[chexiie]

I'm 5'7" and overweight, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week to do cardio and strength straining, but I'm still 5'7" and overweight.

I have heard that what you eat accounts for 80% of how your body looks weight-wise, and 20% is exercise. You didn't mention about what you eat but maybe some changes might help? I am always trying to make changes to my diet but somehow I still go back to carbs and sugar XD Mmm I love them~

[DarwinsBastard]

I have heard that what you eat accounts for 80% of how your body looks weight-wise, and 20% is exercise. You didn't mention about what you eat but maybe some changes might help? I am always trying to make changes to my diet but somehow I still go back to carbs and sugar XD Mmm I love them~

it's true, and I have made some changes (I now eat 0 refined sugar)

but I still get sucked in by those damned carbs

[chexiie]

it's true, and I have made some changes (I now eat 0 refined sugar)

but I still get sucked in by those damned carbs

I am the same!! I have been trying to give up sugar since the new year, and have been moderately successful, but I do fall off the wagon a bit so am not quite there yet. I have certainly cut it back though. BUT, carbs!! Argh!! I love bread! I just don't know what to replace carbs with... vegetables make me feel good for eating them but they are generally quite boring to me.

Well done on cutting out the refined sugar, that's an awesome achievement! :)

[musicalmeggie]

Oh yes, definitely! I feel like I'm kind of a small personality (to the outside world, of course ;)) but I'm almost 6 feet tall (although I say 5'11") which just makes me feel more awkward. Everyone says to own my height, that I look like a model, but I don't know, I feel like I don't have a tall personality. That's one of my biggest insecurities. I do feel like my hair and eyes and everything match me though.

I have a hard time being dressed up, too. I am a minimalist when it comes to hair and makeup, and when my friends do me up, it feels like I'm not myself and it really really really bothers me. I know its childish, but I feel like I'm trying to be like the "popular" kids from high school, which I'm not. I try to make my appearance as much a reflection of who I truly am as possible. I wear simple, but pretty clothes and I try to do the same with my makeup. I don't know if its an NF like thing, but I really don't like to stand out because of my appearance (or the car I drive or whatever). I don't like to be ostentatious. I want people to get to know me for who I am. I can't do anything about my height, though. I'm trying to get used to it.

Also, when I see pictures of myself, its rare that I connect that with myself. Sometimes I feel like I have to tell myself "That's me." Its funny to see pictures of me when I was younger too... Maybe its conceited, but I feel like I was really pretty in pictures of me when I was three or four, like this cute little girl in frilly dresses with wispy blonde hair, and I really like that, but because I don't remember what it was like, its hard to connect that with who I am today. I try to look at the pictures and imagine what I was like back then. I ask my mom lots of things about what I was like, and I really like when I am able to remember, or when I'm like "Oh yeah, that's definitely me." As I've gotten older and been able to reflect on the past, I feel like I've gotten a better picture of who I am overall. I kind of like that. (sorry for rambling. =/)

[OldNewBorrowedTardis]

YES OP! You hit the nail on the head!

I tend to forget what I look like and forget that people see a visual version of me and then I get reminded by passing a huge mirror in the shop and then get freaked out that I've been going around looking as I do.

Something I never really thought about but it's strange that I 'forget' that I have a physical presence in the world...or maybe I'm just stupid xD

[bookbutterfly]

I tend to forget what I look like and forget that people see a visual version of me and then I get reminded by passing a huge mirror in the shop and then get freaked out that I've been going around looking as I do.

Something I never really thought about but it's strange that I 'forget' that I have a physical presence in the world...or maybe I'm just stupid xD

YES! I do exactly that. For some reason, when I picture myself socializing with others, the girl I imagine is me doesn't look ANYTHING like the real me. And so it's always a huge reality check when I catch a glance of what I really look like, and I feel so embarrassed because I think, "Oh my gosh, that's how I look?! People don't want to be around someone like that!" :P It's really annoying...sigh. :P

Oh, and I hear you! I don't think it's dumb at all...maybe it's just because as intuitives, we see the big picture and remember that there are tons of other people in the world, so we think, "Why would someone focus on just me? There are millions of other people out there!"

