Is it true that all what a guy wants from a girl is sex ??

Selden

Also, I think it's a myth that there's a "love scale". On one end the scale, you have relationship/romance and on the other hand you have sexuality/sensuality. As if you can only be on one end of the scale at a time or try to evenly balance it out.

Well, I say that is bullshit. You can have a lot of sex and romance and likewise, just because you aren't sexual doesn't automatically mean you're very loving. You can have your cake and eat it. In fact, I think both sex and relationship not only compliments each other but even makes one and the other better

BehindSmile

Growing up all my mom constantly told me was that line. "All guys want from you is sex" "All they care about is one thing". Once I became sexually active with boyfriends...she'd tell me "You better make sure you're giving him enough or he's going to leave you". I break under pressure, and tend to still put way too much pressure on myself. It's incredibly frustrating and is something I think about daily.

Selden

I don't think some guy is going to leave you if you don't give x amount of sex. Of course, it depends on the individual. Personally, I would want a lot of sex in a relationship and for more than just physically. At the same time though, I don't judge or try to put pressure on it.

However, if a girlfriend didn't want sex (when circumstances deemed it O.K to do), I would be a bit hurt and confused. If she had sexual problems (physically or psychologically) I'd understand. If not though, I'd feel like maybe I failed and she didn't enjoy it or that she doesn't really want me. Especially if she talked about it behind my back or gave the bitchy attitude of "well, you can't have it". Then I'd feel really hurt and betrayed.

BehindSmile

I have psychological issues with it (i e: pressure I put on myself constantly because of my mother's constant comments. My EX also would get PISSED at me when he'd visit me at college for a weekend and we'd only have sex one night out of the two nights he was there, and eventually broke up with me because we didn't have sex enough, he said it felt like we were just friends.) When I face negativity or pressure, I do the opposite of what I'm being pressured into. I don't succumb to pressure at all), on top of the fact the two medications I am on have the side effect of loss of libido.

My boyfriend and I definitely communicate about it together, try new things, try to find solutions and he's incredibly understanding about it. So understanding that he deserves to get it everyday...at least twice a day. I just can't ever get myself in the mood. It's frustrating, for both of us. Our relationship is amazing, and it'd be so much more amazing if we just had a better sex life. When we have sex...it's fantastic! I have no problems getting off at least twice. It's just getting to that point...getting in the mood.

Not to mention I'm uptight if I hadn't shaved that day, or showered within the past 8 hours, not wearing sexy underwear, etc.. It's incredibly annoying, I don't know how to just let go and let things happen. My biggest fear is losing him, or him straying because sex IS an important part of a relationship. I don't want history repeating itself.

Pied Tubist

I think it depends on the guy and the girl in question. All guys are interested in sex and certainly sex will get us to give you attention for one night, but it won't keep our attention for any longer if that's all you have to offer.

The world has changed a lot since I was in college, but back then a lot of the "bad boys" I knew would try to bed as many girls as possible solely for fun, but would say privately to their male friends that if they ever found a girl who would NOT give in, then they'd consider getting more serious with her.

My general suggestion for any young woman is if a guy tries to bed you, say "no" for at least 2 months and see if respects you enough to accept that without overly pressuring you and still wants to be around you. If he leaves after he figures out that you really aren't going to give in any time soon, then he's not really into YOU, but if he stays then you may have really found a keeper.

BehindSmile, I don't think there's anything unusual about your libido.

I'm married and over 50 but if I had my druthers the wife and I'd still be doing the wild thing once or twice a day. In the real world things just don't work that way. Due to health problems, the stress of work, being tired, etc. my wife can't keep up with that. I get less in a year than I'd like in a month, but hey I love her enough to accept that. If your boyfriend loves you, he'll be able to deal with the difference in the level of desire. Just don't be jealous if you finds out that he takes matters in hand.

Perseus

Lilith (ESFP) says this. She wants a Scorpion between her legs.

Alitta88

well, I think it's normal that guys want sex but not all of them think of it the same..

InvisibleJim

Different strokes for different folks.

Res

I think when you refer to what "most" guys wants, many people of my personality type don't even relate to what most anyone wants on that basic level anyway. I can only speak from my personal experience, and that of people similar to me that I've talked to (INFJ, INFP, INTP), but I've consistently found people that I chose to associate myself with are less like what "most" people want.

I know for me personally, even if in a relationship, sex isn't important to me. To me, it seems too much of a primitive aspect of going about one's life. I think humans have evolved so much, that subjugating myself to it most times, makes me feel less of a human, actually. So instead of FUCKING everyone, why don't we get down to what really matters. Instead of having a one night stand with a girl you just recently met, let's do something more productive than simply releasing hormones which have been driving us crazy. Because once they're out, you've said your piece and people can see you for who you really are. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Invite a friend over and play frisbee. Engage in an intellectual conversation about topics important to you with this person. Do something other than making the person you're with feel like the only reason you "with" them in the first place is because a certain part of their body appeals to your senses. That's the feeling I get from people who impulsively want to be with someone simply for the act in itself.

I'd much rather first learn this person's quirks, who they are and what they're about instead of jumping the bandwagon into their soul. Sex is secondary in my opinion, but I can understand why some people engage in it before getting to know them. These people may be what your relative thinks. These people prefer to sleep with someone, then getting to know them in the sense of their hobbies and what they're like. Sex can make or break a relationship for some people, and can tell you a lot about that person from just one sexual encounter. So they go the quick route in sleeping with this person, but what if things don't go exactly as you planned? You've slept with this person, it turns out the outcome of the sex is dissatisfied from both you and her, now what? You're officially a scumbag.

I view having sex with someone as a gradual buildup of everything I've learned about them. I know what they're about, what I'm getting myself into by sleeping with them, and even if things don't go over well for me romantically, at least I'll be content in knowing I took steps which I feel are right and that she and I aren't simply on no speaking terms, or at least not awkward to the point where it's clear what my intentions were.

Blue Butterfly

I never met a man that would be just friends with me. I try to make friends with them but they either stop being my friend or at some point want sex. If anyone know how to get a man to be just friends please share the secret.