of the other, the relationship can become a source of deep love and abundance from which they are able to more fully move out into the world. They feel secure and are loyal to each other, knowing that their partner is their for them. At their best, this is a loving, warm-hearted couple that uses the security of their relationship to raise a family, adopt children, and make the world a richer, more loving place. They reach out to others and build a family of choice, a home that others truly want to be a part of.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    A couple in which both people are so feeling-oriented may make better friends and work associates than they do intimate partners. The reason is that both are concerned with questions of value and self-worth, identity and gaining validation from others. Their particular set of emotional needs can make this pair more prone toward secret jealousy and competition with each other about who is more loved, who is the center of attention, or who is being sought out more frequently for advice or for social events, and so forth. In some double Two couples, whether males or females, they will be aware of how people respond to them physically and sexually. Different forms of charm to outright displays of sexual prowess will be part of the picture, although this will get in the way of a satisfactory exclusive intimate relationship.
    Some Twos will attempt to solve this problem by going in the opposite direction by beginning not to care about what they look like. They may not exercise and gain excessive weight, for example, or not dress or groom themselves sufficiently. A double Two may begin to find their emotional consolations elsewhere, seeking intimacy with others or, if that is not possible, with food. If this continues, they may gradually lose all physical interest in each other and the relationship would suffer from loss of contact and physical intimacy. If health issues subsequently become a problem (due to overeating as a compensation for emotional deprivations) the physically healthier Two will inevitably feel held back by the needier partner. Or both Twos could deteriorate into a sickbed centered relationship in which their illnesses and their complaints about them are what hold the couple together. They may both develop boundary problems and get overly enmeshed with each other—or, just as likely, become repulsed by the other's hovering. The worse this gets, ironically, the more isolated and lonely they become. Depression and blaming the other are often part of the picture.

    [Source]
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  3. #3
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Three

    Both Enneagram Twos and Threes are driven by their feelings and emotional needs-although this is not always apparent in the case of Threes. Both are also driven by their need for attention and the desire to be loved-although this is not always apparent in the case of Twos. But for these reasons, both are oriented toward people and toward activities that will place them in the spotlight. This makes the Two/Three couple one of the most interpersonally attractive and impactful pairings possible. Individually and collectively, they are outgoing, sociable, high-spirited, charming, and often physically attractive. Both know how to make a favorable impression on people and to win them over. Each type brings energy, personal and social ambition, the ability to communicate with people and to make others feel like they are the center of attention. Both know how to get people to like them and to rally support to achieve their goals. Twos in particular bring a more personal, individual focus to their interactions with others. They are thoughtful and follow up exchanges with genuine kindness and compassion. Threes bring flexibility, charm, practicality, and a goal-oriented vision for ways the couple can improve. Twos like to feel proud of their loved ones, and Threes want to make their partner proud.
    There is also a particular way that this pairing works as a team: Twos like to put the spotlight on others, and Threes like to be in the spotlight. Twos like to be the power behind the throne, and Threes can be happy being the point person for the couple. As long as healthy Threes appreciate the lavish attention of the Two, this arrangement can work well. In a sense, this is almost an ideal political couple—socially adept, energetic, virtually radiating charm and self-confidence, inviting others (by their manner and attractiveness) to join them in some way. Twos and Threes can be dazzling—a couple so widely admired and socially gifted that they become icons for their social sphere and time.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    A couple with such conscious star power also tends to be self-conscious—and even more conscious of each other. Twos get jealous and possessive of Threes. They can fall into a "I made you—you owe me" syndrome, feeling used and unappreciated. For all of their apparent willingness to take second place, Twos want to be recognized privately by their partners and to be made to feel that they are important. But Threes typically find it difficult to thank others for their success or to share the glory. Moreover, Threes may feel that Twos overestimate their contributions: they take credit for too much, sometimes, embarrassingly, in public. As a result, Twos can start to undermine the Three's confidence to get the Three to feel that he or she depends on the Two. Threes react quickly and strongly to perceived criticism and potential humiliation by distancing themselves—inevitably creating more anxiety and manipulation in the Two, a vicious cycle.
    Part of the problem is that both have underlying feelings of shame and vulnerability and they know each other's weak spots and can play on them when they have to. Furthermore, potential conflicts can arise because neither Twos nor Threes are particularly introspective nor are they very interested in their own underlying motives. They simply assume that they are traveling in the same direction—toward increasing success and social validation-only to realize that they have drifted apart and may actually be at loggerheads with each other. Twos fundamentally feel that Threes put work and career before them, their children and home life, primary values for Twos. They feel that Threes are too focused on success and that they are missing the really valuable things in life. Threes, on the other hand, can feel stifled by the Two's insistence on the need to spend time together. Threes feel Twos are smothering and emotionally manipulative, making them feel guilty for working hard and making the most of themselves. Intimacy deteriorates into bickering, and what it means to have a successful relationship becomes a real question. Disdain for each other can erupt into open hostilities.

