[Wake]

Do you do things out of spite?



I've always been drawn away from such ways, but I'm curious to hear what your experience with this motivation is.

[kittychris07]

I have decided I'm a 6, but my 1-gut fix is pretty strong.

I have done things out of spite, though I have not always been consciously aware of it. Sometimes I have made passive-aggressive remarks that might hurt people and tried to justify to myself that they deserved it if they had done something to alienate me and/or did something that I found to be repulsive. Or I would try to tell myself that I didn't mean it. The passive-aggressive remarks ended up happening because I didn't want to acknowledge my anger and felt that it was inappropriate to act out to do something that would embarrass them or get back at them. I would usually end up slipping and make the passive-aggressive remark, though i felt like I had no control over doing it. It's something i need to get better control over and is pretty immature. I need to recognize when I feel like doing something spiteful and make an effort not to do it.

[Perhaps]

I have before, but this kind of behavior is against my principles because it's childish and unproductive. Occasionally, I'll engage in it if I'm extremely angry with someone and have allowed said anger to slide into resentment, but generally no.

[Pseudonimum]

I have done many things in spite, yes. And I think it's something really childish.

This:

The passive-aggressive remarks ended up happening because I didn't want to acknowledge my anger and felt that it was inappropriate to act out to do something that would embarrass them or get back at them. I would usually end up slipping and make the passive-aggressive remark, though i felt like I had no control over doing it. It's something i need to get better control over and is pretty immature. I need to recognize when I feel like doing something spiteful and make an effort not to do it.

[Wake]

It is funny, I am so against acting out of spite sometimes people who have done me wrong in the past get excused under this principle against spite. I have to believe the person is ruthless and part of the problem before I am willing to act in such ways. So I make a distinction between considering someone less honorable, and having a desire for vengeance.

[cyamitide]

I have had thought about it on more than a multiple occasion but I generally desist. Vengeance, spite, hate lie on the path to disintegration and serve as a deterrent for one's progress forward. Nothing good ever coming out of retribution and vindictiveness, though the temptation for 1 is strong and always there.

[CallSignOWL]

If I dont like you Ill do little things to fuck with you, in a mean way. Like harsh teasing (instead of the usual light, playful teasing), do things you told me not to do (don't boss me around, that pisses me off big time), purposefully ignoring you, avoiding having to work with you and actively seeking out another partner in class, 'accidentally' find ways to hit you (with a Frisbee/soccer ball or kick you harder in TKD), always using a stern face when having to talk to you (no smiles or soft language), find something that annoys you and keep doing it, call you names under my breath, etc.

I figure its better than punching you in the face (which is normally my first impulse), so.....

[kittychris07]

If I dont like you Ill do little things to fuck with you, in a mean way. Like harsh teasing (instead of the usual light, playful teasing), do things you told me not to do (don't boss me around, that pisses me off big time), purposefully ignoring you, avoiding having to work with you and actively seeking out another partner in class, 'accidentally' find ways to hit you (with a Frisbee/soccer ball or kick you harder in TKD), always using a stern face when having to talk to you (no smiles or soft language), find something that annoys you and keep doing it, call you names under my breath, etc.

I figure its better than punching you in the face (which is normally my first impulse), so.....

Honestly, I think I would rather someone punch me in the face. Especially if I didn't realize why that person were so angry with me. If someone did those things to me and I noticed a pattern, I'd probably write the person off as a manipulative piece of trash (since it would seem that the person was too cowardly to confront me directly, and instead did things that he or she would never get caught doing to hurt me).

[CallSignOWL]

Honestly, I think I would rather someone punch me in the face. Especially if I didn't realize why that person were so angry with me. If someone did those things to me and I noticed a pattern, I'd probably write the person off as a manipulative piece of trash (since it would seem that the person was too cowardly to confront me directly, and instead did things that he or she would never get caught doing to hurt me).

are you trying to imply Im a piece of trash?


I feel that I must add that this is a fairly rare occurrence. Most people are decent enough and I rarely get pissed off like that. Im willing to let things slide because I am aware that people may not know how they are coming across to others. But when I tell you and you dont care, that is when I get mean. Because you deserve it now.

I figure if you dont care or respect others enough to change your behaviors when you're around them, then I dont have to play nice.

I have the need to do something to correct/punish this person for being wrong, but since punching people is generally frowned upon and could get me an assault charge and/or banishment from a group, and confronting them leaves me high and dry because most people cant do confrontations and uselessly stand there with their mouths agape, I am left with little more than vindictiveness.

[Wake]

I have decided I'm a 6, but my 1-gut fix is pretty strong.

I have done things out of spite, though I have not always been consciously aware of it. Sometimes I have made passive-aggressive remarks that might hurt people and tried to justify to myself that they deserved it if they had done something to alienate me and/or did something that I found to be repulsive. Or I would try to tell myself that I didn't mean it. The passive-aggressive remarks ended up happening because I didn't want to acknowledge my anger and felt that it was inappropriate to act out to do something that would embarrass them or get back at them. I would usually end up slipping and make the passive-aggressive remark, though i felt like I had no control over doing it. It's something i need to get better control over and is pretty immature. I need to recognize when I feel like doing something spiteful and make an effort not to do it.

How did you figure out you were a 6?