[Vivid Sunset]

Definitely not afraid to feel.

For the longest time I considered emotions to be a problem, since I'm a male and males are socialized to not feel anything and also when I looked around nobody I observed seemed to indicate that they felt anything (unless it was in response to something significant), so I tend to keep my emotional responses hidden. I did at least try to fit the male cultural mold of not feeling anything, but it wasn't successful at all. For a couple years I did manage to numb most of the deeper emotions. Then one day about a year ago (and a month before being introduced to the MBTI) that I realized that I missed the deep feeling I used to have.



Right now, I'm not a complete emotion junkie, going from one emotional high (or low) to the next. I experience the emotion down to the core, but then I then let it go (particularly for negative emotions). Even still, I do indulge on occasion for both highs and lows.

It's probably an enneagram thing.

[WoodsofDesolation]

I'm afraid of anyone who would want to know my innermost feelings and would use that to relate to me beyond what most people do. I'm also afraid of being the person who is willing to do that. I don't know why, but I think that's too much closeness. Too close for comfort.

[Akbar2k7]

All right, my fellow NFs, I have an interesting question to pose. Have you ever been afraid to feel?

Why or why not? Explain.

:)

Cause feeling makes me kind and kindness is a weakness therefore feeling is weak.

Sigh this cold world is turning me into an ENTJ why cant people be nice!

[WolfStar]

Yes. Feeling anger makes me feel judgemental and harsh. Feeling sadness makes me feel weak and vulnerable. There is another feeling I have, but it's too complicated for this.

But yes, I am afraid of expressing my feelings quite often. Been workin' very hard on that, though.

[kaleidoscope]

I think I'm afraid to feel love. The thought of falling head over heels in love with someone petrifies me a little

In previous relationships I have considered at the time that I was in love. However, looking back, I now question the validity of these feelings. Was I in fact just obsessed with the notion of being in love? Of course, it doesn't help that I was unfortunately in a very bad relationship for many years with a fellow ENFP (a very unhealthy one)

It's strange. I am a very emotional person; and yet, when it comes to 'love' and romantic relationships, I begin to rationalise everything. I become uncharacteristically logical when trying to understand my feelings. I have even been accused of being an emotionless robot by a guy who was interested in me!

Perhaps this is merely the result of bad experiences from my past. But, it is something I am working on! I have spent 5 years avoiding any form of 'romantic' relationship because of this fear. But this is not who I am. I'm actually a very playful puppy, full of affection and love!

Maybe I'm afraid to feel because I have supressed these feelings for so long?

Watch out world?!

This. This, so much.

[velvetoveralls]

God, I'm afraid to feel, too. I hate admitting it because it makes me seem kind of heartless, but I just.... I think it's because I know that if I feel, I feel all the way and everything, and that is just too much most of the time. The few times I let my emotions eat me up, I couldn't even function normally. So now I just block things out.

[aravis]

I'm afraid of feeling when I'm in a situation that I want to control. But whenever I admit that no, I am not in control, I let them pass through me and eventually make peace.

[setzer]

I'm afraid to feel.
When I was younger I had a real hard time to vent what I felt.
My mom had to tell me time and time again that it was ok to cry. I just sat there with my head in my hand and looked at the floor not wanting to feel. This has been something that I kept doing until recently, when ever suppressed feeling from days gone all came and said hi.
Nowadays I try to keep emotions on a "normal" level. But it's so hard since it's usually all or nothing... And when I start to feel everything tends to take a negative turn so I wont be disappointed with anything but it ends up with being depressed because of my pessimistic outlook.
And I have a tendency hide my feelings from others as well... Except when I'm really exhausted. Then I stop caring so much about what others think of me.

[Xiong Mao]

I'm an NT and I'm always afraid to feel. I guess it's because I'm scared of how feeling with interfere with my decision making process. I'm not saying that I don't feel; I'd just prefer not to get to involved because then it gets harder to take/follow (a previous) course of action.

[snowbell]

I am not afraid to feel, more so now because I'm more aware of why, and how important they are. My feelings help to provide a sense of constance and balance, when I'm lost or confused or scared. They serve as an anchor to my more drifting tendencies, and help me to understand my role and place in the world. I think this quote, from INFPBlog sums it up well:

INFPs know when something we’re doing feels wrong. I may not know if I’m doing it right, but I definitely know if I’m doing it wrong.

It serves as a kind of "operating manual" that tells you which way not to go - even if that may not always be much, it can be a powerful aid. I'm now discovering that even when upset, or down, or feeling low, taking the time to sit down, pay attention, and just feel without filtering, and to work through everything can let me see exactly why I'm upset, and that lets me know what I need to do to fix it and to continue onwards. Maybe I'm just used to being like this, or I don't know any other way to go, but I can't imagine not having it... It seems almost to be the case, that everything (cognitive function stack) is structured towards making me make sense of how I feel, even (Fi being the feeling, guiding actions, beliefs, and values, and providing a sense of place in the world, Ne bringing new ideas and extrapolating from them (and what they make me feel), and Si referencing the information to past events and connecting it to their evoked feelings).

Like someone else said, I think not feeling would be far more scary - you'd be numb to everything - the things that make you happy, sad, excited, scared, everything, would be gone - what would life be like, then? Empty, I think, and you'd be just sitting and going through the motions, with nothing to look forwards to, or no reason to hope: after all, we hope for a better place, a place in which we are happier, and things are at peace, right? What do you wish for if peace and happiness don't exist?

To return to answering the question, though, I think what I'm more afraid of is showing those feelings, as not everyone is able or willing to deal with them, and that can expose vulnerability or awkwardness into things, which isn't always useful or appropriate. I think that sums it up in a nutshell - my feelings are mine to deal with, not anyone else's, and I may not always not know what to do with them, but rather I misunderstand and misuse them, than someone else.