    [Source]

  4. #4
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Four

    This can be a very warm, even passionate, couple when both parties continue to share their feelings openly together. Both are seeking warmth and connection, and both are willing to provide it when they are healthy. Hence, once they have gotten over the initial hurdles of intimacy, Enneagram Twos and Fours can be a safe place for each to share their hopes, fears, and insecurities. They can be good medicine for each other: Twos contribute sociability and energy, giving Fours the confidence to interact more easily with others. Twos are warm, outgoing, thoughtful and considerate, generous, and encouraging. Twos are also practical and action-oriented, willing to pitch in where needed and to do the things that need to be done, no matter how unpleasant or unglamorous.
    To this mix, Fours bring creativity, a sense of humor, a willingness to laugh at human foibles, and emotional honesty. They see their own craziness and their own falseness and they do not try to varnish the truth of their quirks from themselves or from the Two. Fours also bring a sense of beauty and of subtlety into the relationship: they care about how things impact on themselves and others, and so they go out of their way to arrange their world to be more aesthetically pleasing, allowing the Two to feel more relaxed and nurtured. Fours also bring emotional depth and sensitivity to their relationships, a sense of mystery and unpredictability, sensuality and sexual freedom. In short, Fours invite Twos to take a closer look at their deeper needs, the truth of who they are and what they actually feel. Twos appreciate the subtleties and nuances that Fours bring, and Fours thrive in this atmosphere of appreciation. They can lighten up each other with unexpected humor and appreciation of each others' quirks. Each invites the other to mature emotionally, usually without saying so. Both help the other to stop being so concerned about what others think of them and to become more inner-directed.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    Usually Twos and Fours make better friends and colleagues than intimates. Surprisingly, this pairing is rare in intimate relationships. One would think that they would be a natural fit with each other: the rescuer (Two) and the rescued (Four), the lost child and the parental figure. The problem is that there can be too much emotionality and unspoken demands in this pairing for their own good. Twos and Fours tend to have many emotional issues in common-which allows them to understand each other readily while also laying the groundwork for potential problems and conflicts. They both need closeness and intimacy and tend to cling to anyone who responds to them sufficiently. Over the long term, there is the tendency to become competitive for attention or for one person to feel better liked and more appreciated than the other.
    Moreover, Twos tend to find Fours too moody and temperamental, led too much by their feelings and unconscious impulses. They also see Fours as hypersensitive and self-absorbed—and not interested enough in others or their welfare. Fours tend to find Twos to be too saccharine and artificially upbeat, flattering and insincere to get close to people and to feel needed. Fours see Twos as secretly emotionally needy, desperate for others to like them and seek them out. They can see the Two's helpfulness as little more than an attempt to bribe people for love, which Fours disdain. Fours might begin to be secretly envious of the Twos social abilities and the kinds of positive reactions Twos generally get from people. Fours can begin to feel socially inept and overshadowed by the charm and popularity of Twos. Secret shame and the feeling of worthlessness of the part of both can begin to undermine the relationship. It can founder on Fours' feelings of abandonment if the Two becomes involved with others. It can also founder on Twos' increasingly feeling unappreciated by the Four. Both begin to see the other as too emotionally needy—and ultimately as more demanding than each wishes to put effort into.

