This is a discussion on Women flirting vs. being friendly - your thoughts? within the Sex and Relationships forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; Originally Posted by Master Mind Since this falls within my area of knowledge, I guess I'll chime in. It's called ...
Yeah, merely being friendly.
Or having an itchy scalp.
Or thinking about the person they'd rather be with.
etc etc. could be anything.
Let me try to make it a bit more cut an dry. Assuming women are generally going to be more used to social activity (lots of explanations for this thought, if you're curious ask), they will have more experience with it, which leads to a better understanding of its gradients as well as a broader appreciation that attention does not always mean affection, certainly possible. Could also explain why ignoring a woman can be powerful, would be like taking a fish out of water.
Conversely men being from a less social world could be more inclined to misunderstand attention as equal to affection because for a man's world affection and attention often are the same things. As a result men are more capable of misunderstanding that a woman's attention isn't inherently about attraction.
Let me give an anecdote on this one:
I'm quite aloof by nature, variety of reasons. Periodically in my life a person has misunderstood this aspect of my personality. While both genders are capable of misunderstanding my aloof nature, women by and large are the ones who are more likely to take offence to it. I have very rarely been called on it by a guy, and usually at the behest of a woman or women. The guys who do call me on it are generally razzing me about it.
The other part of this and more topical to the OP, I am apparently flirty as hell when I'm being playful. It isn't something I do on purpose just sort of how it works out. So perhaps much like some women, what for me is friendly and playful just happens to be flirty to other people.
So perhaps in my case the juxtaposition of those traits causes more confusion, but I think the bell curve of gender experiences is definitely in play here.
Do men largely consider attention an addition while women are more inclined to take it as a given?
I think a woman's flirting if she touches her hair a lot or twirls it around while smiling, if they laugh at my terrible jokes and if they touch me. Another big indicator is if she keeps eye contact for a long time as well.
So men, in general, are bumbling oblivious idiots that women openly admit having fun messing with, and it's up to the bumbling oblivious idiot to wisen up, and change his tune, while the "innocent" woman having fun messing with him can keep having fun messing with him until he no longer falls for it. Or even continue when he does stop falling for it. You know, because she's innocent. Totally unaware of her own actions. No meeting in the middle, whatsoever.
I can't help but picturing the couples from sitcoms like Family Guy or Everybody Loves Raymond. Women are perfect in every way, and their guys, even their own partners, are little more than playthings. Like a cat with a mouse.