Women flirting vs. being friendly - your thoughts?

Originally Posted by Master Mind

Since this falls within my area of knowledge, I guess I'll chime in.

It's called misattribution. Both men and women are capable of differentiating sexually interested behavior from friendly behavior, however men perceive more situations as sexually oriented than women do due to a gender-based perceptual difference. Men have a low threshold for labelling behavior as "interested" (i.e., flirting), while women have a high threshold for interested behavior. Meaning that friendly behavior by women is likely to be misjudged as interested behavior by men due to the threshold differences in labelling behavior as a sign of interest, which is why men often think women are flirting with them when they're merely being friendly.

Also, there are men who go for it regardless if women are interested or not. It's fun for them and they like to "win over". This can be sorta fun, because you can be direct and tell them "no" and then they up their game. But everything is out on the table. "I'm not interested in you and I'm not going to date you." <<< and that is not a game, it comes from the heart. But they could care less and remain on their mission. But I know their intentions and they know how I feel.

@Master Mind

Yeah, merely being friendly.
Or having an itchy scalp.
Or thinking about the person they'd rather be with.
etc etc. could be anything.

Originally Posted by KingFrog

I'm starting to think most demisexuals aren't real at all, and I'm starting to think what I'd say they were without that label.

A Prude.

Perhaps some demisexuals are less sexually inclined in general. I have a very high sex drive, but I am rarely attracted to someone enough to have sex with them. However, when I am, I want to all the time.

Picky.

Originally Posted by Master Mind

Since this falls within my area of knowledge, I guess I'll chime in.

It's called misattribution. Both men and women are capable of differentiating sexually interested behavior from friendly behavior, however men perceive more situations as sexually oriented than women do due to a gender-based perceptual difference. Men have a low threshold for labelling behavior as "interested" (i.e., flirting), while women have a high threshold for interested behavior. Meaning that friendly behavior by women is likely to be misjudged as interested behavior by men due to the threshold differences in labelling behavior as a sign of interest, which is why men often think women are flirting with them when they're merely being friendly.

Gender-based perceptual difference? Maybe that is an interesting idea.

Let me try to make it a bit more cut an dry. Assuming women are generally going to be more used to social activity (lots of explanations for this thought, if you're curious ask), they will have more experience with it, which leads to a better understanding of its gradients as well as a broader appreciation that attention does not always mean affection, certainly possible. Could also explain why ignoring a woman can be powerful, would be like taking a fish out of water.

Conversely men being from a less social world could be more inclined to misunderstand attention as equal to affection because for a man's world affection and attention often are the same things. As a result men are more capable of misunderstanding that a woman's attention isn't inherently about attraction.

Let me give an anecdote on this one:

I'm quite aloof by nature, variety of reasons. Periodically in my life a person has misunderstood this aspect of my personality. While both genders are capable of misunderstanding my aloof nature, women by and large are the ones who are more likely to take offence to it. I have very rarely been called on it by a guy, and usually at the behest of a woman or women. The guys who do call me on it are generally razzing me about it.

The other part of this and more topical to the OP, I am apparently flirty as hell when I'm being playful. It isn't something I do on purpose just sort of how it works out. So perhaps much like some women, what for me is friendly and playful just happens to be flirty to other people.

So perhaps in my case the juxtaposition of those traits causes more confusion, but I think the bell curve of gender experiences is definitely in play here.

Do men largely consider attention an addition while women are more inclined to take it as a given?

Originally Posted by Mountainshepherd

Gender-based perceptual difference? Maybe that is an interesting idea.

I'm a psychology major with a minor in sociology. Whenever I chime in on these kind of topics it's because I have specific knowledge of the subject because it's something I've actually studied and I'm familiar with the literature on the subject, some of which I actually have in my library. There are a lot of aspects of human behavior which interests me, and so--true to my Fiveness--I have a broad base of knowledge about human behavior, both from internal (psychological) and external (sociological) factors.

@Master Mind
Thank you for bringing that up. It makes a lot of sense.
@Mountainshepherd
Thank you for building on what Master Mind put forth here.

I think a woman's flirting if she touches her hair a lot or twirls it around while smiling, if they laugh at my terrible jokes and if they touch me. Another big indicator is if she keeps eye contact for a long time as well.

Originally Posted by Mountainshepherd

Do men largely consider attention an addition while women are more inclined to take it as a given?

Could you rephrase the question? Attention as an addition or a given in what sense?

So men, in general, are bumbling oblivious idiots that women openly admit having fun messing with, and it's up to the bumbling oblivious idiot to wisen up, and change his tune, while the "innocent" woman having fun messing with him can keep having fun messing with him until he no longer falls for it. Or even continue when he does stop falling for it. You know, because she's innocent. Totally unaware of her own actions. No meeting in the middle, whatsoever.

I can't help but picturing the couples from sitcoms like Family Guy or Everybody Loves Raymond. Women are perfect in every way, and their guys, even their own partners, are little more than playthings. Like a cat with a mouse.

Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer

So men, in general, are bumbling oblivious idiots that women openly admit having fun messing with, and it's up to the bumbling oblivious idiot to wisen up, and change his tune, while the "innocent" woman having fun messing with him can keep having fun messing with him until he no longer falls for it. Or even continue when he does stop falling for it. You know, because she's innocent. Totally unaware of her own actions. No meeting in the middle, whatsoever.

I can't help but picturing the couples from sitcoms like Family Guy or Everybody Loves Raymond. Women are perfect in every way, and their guys, even their own partners, are little more than playthings. Like a cat with a mouse.

What? Are you in the proper thread because that isn't what I've seen being discussed here.