The Suicide Test

OkCupid | Take The Suicide Test

The Rubber Ducky

You are suicide method #13###
Good lord...people who come to you for help are looking for serious answers to some pretty fucked up questions. You are suicide via electricity in the bathtub.

Not only do you offer no promises, but when you actually decide to make yourself useful, you blow people away.

It's hard to imagine the kind of sick desperation that leads people in your direction. They're probably really old and can't be bothered to muster much energy of their own.

At your best, you're a massive radio built in the '70s...channeling the full brunt of household electricity when dropped into water...or accidentally tipped over by a fucking cat.

At your worst, you're some newfangled piece of shit from Target. You know...complete with safety triggers and all those other sissy safety gadgets.

My advice to you? Invest some time in computers. There's just got to be a way for you to do your job in the 21st century.

The Chicken Winner

You are suicide method #13###
Ever played the game "Chicken" before? I think you have, and you won every time. You are suicide by speeding train or automobile.

Rather than take the lead, you're perfectly comfortable waiting for the right moment to make your move. And when you do? Big fucking mess. It takes a lot of courage to be you, and that's why you inspire wonder in those around you.

At your best, you're a freight train at top speed approaching someone having chosen to use your railroad tracks as a pillow. At worst? You're a poorly timed leap in front of a Civic.


Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

You scored 68% on suicidepoints, higher than 99% of your peers.

The Swinger

Classic, morbid and emotionally scarring for whoever discovers you. You are suicide by hanging.

You offer the most basic solution to living. Even the uneducated and unimaginitive find solace in your abilities because you appeal to just about everyone. You can be extremely painful when consulted in ignorance, but hell, that's part of your charm, right?

At your best, you are a sturdy rope with a well-tied noose. Kick, snap, darkness. At worst, you are a phone chord tied around a light fixture. Kick, crash, why am I still alive?

The Swinger

Classic, morbid and emotionally scarring for whoever discovers you. You are suicide by hanging.

You offer the most basic solution to living. Even the uneducated and unimaginitive find solace in your abilities because you appeal to just about everyone. You can be extremely painful when consulted in ignorance, but hell, that's part of your charm, right?

At your best, you are a sturdy rope with a well-tied noose. Kick, snap, darkness. At worst, you are a phone chord tied around a light fixture. Kick, crash, why am I still alive?

The Sunday Driver

Wow...you are consumate desperation with a flare for drama. You are suicide by motor vehicle.
A great many people wish they could be like you, but precious few have the bravery to make it happen. You offer a tremendous rush of adrenalin right up to the very end, and an impressive news headline afterward...complete with breathtaking photo opportunities and maybe even an innocent bystander or two.
At your best, you are a long plummet off a bridge at no less than 80mph. You're also a head-on collision with a semi or concrete wall at the same rate of speed.
At your worst? You're a severe rear-ender.
So go ahead...let people come to you for help; you're gonna render their airbags about as useful as a makeshift baloon condom on prom night.

You scored 57% on suicidepoints, higher than 87% of your peers.



Woo o.O

The Rubber Ducky
You are suicide method #13###
Good lord...people who come to you for help are looking for serious answers to some pretty fucked up questions. You are suicide via electricity in the bathtub.
Not only do you offer no promises, but when you actually decide to make yourself useful, you blow people away.
It's hard to imagine the kind of sick desperation that leads people in your direction. They're probably really old and can't be bothered to muster much energy of their own.
At your best, you're a massive radio built in the '70s...channeling the full brunt of household electricity when dropped into water...or accidentally tipped over by a fucking cat.
At your worst, you're some newfangled piece of shit from Target. You know...complete with safety triggers and all those other sissy safety gadgets.
My advice to you? Invest some time in computers. There's just got to be a way for you to do your job in the 21st century.

The Swinger

You are suicide method #13###
Classic, morbid and emotionally scarring for whoever discovers you. You are suicide by hanging.

You offer the most basic solution to living. Even the uneducated and unimaginative find solace in your abilities because you appeal to just about everyone. You can be extremely painful when consulted in ignorance, but hell, that's part of your charm, right?

At your best, you are a sturdy rope with a well-tied noose. Kick, snap, darkness. At worst, you are a phone chord tied around a light fixture. Kick, crash, why am I still alive?


I thought I would be something more creative than that.

The Rubber Ducky
You are suicide method #13###
Good lord...people who come to you for help are looking for serious answers to some pretty fucked up questions. You are suicide via electricity in the bathtub.
Not only do you offer no promises, but when you actually decide to make yourself useful, you blow people away.
It's hard to imagine the kind of sick desperation that leads people in your direction. They're probably really old and can't be bothered to muster much energy of their own.
At your best, you're a massive radio built in the '70s...channeling the full brunt of household electricity when dropped into water...or accidentally tipped over by a fucking cat.
At your worst, you're some newfangled piece of shit from Target. You know...complete with safety triggers and all those other sissy safety gadgets.
My advice to you? Invest some time in computers. There's just got to be a way for you to do your job in the 21st century.
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Your result for The Suicide Test ...

The Rubber Ducky
You are suicide method #13###

Good lord...people who come to you for help are looking for serious answers to some pretty fucked up questions. You are suicide via electricity in the bathtub.
Not only do you offer no promises, but when you actually decide to make yourself useful, you blow people away.

It's hard to imagine the kind of sick desperation that leads people in your direction. They're probably really old and can't be bothered to muster much energy of their own.

At your best, you're a massive radio built in the '70s...channeling the full brunt of household electricity when dropped into water...or accidentally tipped over by a fucking cat.

At your worst, you're some newfangled piece of shit from Target. You know...complete with safety triggers and all those other sissy safety gadgets.

My advice to you? Invest some time in computers. There's just got to be a way for you to do your job in the 21st century.

- - - - - -

Yeah, I've got you pretty well figured out by now.
You're into my style, so check out my fashion.

Welcome to UberVanity.com

(Don't worry about losing your place on OkCupid. It will stay open in a separate window)
Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)


You scored 50% on suicidepoints, higher than 64% of your peers.

WTF man just wtf...