I feel to indecisive in my relationships

I've liked this girl for two months, and we talked a lot initially on Facebook, then we met and hit it off pretty well. A lot of times during these weeks, i would feel intense feelings for her that were almost unbearable without being returned. Finally the other night, the ice kinda broke when I kissed her, and things started progressing forward.

I really liked that first kiss, and the kisses afterwards. But after hanging out that night, it felt like my crazy feelings were gone. I still liked her, things I would think of would make be chuckle, and the way she laughed, or what she said would put a smile on my face.

Yesterday we hung out again, and my feelings felt different again. I couldn't think of anything I disliked about her really, she was funny, she said interesting things. But the crazy feelings I use to have still weren't there. I think I really like her, but I don't understand my feelings. IT also doesn't help that I can't stop thinking about her all day long, sometimes it makes me sick because I just keep thinking about if I don't like her, and how I could hurt her eventually.

All this thinking has kind of lead me to believe that I have idealized what love really is. Maybe I'm not meant, maybe no one is, or has the kind of feelings I did in the beginning forever. Perhaps it was just my imagination, for it is very powerful, or perhaps my imagination has been influenced by all sorts of things from society. The idea of soul-mates, true love, and all that.

My last relationship before this girl was pretty much a diaster. I stayed with her way to long, because I thought I could convince myself to like her, and that it was fun having a girlfriend. I shouldn't have done that, because it was bad for both of us, and now that I have that knowledge I feel a bit paranoid about the success of future relationships.

I guess I just wan't to know if this is how most people feel in a relationship, or if something is wrong with me. I feel almost insane sometimes, as she runs through my mind endlessly. I usually cannot go to sleep because I feel so anxious, the only thing that tunes her out of my mind is music.. Elliot smith, Helios, the soft stuff.

I know how you feel. I can become overly-infatuated with my crushes, especially at first. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Your thoughts are just that - thoughts. If your mind wants to run this girl on a mental treadmill all day, let it. Don't let it affect you - just be yourself.

I'm kind of confused about what you mean when you say your crazy feelings for her were gone. Is that a bad thing?

It sounds like you might just not feel a strong connection. I think many people go through this when they're single and looking for a partner; you flirt with some different people, maybe get a bit close, and then realize that it's just not very intimate or enjoyable. I've stuck through one relationship like that before and it was okay, he just broke it off and we were fine. The second time this happened to me I just left after two weeks and tried to be friends for a while (the main reason we stopped talking was actually unrelated). After that I just didn't stress about being in a relationship right away. When I met a new person I thought was interesting/attractive, we'd talk for a while and keep hanging out until I thought that either A) we had a really special connection or B) they would be a good friend.

I think you're just overthinking it. Either you have a connection with someone or you don't. Talking with someone on facebook chat is very different than hanging out with them in person, kissing them, etc... now that you're moving forward with the real deal, you just don't feel the spark, and that's fine. I know it sucks to let someone down, but if you aren't feeling it, it's worse to lead her on.

You will eventually find someone you feel crazy about and stay crazy about. Don't worry about that. It just isn't this girl.