I don't mean to be rude and I know this is an old post, but reading your response was almost too much for me.An example would be when I got pregnant. I was so excited that when he called me from work to tell me about a job change, I also told him I was pregnant (with our second child) His response: "That's not what I wanted to hear". I wanted the excitement an hugs that usually come with this kind of news. He stressed about having another kid instead of just for the moment being happy. He loves his daughter, don't get me wrong, but does not know how to be emotional. He was emotionally distant for some time after that news.
Another time is when I was sick. I had some serious neurological issues that were difficult to diagnose. Some Drs thought MS, or Lou Gherig's disease, and till this day, I have undiagnosed neuropathies on both sides of my body. (The doctor said up to 35% of neuropathies are undiagnosed) Instead of trying to comfort me through these illnesses, he turns cold and basically tells me to get over it. He does not know how to be emotional. And forget cuddling!! I get a hug IF he thinks I need it. And it's forced. It is kind of sad at times, but I deal with it.
But, like I said before if I make a list of the good in him vs. the list of the bad, the good list is much longer. Nothing in this world is going to be perfect. I just have to deal with it.