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When is the right time to enter into a relationship?

5K views 4 replies 5 participants last post by  decided 
#1 ·
I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship before because I've always been picky. (I can usually tell right away if a guy is worth dating to begin with. I don't bother going on a first date with someone my intuition tells me isn't worth it, so I've stayed single for a long time. Prolly an ENTP thing?)

It's been 3 weeks since I met this great guy (he passed my 'intuition test') and he seems to be extremely smitten with me. We don't do anything stupid, just a lot of fun and talking about anything and everything. He asked me to be his girlfriend a couple of days ago and I said yes. It's the first for both of us. A couple of my friends were surprised at how fast we were going because they think a 3-week courtship is too short to become committed and that I said 'yes' way too fast. I can't make them understand that I've been using my head this whole time and wouldn't even be dating this guy if I wasn't sure of him in the first place.

Maybe I'm wrong, but when is it usually the right time to be in a relationship with someone? Are we going too fast?
 
#3 ·
When I met my wife, I knew then and there I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. In all honesty I probably would have asked her to marry me right then and there if I could be sure she wouldn't have sprayed with mace, taserd me, kicked me in the niblits, and run screaming from me.

Just in case you where wondering we got married a few years after we met. Still would have asked her when I met her though.
 
#5 ·
There aren't really any rules about these things. Relationships unfold as it seems right for both people involved, and your gut instinct seems to be working well for you.

Some people spend several months playing hot and cold, not entirely understanding each other, before connecting at a deep level and having that conversation. Compared to those relationships, you guys are moving pretty quickly.

If you're comfortable with where it's going, and don't feel rushed or scared, then I'd say everything's cool. It sounds to me that you guys have very open and honest communication, and connected really quickly, so three weeks made perfect sense to both of you.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying yes to something that you want to do, when you are thinking straight. It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to know what you want - 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years - at that point you still know what you want!

So no, I don't think you're going too fast.
 
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