I've just come across this Wikipedia article. Turns out this perfectly describe my case:
Even while masturbating, just the thinking about that long-term woman is a turn-off while thinking about women my fuckd up unconscious didn't put in the "Saint category" is very arousing.
I remember I have thought about that years ago, when I told a female friend that I think I have a problem in that I can't be sexually aroused by girls I'm in love with, to what she replied "But that's perfectly normal". So I didn't give a second thought to that issue till I found out it's actually a complex.
Point is, I tried to google the possibility of a cure/treatment but I found nothing interesting. But I'm quite convinced there is a solution.
Hence this thread. What I want to discuss are some angles from which the problem could be attacked. I somehow got the hunch that overcoming that obstacle would be very life-rewarding.
First and foremost, I'd like to state that I strongly disagree with the Freudian psychology take on that:
I've come to realize that the complex is simply a distortion of reality. A kind of black-or-white thinking in which women are either 1) Saints 2) Whores but can't be both. Intellectually, I figured that way of thinking to be false, that a woman ca be both nurturing and naughty. But my unconscious doesn't seem to realize that :dry:.
So the question is, how does one deal with unconscious distortions of reality like that? I know that most of the time, those kind of issues are related to experiences from the past but I can't think of nothing right now.
Any ideas on how to overcome the problem are welcome. Also any similar experiences are welcome. But please refrain from posting if you're just going to advise me to "seek professional help" I've already thought about that.
I'm very sexually attracted to women Im not in a relationship with, but I have big trouble being sexually attracted to women I'm in love with because unconsciously, I idealize them.
Even while masturbating, just the thinking about that long-term woman is a turn-off while thinking about women my fuckd up unconscious didn't put in the "Saint category" is very arousing.
I remember I have thought about that years ago, when I told a female friend that I think I have a problem in that I can't be sexually aroused by girls I'm in love with, to what she replied "But that's perfectly normal". So I didn't give a second thought to that issue till I found out it's actually a complex.
Point is, I tried to google the possibility of a cure/treatment but I found nothing interesting. But I'm quite convinced there is a solution.
Hence this thread. What I want to discuss are some angles from which the problem could be attacked. I somehow got the hunch that overcoming that obstacle would be very life-rewarding.
First and foremost, I'd like to state that I strongly disagree with the Freudian psychology take on that:
I had a very loving and nurturing mother. In fact, I think having a nurturing, loving "perfect" mother makes it even more likely to have that problem, as one would end up having a very idealized view of his mother, a view that he'd try to replicate in his long-term relationships.
I've come to realize that the complex is simply a distortion of reality. A kind of black-or-white thinking in which women are either 1) Saints 2) Whores but can't be both. Intellectually, I figured that way of thinking to be false, that a woman ca be both nurturing and naughty. But my unconscious doesn't seem to realize that :dry:.
So the question is, how does one deal with unconscious distortions of reality like that? I know that most of the time, those kind of issues are related to experiences from the past but I can't think of nothing right now.
Any ideas on how to overcome the problem are welcome. Also any similar experiences are welcome. But please refrain from posting if you're just going to advise me to "seek professional help" I've already thought about that.