Push/Pull

Who has used Push and Pull tactics? How affective are they? Can I have some examples.
Please Explain :)

whut?

There is so much about sex I do not know about, and much of it I'm not sure I would want to know about it anyway.

Uhm......huh?

This is not actually about sex, and it's more about relationships.

Push and pull tactics have to do with the emotional distance between partners, where one pushes their partner or potential partner away, creating the emotional distance to once again pull them in. Alternatively, you could say that it's based on more or less interest being displayed. This is considered to be a form of seduction by many even though it appears to send conflicting messages (apparently a lot of people find conflict seductive), and it's not something I have personal experience with as the pusher/puller or the pushee/pullee. I've actually heard to this form of relationship being called sadomasochistic, but I don't know much about that.

I found an article on this actually, and just to irritate at least half the posters on this forum, I made sure to find an example relating to Twilight. No, I am not a fan of Twilight, but it makes a surprisingly good example of the push/pull archetype (then again, most pseudo-Harlequin romances do). If you have someone who alternatives between being aloof and being interested, that is a soft version of "push and pull."

I have heard of push and pull relationships, and while it can be at times effective, I am not at all sure it is what you would call healthy, for either partner, especially if it is being done conciously by one party to ensure the internet of another party. I cannot provide tips, but would state that I personally would find it difficult to be attracted to someone who is at one point hot, and another point cold. Even though everyone goes through stages or points where their interest rises or wanes, push/pull tends to take that natural trend and exacerbate or accelerate it, and I simply don't think it's a great idea to try it.

I figure that if you can't attract someone through being more who you are or how you would normally act in a relationship, then it'll be hard for the relationship to work well beyond any use of push/pull. Just my opinion.

Oh, haha. It seems i must explain myself a bit.

The Push and Pull tactic is not about sex; instead it's about the first step in creating a relationship and/or moving it forward. Pushing is the act of pushing away a male/female that you are interested in. So the opposite is Pulling back the male/female. An example of Pushing is "I would date you, but you're just to smart/tall/short/etc" after that they may try to become what you wanted them to be. Or, "You have the best smile in the room tonight." (then they say thanks or something...then wait a couple seconds) "Well, actually i think your's was the fourth best tonight, i'm going to call you Number Four." Making their self-esteem go up. Then you, of sorts, insult them, making their self-esteem go down. After that they have already tasted the "frosting" you can give them, so they will probably want more of it. Thus making them chase you rather than the other way around.


EDIT: ahh, got ninja'd... anyway thank you for the explaining from "Khar"

I'm not a fan of petty relationship "games" period.

Ugh.
Jesus, I would never do that intentionally.

Originally Posted by avatarphen

Oh, haha. It seems i must explain myself a bit.

The Push and Pull tactic is not about sex; instead it's about the first step in creating a relationship and/or moving it forward. Pushing is the act of pushing away a male/female that you are interested in. So the opposite is Pulling back the male/female. An example of Pushing is "I would date you, but you're just to smart/tall/short/etc" after that they may try to become what you wanted them to be. Or, "You have the best smile in the room tonight." (then they say thanks or something...then wait a couple seconds) "Well, actually i think your's was the fourth best tonight, i'm going to call you Number Four." Making their self-esteem go up. Then you, of sorts, insult them, making their self-esteem go down. After that they have already tasted the "frosting" you can give them, so they will probably want more of it. Thus making them chase you rather than the other way around.


EDIT: ahh, got ninja'd... anyway thank you for the explaining from "Khar"

That sounds horrendous, and it is certainly something I would never do, personally.

Had some try the push.
The pull stopped working right then and there.

OP, you trying to gain expertise, or smth?