[Pseudonimum]

... but you know they're just too high, unrealistic and are making you loose nice experiences and opportunities. Still, you can't get rid of your conscience telling you, over and over, that it's not good enough.

I bet all of you guys, 1s like me, pass through things like this once in a while.



What to do?

[unico]

I am a 4, but have 1 in my tritype and I sometimes have the same problem. I can expect too much from others and am often disappointed. The thing that helps me the most is realizing how little people I like judge me and how they don't expect more from me that I can give, and how that makes me feel like I'm okay the way I am. I want other people to feel appreciated for what they are, too, and not feel bad about themselves.

[jbking]

Generally, I just try to roll through with life. Sometimes I won't get what I want but there may be other perspectives to take on something. The discussions that can happen at times can be quite interesting to see as to how to screwed up can my initial interpretation be on some things. There is something to be said for noting my anxiety and depression that I have to keep in check in these kinds of situations as sometimes when someone messes something up that could send me into a major downward spiral that just isn't pretty as once I started doing the beat myself up and then be mad at myself for beating myself up that just causes the cycle to repeat up to catastrophic terms and consequences in my head.

[iMaven]

well... with my gf, i get prettyy raged when my "expectations are not met". they are pretty unrealistic, on top of not being known by anyone but myself. sometimes i'll have distorted perceptions of a wrongdoing of other. i'll hold on to any impulse of negative energy i have, and criticize them for it. from this book i'm reading, 1s are big on managing feelings through tension in the body (physical rigidity). i see this in myself.. lol

Like this book says.. The leaden rule for the types:

"1: Fearing that they may be evil, corrupt, or defective in some way, ones point out evil, corruption, and defectiveness in others.
that combined with my 4s rule to treat others disdainfully, as if they were nobodies with 0 significance, and my 5s rule being to make others feel helpless, incompetent,stupid, and incapable...
"

well lets just say i have a lot of things to say whenever my expectations are not met. (yet i'm so glad to be maturing. it is a shame that i've been so hypercritical/hypocritical while being overly judging. i think my w2 is what makes my convictions come out irrational and brutal (1>4 & 2>8) as opposed to a 1w9 who would give up on the convo (one time me and my 1w9 friend were arguing.. he goes "mannnn i can't talk to you about this". as opposed to me.. i would be irrational and brutal in my argument, instead of stopping the arguing. lol but maybe i'm reading to far into it (dont think so tho)

it really just depends though.. some expectations are much less important than others. but, now that i think about it, i'm very critical and annoyed when things don't go how i expect or ESPECIALLY when i'm lead to expect that (deceitfully..)