    [Source]

  5. #5
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Five

    Enneagram Twos and Fives are double opposites, as it were—a people person versus a loner, a feeling type with a thinking type. Twos and Fives come from different points of view on what is important in life and in a relationship. And yet, because they are so different, there can also be an intense attraction to the mystery of the other. Twos and Fives are a more common pairing than might be expected: Twos can see Fives as challenges—distant, mentally preoccupied, not giving many outward signals, and difficult to charm easily because they are so private. It is hard to know what pleases Fives which makes Twos only try harder. Twos bring to the relationship a willingness to take the initiative and to pursue the Five—to be the first one to call or to ask for a date, no matter which gender they are. When healthy, Twos bring warmth, physical comfort and ease (something Fives typically lack), a desire to improve the Five's living conditions, style of dress and eating habits—and many other marks of thoughtfulness-as signs of affection and genuine interest. Fives are usually not unaware of these, though they may not outwardly react to the expressions of affection of Twos, Fives are secretly pleased that anyone cares and is being attentive to them.
    For their part, Fives are usually very loyal: they find relationships complex and difficult, so they tend to value one that begins to work, and they tend to put energy into it. Fives bring stability and quiet, dispassionate good judgment and objectivity, particularly in crises. When Fives focus, they are good listeners and give undivided attention. They are not as attached to outcomes, and so can often make decisions more wisely and be good advisors to more emotionally volatile Twos. Fives are often more calm than Twos, and this gives them both types a feeling of steadiness and of hope. In short, Fives stabilize Twos' emotionality, while Twos warm up Fives' coolness. Twos enjoy seeing that their attention and affections have had positive, visible effects on the Five. Fives secretly like being doted over and finally finding the nurturing they have unconsciously been seeking (but may have almost given up on).

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    Many of the issues that this couple faces have to do with their boundaries and how respectful or not each is of the other. Twos tend to become frustrated by the Five's lack of immediate response to them—sometimes Fives are so taciturn and involved in their own mental world that there is no response at all—which hurts the Two's feelings and feels like a rejection to them. Feeling rejected triggers deep anxieties in Twos relating to the fear that they are unwanted and unloved. This may make them redouble their efforts to get some kind of response from the Five. They may become more talkative, more curious and questioning of the Five, and more demanding-physically hoisting the Five from her desk, or barging into her library to drag her out dancing or to a movie because she needs a break from work. Much of the Two's activities become a form of intrusion that has at its root the need to reassure himself that the Five is still connected with him.
    But the more intrusive Twos become, the more Fives internally withdraw and detach emotionally from what feels like a threat to their autonomy and competence. Fives start to lose confidence in themselves and are actually harmed by being overly helped. Lower functioning Twos, however, feel that they have no value unless they are actively involved in every aspect of the other's life. But the more they feel intruded on, the more unsafe Fives begin to feel, and they may start to fear the Two (because they seem irrational and out of control to the Five). Fives can also become cynical about the value and viability of relationships—and cynical about the possibility of finding one that works for them. Fives tend to walk away from the entire question, losing interest in having an intimate relationship often for years at a time. But the more distance Fives put between themselves and Twos, the more this brings out the Two's obsessions and the more aggressive they become in their pursuit of the Five. It is a prescription for disaster, or at least loneliness, for both.

