ok disclaimer.. I don't think all SJs are like this, my parents are just anal retentive about order and need everything done the "right" way according to an exact schedule which obviously drives me crazy. My dad who's some sort of unhealthy ESxJ also has a volatile temper, and the only reason my mum who's probably an ISFJ stayed with him is bc her patience is a double edged sword, thinking she can change him by staying, thus remaining a miserable doormat for the rest of her life. She always makes excuses for him, like our business isn't going very well, and whenever he doesn't make money, he's inevitably going to be grumpy! Well gee, how am I supposed to react sympathetically, nice to be of service for letting you take it out on me every time that happens?
It seems all they ever do is criticise me for being lazy and incompetent, and this actually takes quite a toll on my self-esteem as much as I try to detach afterwards. Granted, sometimes I'm slacking on the household chores, I'm trying to put more effort in to get them off my back, but today after I forgot to take in the washing, my dad went off at me like you wouldn't imagine over something so petty! I never understood why parents feel the need to be so fussy over their kids' living space being a little messy.. they think sloppy organisation is a reflection on my whole competence and independence as a person. It's like the warped logic you hear about people who drop out of school/college being a reflection of their commitment in relationships, well my parents think no one could possibly respect me for living in my head and not being practical enough. They're even meticulous about clothes not being folded properly, like are you serious? You're going to unfold those clothes when you wear them!!! ARGH!!!!!!! (disgusted with myself for having such genes). I just calmed down from a huge screaming fight with them and although it would be ideal for me to move out, that option isn't practical as I'm still financially dependent on them. ): Any tips on how to cope? It seems the only compromise they'll except is ABIDE BY OUR RULES OR YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL AND USELESS. </rant>
I'm also curious if you are an SJ, how well did you get along with your SJ and/or intuitive parents?