[OldNewBorrowedTardis]

YES! I do exactly that. For some reason, when I picture myself socializing with others, the girl I imagine is me doesn't look ANYTHING like the real me. And so it's always a huge reality check when I catch a glance of what I really look like, and I feel so embarrassed because I think, "Oh my gosh, that's how I look?! People don't want to be around someone like that!" :P It's really annoying...sigh. :P

Oh, and I hear you! I don't think it's dumb at all...maybe it's just because as intuitives, we see the big picture and remember that there are tons of other people in the world, so we think, "Why would someone focus on just me? There are millions of other people out there!"

That's an excellent way of looking at it!

[cinderfreakinella]

Just had this conversation with my mum.

Have you ever felt like the way you look, isn't *you*?

Inwardly, I've always felt like a small, innocent, cute person that needs protecting and is quite vulnerable to the outside world. I feel like I should be lady like, petite and have some what of a dancers body, youthful, small bust and body etc.

In reality, I'm 5'8, broad hips and shoulders, small bust (well that bit was done right) but, I'm described as having a soft voice, a youthful face and fresh skin.

I also feel like I should be a natural blonde, because I can be quite ditzy.

I used to have more of an image of big and clumsy, but I've kind of outgrown that.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see an obese person- I actually see myself as being about 15 kilos lighter than I am. I can put on nice clothes, make my hair look pretty and put on makeup and feel fine about leaving the house, but then I see photos of myself, and am thankful that I am somewhat delusional about my appearance, otherwise I would never leave the house.

I wonder how I would feel about my body and appearance if I ever got down to the 63-70 kilos I am dying to weigh, and if I managed to tone up/get rid of my flab. Would I look in the mirror and see me? I've always felt like my outsides don't match my insides.

I feel like I would be more comfortable looking like Taylor Swift or Jessica Alba. Then again, I can't imagine waking up looking like them in the morning, I still don't feel like I would look like ''me''. It makes me wonder what really makes a person. We can only play around with the natural mold that God has given us, in terms of facial and body shape. The rest can be adjusted with plastic surgery, makeup, hair dye and styling products and clothing.

I'm not looking for advice or validation- that's not the point. Sometimes, I go through periods of life feeling very happy with the way I look! Its more a discussion of how common this experience of disconnection with body and mind is, and if its affected you. I think its an interesting topic. It makes you consider, if you had full customisation, and choices over the way you look, from beginning to end, how would you choose to look? Its a lot easier to consider how you look now, and make small changes from there, whether realistic/possible

I can totally relate to this. I'm 5'10" and 160 lbs. I always get comments about how "skinny" I am but its all about proportion. I'm not tiny. But sometimes in my head I feel like I am. I have delusions of "princessnes" as well lol. I feel strong and capable in some moods, and small and vulnerable in others. I also feel prettier and at the same time not as attractive in my head, as I actually am. I know when I look in the mirror that I am average. I'm fine with how I look. But I get what you mean, I see pictures of myself, and I'm like "crap. I looked way better in my bathroom" lol But if I felt that way before I left, I would never leave lol.

In all, I'm happy with how I am. Would I get implants if I could afford them? Heck Ya. If I could wake up one day miraculously 4 inches shorter and 40 lbs lighter would I be happier with my body? probably. I've accepted myself for what I am, and try not to dwell. But yes in that world inside my head I don't match up with what actually appears on the outside.

[1stBass]

Have you ever felt like the way you look, isn't *you*?

Hah, story of my life. I'm a transman (transdude?) and it feels like I'm renting somebody else's body out. Like someday I'll just give it back to someone else and get "mine..."

But I just try to modify it to fit what I assume I look like in my head. Never quite works... I feel like I'm missing a beard, maybe?