    [Source]
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  6. #6
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Six

    Both Enneagram Twos and Sixes are highly dutiful and take their responsibilities toward each other very seriously. The emphasis tends to be slightly different, however, with Twos focused primarily on building intimacy and positive feelings between themselves and other individuals, whereas the emphasis of Sixes tends to be on building a foundation of security, a sturdy platform of hard work and trust that everyone can count on. Both types are highly responsible and tend to put the needs of others before their own. They are both family oriented and foster domesticity; they easily share duties around the house and with their children or friends. They are both socially involved in their community and see great value in having many social connections which give them the feeling that they are valued in their world. Sixes value the warmth, kindheartedness, generosity, and self-sacrifice of the Two. Sixes are aware of how well suited Twos are to be an excellent, devoted spouse and parent, and that they could be trusted to be loyal.
    On the other hand, Twos will likely admire the hard work, steadfastness to commitments, perseverance, modesty and playfulness of Sixes. Even if they should sometimes be grumpy and indecisive, Twos realize that healthy Sixes almost always come around in the end. Caution and vigilance are recognized as worthwhile assets in what can be a cruel and exploitative world. Twos often feel that they can count on the Six's watchfulness to spot difficulties before they become problems. When Twos and Sixes are healthy, they may actually admire each other more than they feel a grand passion for each other. Their relationship may be based more on steadiness, mutual respect, and affection than on some kind of overheated chemistry between them. They see the other as good and dependable, and that is often more than enough as a basis for an enduring and productive life together.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    One of the main potential areas for problems between Twos and Sixes has to do with control and autonomy, between being too close and being too far apart. Part of the problem has to do with the lack of confidence of lower functioning Sixes and their ability to make decisions and to be decisive. Average Sixes tend to feel pressured by all kinds of competing demands on their time and energy—by the Two, by the boss, by friends, by their church, and even by their country. Pressure from all sides makes Sixes feel more anxious and emotionally unstable, unable to think clearly or to make decisions easily. They can become doubtful, suspicious, and negativistic. As Sixes become more reactive, they are likely to impulsively take almost any action just to relieve their anxieties momentarily. At such times, Twos may begin to offer them more help and advice, or to issue "orders" as a way to empower the Six and help them through their anxiety.
    However, Sixes usually perceive the Two's help as intrusiveness and undermining of their self-confidence, and they resent it. Cycles of anxiety and acting out, followed by tearful reunions, followed by needing to be more autonomous on the Six's part, followed by more intrusion on the Two's part, can wear this relationship down. The problem is that lower functioning Twos think there is no such thing as too much intimacy since they always want to be closer. However, Sixes are more ambivalent, pushing the Two away and then pulling them closer. The Six's ambivalence and inconsistency drives the Two crazy and taps into their fears of rejection. Twos will up the ante by trying to help the Six more, although Sixes experience their help as control, and they seek more distance. This pair can become enmeshed in a bad child, punishing parent drama that can ultimately be fatal to their relationship and the real mutual respect that it was potentially founded on.

    [Source]

