How long is it normal to go without sex?

Originally Posted by Reality Soldier

I'm still a virgin, so I've gone 18 years without sex.

I agree with this a lot. It's weird because I'm a guy and stereotypically sex is something that's supposedly at the top of my priority list, but it's really not. It feels kinda weird saying this, but I actually tend to daydream more about hugging, kissing, and cuddling with girls I'm attracted to than having sex with them.

WHY CAN'T ALL MEN BE LIKE YOU?!
Mehh

Originally Posted by HollyGolightly

WHY CAN'T ALL MEN BE LIKE YOU?!
Mehh

You obviously haven't met a lot of men. Most of my friends are the same way. Even when I'm in the mood I don't really imagine sexing up the women on the street, usually the hugging/kissing/caressing thing. Guys who prefer daydreaming about that stuff don't make a statement in the world and in the media, so it goes unnoticed. However, it's quite prevalent.

Second of all, if ALL guys were like that, then we would have an entirely different problem on our hands

Originally Posted by tdmg

You obviously haven't met a lot of men. Most of my friends are the same way. Even when I'm in the mood I don't really imagine sexing up the women on the street, usually the hugging/kissing/caressing thing. Guys who prefer daydreaming about that stuff don't make a statement in the world and in the media, so it goes unnoticed. However, it's quite prevalent.

Second of all, if ALL guys were like that, then we would have an entirely different problem on our hands

Yeah, I know that there's actually a lot of guys that also prefer doing things more romantic than sex. The thing is, though, most of them tend to be a little secretive about those feelings since they're afraid of looking effeminate or otherwise negatively judged. The way I was raised, though, led me to entirely ignore gender roles. In fact, I never even knew what they were till I became a teenager, simply because my parents (my Dad especially) thought gender roles were sexist in nature (unless all the gender roles somehow apply to someone's interests, in which case I wouldn't hold anyone back for doing something they liked unless it hurt anyone). That said, some of my interests are feminine and some are masculine and I don't do things or avoid things based on whether people think it's manly or not.

Like I said, though, a lot of the guys that love hugging, cuddling, kissing, and the like, seem to usually be shy, thus they're usually difficult for girls to find since they're nervous about introducing themselves. On the other hand, your typical guy that constantly thinks about sex is usually less shy. After all, he's expected to think that way. Since people expect him to be obsessed with sex, he has no shame in acting that way, thus he has no reason feel shy about admitting he likes it. At least, that's the conclusion I've reached, I could be wrong.

Originally Posted by tdmg

You obviously haven't met a lot of men. Most of my friends are the same way. Even when I'm in the mood I don't really imagine sexing up the women on the street, usually the hugging/kissing/caressing thing. Guys who prefer daydreaming about that stuff don't make a statement in the world and in the media, so it goes unnoticed. However, it's quite prevalent.

Second of all, if ALL guys were like that, then we would have an entirely different problem on our hands

No, I've met a lot of men. It's just that where I live...well I live in a bad area where most of the population have no brain so most of the males just think about poking stuff. Anybody I have dated has made sex a big issue and have made me feel like a prude and that it's impossible for me to please someone. But I am young and they are young...I understand that not all guys are like that but I have never heard a guy say what Reality Soldier said so I was taken aback.

Originally Posted by tdmg

Second of all, if ALL guys were like that, then we would have an entirely different problem on our hands

this planet's overpopulated as it is, may as well have more guys into kissing and hugging

Originally Posted by docmcelroy

How long have you gone without having sex? Be honest!

And do you think it's normal or OK not to have sex at all? It seems like everyone is having it all the time but that could just be my imagination. I have'nt had a partner in a long time and have'nt felt the need to.

I am just asking on this forum because the posters here are very honest and outspoken and offer beautiful (or at least entertaining) answers.

Does dating rosey palmer count?
if not, then longer than I care to think about, but not so long ago that I can't remember what it's like.

Originally Posted by docmcelroy

How long have you gone without having sex? Be honest!

I didn't have sex for 19+ years... until I lost my virginity when I was 19 years old. (ha ha)

But in the middle of my adulthood?

I went for a period of about 18 months when my marriage fell apart and we were separating. I didn't really miss it then, due to all the emotional turmoil at the time.

Nowadays, with my life stabilized again finally, I go a little stir crazy if it's been a few days and I haven't had it.

And do you think it's normal or OK not to have sex at all? It seems like everyone is having it all the time but that could just be my imagination. I have'nt had a partner in a long time and have'nt felt the need to.

