Significant other choice - yourself?

So I was going around a mall last week and I couldnt stop wondering about how many couples that had similar facial traits. So it got me thinking maybe its not only in facial but also personality traits where we try and find similar traits. It clearly has to do something with our ego.

There have to be a study out there about this, if anybody knows, please let me know.

Any other thoughts are encouraged.

Yea ...I dunno...my personal thing that I notice a lot...is that people seem very attracted to ...uncertain familiarity. They like things to be similar to them...but they want something to be different...otherwise ...well that would be just boring.

Quotes by Jung I find interesting in this regard.

Taken from The Jung Lexicon

Symbiosis. A psychological state where contents of one's personal unconscious are experienced in another person. (See also projection and soul-image.)

Symbiosis manifests in unconscious interpersonal bonds, easily established and difficult to break. Jung gave an example in terms of introversion and extraversion. Where one of these attitudes is dominant, the other, being unconscious, is automatically projected.

Either type has a predilection to marry its opposite, each being unconsciously complementary to the other. . . . The one takes care of reflection and the other sees to the initiative and practical action. When the two types marry, they may effect an ideal union. So long as they are fully occupied with their adaptation to the manifold external needs of life they fit together admirably.["The Problem of the Attitude-Type," CW 7, par. 80.]

Problems in such relationships typically surface only later in life, accompanied by strong affect.

When the man has made enough money, or if a fine legacy should drop from the skies and external necessity no longer presses, then they have time to occupy themselves with one another. Hitherto they stood back to back and defended themselves against necessity. But now they turn face to face and look for understanding-only to discover that they have never understood one another. Each speaks a different language. Then the conflict between the two types begins. This struggle is envenomed, brutal, full of mutual depreciation, even when conducted quietly and in the greatest intimacy. For the value of the one is the negation of value for the other.[Ibid.]

The ending of a symbiotic relationship often precipitates an outbreak of neurosis, stimulated by an inner need to assimilate those aspects of oneself that were projected onto the partner.

Soul-image. The representation, in dreams or other products of the unconscious, of the inner personality, usually contrasexual. (See also anima and animus.)

Wherever an impassioned, almost magical, relationship exists between the sexes, it is invariably a question of a projected soul-image. Since these relationships are very common, the soul must be unconscious just as frequently.[Definitions," CW 6, par. 809. ]

The soul-image is a specific archetypal image produced by the unconscious, commonly experienced in projection onto a person of the opposite sex.

For an idealistic woman, a depraved man is often the bearer of the soul-image; hence the "saviour-fantasy" so frequent in such cases. The same thing happens with men, when the prostitute is surrounded with the halo of a soul crying for succour.[ Ibid., par. 811.]

Where consciousness itself is identified with the soul, the soul-image is more likely to be an aspect of the persona.

In that event, the persona, being unconscious, will be projected on a person of the same sex, thus providing a foundation for many cases of open or latent homosexuality, and of father-transferences in men or mother-transferences in women. In such cases there is always a defective adaptation to external reality and a lack of relatedness, because identification with the soul produces an attitude predominantly oriented to the perception of inner processes.[Ibid., par. 809.]

Many relationships begin and initially thrive on the basis of projected soul-images. Inherently symbiotic, they often end badly.

Anyone have anything of interest to support my theory, since Jung only talks of Anima/Animus that is for anima the mother projection, if Im really cynical in my reading of Jung.

When I was still with my ex, we were often told that we looked somewhat alike, but we never agreed.

It was very simple for me - I hooked up with my current love because he didn't make me homicidal. For me, that aspect is very important when considering a long term relationship. I am not joking in the least. Think of how many couples try to kill each other and succeed.

Well, infatuation is a huge projection-fest, so that could have something to do with it. I've heard it said that you're infatuated with someone because they have a quality that you admire, but you're the one that actually owns that quality. If that makes sense.

And if I had to describe my preference for physical traits, I'd fit the description

I admit that I thought I wanted someone just like me. I'm psychologically narcissistic that way, but my current boyfriend is not like me at all. To quote a song, "I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap." It seems we overlap just enough that we are not constantly jabbing each other with the edges that don't fit. I don't ever feel like a puzzle piece that is bent up from being jammed into the wrong place. We have compatible shapes, even if they are not smoothly identical, and I think the ways we are different will hold us together better than a neutral similarity. If we were both the same, we would have the same weaknesses, and nobody to compensate for the lack. Harmony is very important to me, and I once thought I would have to sacrifice some versatility in order to achieve it. I might get everything I wanted without having to settle.
Posted via Mobile Device

I just found a decent symbol to validate my feelings about the psychological ideal. Male and female bodies are mostly alike in form. Mine is not like a hollow glove all over to engulf all of his parts, but is his inverse only in one small place where the physical connection is strengthened by that difference.
Posted via Mobile Device

Eh, yes and no. Similar physical traits? Doesn't interest me. Similar personalities? Only in core matters, like ethics and morals and such. For the rest I'd like them to be different because being around a second me would be...boring, dull, lifeless, no spark. :B

i would agree with this to a certain extent. I am often more attracted to women with dark hair and blue eyes like I have.