  7. #7
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Seven

    In many ways, both of these types can look alike. Both Enneagram Twos and Sevens can be outgoing, friendly, funny, high-energy people and very enjoyable company. They want others to be happy and to have a good time, and both types tend to interpret things (including setbacks) in a positive way—always looking for the silver lining or the blessing in a seeming disaster. Both types are engaging, spontaneous, and love the good things of life. In addition, Twos bring a depth of feeling and concern for the welfare of others into the mix. Twos admire the nerve and gusto with which Sevens plunge ahead in life, making everyday an unpredictable adventure. Sevens bring high energy, and a quick mind that sees possibilities and generates ideas faster than they can be acted on. There is a kind of mental electricity and excitement that Sevens generate—the aura of sheer possibility that Twos find intoxicating, not only for themselves but for those they want to share their excitement with. The Seven helps the Two to remember to do nice things for themselves on a regular basis. They remind Twos that if they are not taking care of their own health and fulfillment, they will not really be able to be helpful to others. On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.
    Further, both Twos and Sevens are idealistic, but Twos can more easily and consistently translate this impulse into altruistic action. This inspires the Seven who also enjoys sharing their abundance with others. Together, they can be remarkably generous and thoughtful as a couple. The Two and Seven combination can have a positive effect on people that is virtually unmatched by any other couple: they can be warm, welcoming and generous, making others feel loved and invited to the party.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    In time, Twos feel that they can never have enough intimacy and they usually try to find ways to be closer to the Seven. They like to stay at home, go on quiet walks together, cook, and talk about settling down and having a family. Sevens, on the other hand, generally find the idea of settling down and limiting their options to be no where nearly as attractive to them. Sevens are capable of long-term commitments, but they tend not to be eager to get into them. As a result of these signals, the Two may start to hover and become more intrusive, pulling in the reins on the Seven, insisting that they have more quality time together. Sevens can easily feel trapped by this maneuver, and they may begin to lose interest in the Two, feeling that the relationship has gone stale (rather than realizing their own anxiety over the potential closing of options). Twos will increasingly want to get serious about the relationship just as the Seven begins to feel bored or that the relationship has gotten heavy and unfulfilling. Twos can thus begin to see the Seven as untrustworthy, a playboy (or playgirl) who is selfishly leading them on with no intention of tying the knot. Sevens can begin to see Twos as possessive and manipulative, playing on their guilt or insecurities to make sure the Seven does not stray.
    Further, Sevens need to be the center of attention as a way of staying energized and excited. Other people and their needs are not really the focus of their concern as much as they are an audience of potential playmates-if others can keep up with them and their fast pace. While making the Seven the center of attention generally suits Twos well for a while, Twos eventually begin to unconsciously feel used. They will either withhold their attention and affection, or start to compensate in other ways, such as by overeating or having real or imagined health problems as a way of forcing the Seven to pay attention to their needs. A stalemate occurs, and punctuated by conflicts, battles, and loud scenes.

    [Source]

  8. #8
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Eight

    These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first. Both are action-oriented and want to have a personal impact on their environment. Both can be sentimental and deeply feeling, with a soft side that is often more hidden than apparent. Both can play the roles of provider, protector, caretaker, and nurturer while avoiding or even denying their own needs. Both tend to overwork themselves and both tend to be the strong one in relationships (although Twos will tend to do so as the power behind the throne while Eights will tend to clearly be on the throne). Both types bring passion, vitality, interpersonal and social skills, magnanimity, and generosity. The basic emphasis of both types is distinctly different, however, with Twos being primarily interested in the welfare of others while Eights tend to be interested in their physical wellbeing and in having a distinct impact on their world, often with beneficial fallout for others.
    They easily play roles that the other needs and wants: the Eight is practical and concerned with results, whereas Twos are more people-oriented and more openly altruistic. They are both strong willed and like taking on responsibility, as long as they choose it themselves. Eights often bask in the glow of the Two's affection and adoration: Twos truly appreciate the Eight's strength and efforts—and see their often hidden self-sacrifice. Both see each other's noble qualities and can be each other's staunchest supporters and admirers. Their roles are also clearly delineated, so they do not get in each other's way. Each runs different spheres of their lives and cover different bases (one plays the symbolic Mommy the other the symbolic Daddy and things are clear and balanced). These qualities make this couple powerful allies who complement each other's strengths, particularly the good effects they can have on others.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    Twos and Eights have very different value systems: as noted above, Twos tend to be person oriented, while Eights tend to be practical minded. Their interpersonal styles are also very different, with Twos tending to be more empathetic and indirect and Eights being more direct and independent. Even average Eights tend to become proud of their resolutely unsentimental way of dealing with people and situations, while average Twos become highly attached to people and overly-solicitous about their needs. Twos tend to see things from the points of view of others, while Eights do not: they see things from the point of view of self-interest, feeling that others need to learn to take care of themselves lest they become weak and ineffectual. Thus, in a relationship, Twos and Eights have very different ideas about where other people fit into the picture, including their own family.
    Both types tend to move in opposite directions and have increasingly opposing views about how to treat other people. Eights become more hard-hearted and confrontational, while Twos become more possessive and self-sacrificial. Between themselves, they can get into battles with each other about whose philosophy will prevail. Rather than feel rejected or lose a key relationship, however, Twos can get caught in a codependent relationship with the Eight. The Two can become an apologist for the Eight's bad behavior, enabling them and thus encouraging Eights to continue with anti-social or self-destructive habits. Thus, this couple might not break up as quickly as some other pairings would, although they can drag each other down without seeing their mutual trap. Ultimately, Eights can lose respect for Twos, finding them insincere and manipulative, while Twos lose respect for Eights thinking them to be cruel and domineering. Both can become coarser and more controlling if this continues, with overtones of stalking and paranoia, fears of betrayal and acts of revenge.