There are a few people who just aren't really interested in sex. It could be personality-driven, it could be experience-driven, it could be hormonally driven. (When my hormones were out of whack, I could go without sex for months and not care at all; once I got things a bit balanced, suddenly the desire came back.) In any case, no, there's nothing "wrong" with it IMO... and you can spend your time focused on other things!

Originally Posted by Reality Soldier

I agree with this a lot. It's weird because I'm a guy and stereotypically sex is something that's supposedly at the top of my priority list, but it's really not. It feels kinda weird saying this, but I actually tend to daydream more about hugging, kissing, and cuddling with girls I'm attracted to than having sex with them.

oooooh, I like you!

Honestly, kissing is pretty much as good as sex for me... if it's with the right person. I almost black out.

16 years. I'm a 16-year-old virgin.

You can live without it. Well you can't live without it creating you but you can live without having sex, it's not that hard xD.

I think if somebody can't control their feelings they're a pussy. That includes their feelings of wanting to have sex. I think the world is over sexualized and people make too much of a big deal. People think if they're not having sex like everyone else is they're missing out on something.The same goes for drinking, drugs and other things you really don't need to do to "live". There's more to life than sex believe it or not.

I don't mind if I only have sex with one person in for my whole life, I don't do things like that to improve my ego or boost it in any way.

I have a Quagmire libido, but I don't go around humping everything. It's just like me being so sensitive, I don't cry about everything either.

But seriously, you can live without having it frequently and many people have. The world doesn't need anymore babies, let the married couples who want babies do that, if you do it for pleasure, don't cheat on someone and casual sex is really weird, imo. I can't even kiss someone I don't know, I can't even kiss someone I don't like. But whatever floats your boat, just stay safe and don't hurt anyone because it's possible to fall in love from having sex, even with a randomer I've heard.

wow....i have to say i am surprised about the lack of libido around the world, i couldn't imagine not having sex, not pursuing sex, not enjoying sex. it is an experience that can differ from boring, depressing failure to the most amazing moment in life. call me nihilistic but i think your desires are what makes you stand up everyday and their satisfaction is what lets you rest. i am thinker, i love to read, i love to discuss but afterall this is luxury compared to sheer necessity of satisfying your needs, like eating (and i love good food) and sex (i love good sex, noct comparable to masturbation). sex can be expression of love, it can give your life meaning by creating somebody you can love utterly, but for me sex is primary an adventure, a desire. sex is not only about orgasms, but it is about new experiences, pure sensuality and by the way, it is a form of art.
i can totally understand when people don't have the libido to run around and climb every human being around and for those people there are totally different standards of how long a sex break is "normal" but to me sex is a necessity and when i have to wait 3 month (which happened once due to the lack of possibility) i get a bit annoyed. however, my mentality is not pure hedonism, i have thought about the meaning of life a lot, read most philosophers but finally, the point in life is enjoying it.
what i can NOT understand are hermits, people who forbid themselves their desires and i can hardly talk to them about the subject. yes, i might be amoral, i take drugs, i have sex with strangers, bla bla bla but i am happy and enlightened enough to see other, "higher" things in life too (and enjoying them).
(especially when you didn't have sex)

in my experience, INTs are often late bloomers with less sexual appetites. last week i had sex with a 19 year old virgin(INTJ) . she never had a great desire for sex but she was curious and we got along great, so we just did it, without much romantics but it went great after some anatomical trouble and she really got into it, on a rational level. sex does not have to be very emotional, especially when you aren't very emotional.


@assbicuits
you should actually try it before you have an opinion. i don't say you should hook up with a stranger, the same way i wouldn't tell someone with an opinion about rape victimis to get raped, but rather to keep it down until you have a valid oppinion. to people who have made bad experiences with sex i say try it again if you have the libido or just leave it alone if you haven't, but fear never makes things better, it only destroys hope. by the way: yes western society is oversexed, but it's underf*****.
sex is everywhere, naked models, it seems to be the center of the fricken' universe but people aren't more sexually active than in any time of history, i bet, it is just more out in the open. it often reminds me of mena suvari in american beauty. it's al talk afterall and i am annoyed by it too, but just because the hiporcisy turned from " i have sex but deny it " to "i say i have sex but don't, actually". sex becomes to artifical this way.

sorry if got a bit off topic.... ;)

i wish you all a wonderful life with or without sex but life is full of opportunities and pleasure (and that comes from a nihilist) ;)