[Tezkatlipoca]

You know that scene in movies and books where the father/father-figure says, “I’m proud of you” for the first time and it’s supposed to be this big emotionally powerful moment of release, where the protagonist has finally pleased his stodgy old father/father-figure? Am I the only one who finds such scenes pathetic? I understand why it appeals to people—but instead of fulfilling people’s desires to please paternal authority figures, why don’t we instead teach them to be satisfied with their own accomplishments, even if they don’t get that validation?







TAA blog

[NoelleShanice]

I wasn't close to my dad until now when I'm in my mid-20s. I'm only close now b/c he's retired and need me to run errands for him like take him to the doctor and get his medication and handle his Medicare and insurances. However, I've never seek for his approval on anything. I had more of a mother issue than a father issue. I think movies and novels like these stemmed from the creator or writers' own personal experience about lacking a father figure in their lives.

[Thomas60]

Confirmation does let you become aware thus take advantage of increased reputation.
Someone who validates you, will often provide help and attention, a better social contract.

It means less if someone validates you every day, since there is little new in the social contract.

[Tezkatlipoca]

Confirmation does let you become aware thus take advantage of increased reputation.
Someone who validates you, will often provide help and attention, a better social contract.

It means less if someone validates you every day, since there is little new in the social contract.

While that's good and all, don't you think that this validation should be more subjective than a necessity that you should spend your entire life trying to work towards? If a parent doesn't immediately provide you with unconditional love and support. Then why would you feel compelled to work towards something that should be granted at birth? Stupid and cruel if you ask me.

[gingertonic]

While that's good and all, don't you think that this validation should be more subjective than a necessity that you should spend your entire life trying to work towards? If a parent doesn't immediately provide you with unconditional love and support. Then why would you feel compelled to work towards something that should be granted at birth? Stupid and cruel if you ask me.

Biological love is unconditional, pride in your children is not. Your inferior Je makes it hard for you to understand outside decision-making factors, let alone the personal ones of Fe.

[Thomas60]

While that's good and all, don't you think that this validation should be more subjective than a necessity that you should spend your entire life trying to work towards? If a parent doesn't immediately provide you with unconditional love and support. Then why would you feel compelled to work towards something that should be granted at birth? Stupid and cruel if you ask me.

As life's purpose, parental approval is pretty lame I agree.
I might need unconditional love defining in terms of "how parents feel" as opposed to "how parents act", before I agree it as an ongoing birth right as I think withholding affection and support are reasonable tools against bad values.

[Tezkatlipoca]

Biological love is unconditional, pride in your children is not. Your inferior Je makes it hard for you to understand outside decision-making factors, let alone the personal ones of Fe.

Let's look at the definition of pride, "A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired". "Widely admired" as in a societal norm that is widely appreciated, it seems to me parents nowadays are trying too hard to mold their children into what THEY want them to be rather than leaving their individual person be. If this is the case then this "pride" is entirely subjective and one should not even have to worry about something as arbitrary as getting your father to conceit worthless bullshit about his child.

[Tezkatlipoca]

As life's purpose, parental approval is pretty lame I agree.
I might need unconditional love defining in terms of "how parents feel" as opposed to "how parents act", before I agree it as an ongoing birth right as I think withholding affection and support are reasonable tools against bad values.

I don't think it's anyones place to exactly decide what a bad value is. For all we know that person could feel eating cake at 10:30 pm on a Sunday is a "bad value."

[gingertonic]

Let's look at the definition of pride, "A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired". "Widely admired" as in a societal norm that is widely appreciated, it seems to me parents nowadays are trying too hard to mold their children into what THEY want them to be rather than leaving their individual person be. If this is the case then this "pride" is entirely subjective and one should not even have to worry about something as arbitrary as getting your father to conceit worthless bullshit about his child.

You missed the important definition that ACTUALLY applies here.

A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired"

Don't cherrypick definitions.

[Tezkatlipoca]

You missed the important definition that ACTUALLY applies here.

A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired"

Don't cherrypick definitions.

Let's look at the synonyms here then; arrogance, haughtiness, vanity, conceit, glory, boast, any of these terms are rarely used in a good or optimistic manner towards another person(except for maybe glory). The problem is that either way you are still expressing an arbitrary pride towards something that doesn't matter or shouldn't matter rather. Whether you feel the definition is cherry picked or not it still chucks the same rock.