Afraid to Feel?

**Ace Face** · 02-03-2012 08:21 PM

All right, my fellow NFs, I have an interesting question to pose. Have you ever been afraid to feel?

Why or why not? Explain.

:)

**Senter** · 02-03-2012 08:22 PM

yuhp. when i was a lot younger experimenting and learning about myself there was a time where i thought feelings were just uncontrollable things that you had to punch into place.

**The King Of Dreams** · 02-04-2012 07:23 AM

Sometimes I didn't like to feel because of the negative aspects of it.

**Sheppard** · 02-04-2012 07:32 AM

Oh, very much so. Yes. The why is complex. But it was either joy or sorrow. Between the ages of roughly 18 and ... lets say 27, I didn't know how to cry. I really just couldn't do it. I felt the feelings, the welling up, or dispair, but they wouldn't go out. They were stuck, and then they would slowly be swallowed up, and go away. And if it went too far, if it was too much, my shadow exploded to the surface and all feelings were simply shut down, completely. For stretches up to 10 hours or so, I would have none, none at all. These were my defenses, the walls I had built up. And when I first constructed them, they were needed. But they were acting as a pressure cooker. What was inside couldn't get out. And likewise, and this was the original purpose of those walls, what was outside could not get in. Not only though. I grew up ... well, in a demanding enviornment, lets put it like that. Expressions of either sorrow were punished, because those were irrational, and weak. To be strong, you had to be hard. And a little later I ended up in a situation where on the other hand joy was punished, because that would mean that I might break free of dependency. Walls upon walls to protect the core inside. But life is made of sterner stuff than any wall, and some experiences are so big that none can withstand them, not with all the willpower in the world. My castle fell, thankfully after I no longer needed it, and while that was painful, it was also a very good thing to happen.

**Nasmoe** · 02-04-2012 07:51 AM

I've only been afraid to feel pain or anything negative. Makes me feel to weak to live sometimes.

**Bumblyjack** · 02-04-2012 08:04 AM

I always love feeling strongly, even negative feelings. I never tried to nor wanted to not feel. On the other hand, a lot of times I don't show others what I'm feeling. I control whether or not I express my emotions and I usually hold back negative ones unless I have some reason to share them. I let happiness and excitement flow freely though.

**Sheppard** · 02-04-2012 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by Bumblyjack

I always love feeling strongly, even negative feelings. I never tried to nor wanted to not feel. On the other hand, a lot of times I don't show others what I'm feeling. I control whether or not I express my emotions and I usually hold back negative ones unless I have some reason to share them. I let happiness and excitement flow freely though.

That makes me wonder if the extroversion of the feelings, the expressing of it, is a fundamental part to feeling for someone with a Fe function. Hm. I think, in me, showing the feeling is part of having it at all. Do you think that is a Fe / Fi thing, or just me? :)

**MuChApArAdOx** · 02-04-2012 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by Sheppard

That makes me wonder if the extroversion of the feelings, the expressing of it, is a fundamental part to feeling for someone with a Fe function. Hm. I think, in me, showing the feeling is part of having it at all. Do you think that is a Fe / Fi thing, or just me? :)

That is Fe.:)

**nádej** · 02-04-2012 08:20 AM

Sometimes I become an emotional junkie on things like movies, music, books, other people's experiences...because I love feeling. And crave it. But those types of feelings are still somewhat in control. I am choosing to watch that movie or hear that story, etc, etc.

I'm never afraid to feel in that kind of way.

I have been afraid to feel in matters that are beyond my control. The true stuff. The real stuff. The stuff that is happening and going on whether I like it or not. I avoid it sometimes and try to ignore everything and pretend like things are fine (or overdose on getting my emotions from elsewhere like stated above) because it's all so overwhelming. And there's this fear that if I open myself up to really feeling it all, I'm going to fall so far down this hole and never be able to get out.

**Bumblyjack** · 02-04-2012 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by Sheppard

That makes me wonder if the extroversion of the feelings, the expressing of it, is a fundamental part to feeling for someone with a Fe function. Hm. I think, in me, showing the feeling is part of having it at all. Do you think that is a Fe / Fi thing, or just me? :)

I'm not exactly sure how it works. I always thought my feelings were meant mostly for myself and that choosing to share them with someone was something I would do to try to connect with them, show them respect, or show them disrespect. It's usually a conscious choice (Except when I think something's really funny, I laugh like an idiot whether I want to or not. Then again, I can hold in laughter when I want...I just rarely want to because it's so enjoyable.). To me, it often seems like people with strong Fe express their feelings almost automatically and if they want to hide them they have to work hard at it. Then again, I grew up with two Fe-doms: my ESFJ mother and my ENFJ brother. Talk about terrible poker faces lol.