    [Source]
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  9. #9
    Type 8

    • Type Two-Type Nine

    Enneagram Twos and Nines are similar in a wide variety of areas and reactions; both types are interested in nurturing others and in helping people to be better, more comfortable with themselves, and more at peace. Both types also tend to be optimistic and to reframe disappointments in the most positive way possible. This pairing has an outstanding warm, kindly, and good-natured quality about it that each side reinforces. Twos and Nines are easy-going, hospitable, and undemanding, happy to make friends happy and to welcome them into their home. Twos bring to the pair a more outward and interpersonally engaging energy: they would most likely be the first to introduce themselves at a party or to go to someone's aid and comfort if they perceived that the other person had some kind of problem. Twos are proud of their relationship, their home, their family and their friends—and they want to share them with others. Twos constantly add energy and new people to the relationship mix. They are more talkative than Nines and more openly curious about other people, how they live and what they are like, and more eager to get involved in others' lives.
    On the other hand, Nines bring a quiet steadiness and uncomplicated directness that allows people to flourish and things to get done with a minimum of stress and conflict. Even if Twos become upset about their relationships, or are feeling moments of self-doubt about how loved they are, Nines have a way of calming them down and of providing a great deal of unquestioned acceptance. Both types are drawn to each other to provide soothing and support; their home and hearth, pets and love of nature are extremely important to them. Both go out of their way to be considerate of each other, as well as of other people. Much of their best communication is non-verbal, physical, arising from their simple, direct presence to each other. They can develop almost a psychic link with each other. This is a very mellow couple, whose emphasis on hospitality reminds people of how healing it is to be around loving, generous people.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    Both Twos and Nines tend to give away their power and to go along with the agendas of others. Yet, one of the parties will have to wear the pants in the family, taking charge and making decisions. Doing so goes against the grain of both types, although either will take charge if necessary. However, negotiating power and decision making in a Two/Nine couple puts both parties under increasing stress and both tend to feel that they are being forced into the bad guy role in the family—and that they will be resented and unloved while their partner gets off the hook.
    Further, neither finds it easy to talk about their feelings or their growing discontent with the power balance in the relationship, or with any other sources of resentment and potential conflicts that they may have. Twos tend to actually take over too much, becoming domineering and controlling, not hesitating to boss the Nine around and to speak with surprising harshness to him or her. But because Twos can rationalize their motives and see themselves only as all loving, they can continue without feeling guilty or embarrassed.
    Nines find it difficult to find their own voice and to speak up for themselves. But when the Nine actually does speak up, the Two often takes this as a lack of gratitude and tries to turn the Nine's comments around on them. Twos are not good at taking criticism, and when Nines find the courage to speak up, they may go overboard with a load of old resentments that have piled up. The result is that Nines withdraw into silence and become passive-aggressive as a way of dealing with their anger, while Twos feel unappreciated, misunderstood, and rejected. Both try to keep everything quiet and normal on the surface, although they begin to deteriorate into longer silences with each other-and more distance, including less physical contact. An air of tension takes over, punctuated by angry outbursts and recriminations. The couple that seems so unassuming and supportive tends to end through attrition and drifting apart. Nobody wants to talk about what has really happened, no body wants to take responsibility for the deterioration of the relationship, and things eventually simply fall apart.

    [Source]

    That's it for Type Two.

  10. #10

    I'm a 2 in a relationship with a 5.
    We have a lot of issues, and get into a lot of arguments where our compatibility is brought into question.
    I'm always wanting to talk; and I always push into his personal space.
    He always withdraws.
    It's hard for me to accept that sometimes I need to back off.


 
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