NFs and being bullied at school.

**HollyGolightly** · 09-04-2009 07:54 AM

I don't mean to generalise but I have noticed that NFs are prone to being bullied, especially the introverts.
I was wondering if you ever experienced bullying and how you dealt with it and how you deal with it now (e.g. painful memories).
I think it would be interesting to see if extroverted NFs deal with it differently to introverted NFs.
And I was wondering, do NFs generally find it hard to be in a classroom environment and interact with other kids their age? I've found that this is usually the case.
Just curious :)
And as always, your thoughts on this please :)

**HollyGolightly** · 09-04-2009 08:03 AM

Well I shall start off as I don't like to ask people to do things that I wouldn't do.
I hated school, right from my first day at playgroup (yup I can remember that far back).
I have recently dropped out. I can't take being in a classroom environment. I feel drowned by the bigger personalities.
I was bullied constantly at school because I acted and looked different. There wasn't a class where somebody didn't have a problem with me.
So school is not for me :)
The way I have dealt with it is leave and try and find a way of being educated, but where I can work alone and on my own initiative.
I have also remained true to myself. That's the only way that I can give the bullies their answer: YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED ME OR BROKEN ME.

**Verdant Hollow** · 09-04-2009 08:19 AM

I find that Ns in general are more prone to being bullied, especially INs. I know quite a few NFs that were bullied, especially the INFPs.

I'm not going to give my personal story, because I'm not an NF, so that would detract from the thread. But, while the bullying never broke me, it certainly changed me.

*hugs Holly* Keep it up. Don't let those meanie ST guys and SF mind-raking girls get to you :P

From the sound of it, it seems like the INFJ (maybe along with the INTP) would benefit from homeschooling the most out of all the types. Anyone else agree?

**HollyGolightly** · 09-04-2009 08:24 AM

Yeah I agree tmdg
And you can post whatever you like here. You're welcome anytime. I wouldn't mid hearing views from all types.
I was actually bullied by mainly NFs... :)
Yeah I think the INFJ would benefit from homeschooling the most out of all the types. Well it would have suited me fine :)

**Verdant Hollow** · 09-04-2009 08:29 AM

NFs bullying you? Must have all been ENFJs. The jerks :P

**HollyGolightly** · 09-04-2009 08:32 AM

Ermm... they were actually.
How did you guess?
*is in awe of your wisdom*
*bows*

**crzysttchr** · 09-04-2009 08:38 AM

I was terribly bullied as a child, so much so that I reverted into myself and became a loner. It wasn't until I reached age 16 that I seem to have come more into myself. then unfortunately I met my ex at 17 and was controlled for far too long. When I hit my mid 30's is when I bloomed and became who I truly am now..(I was also abused (as a child by a family member)- details are too far buried in me - and i know that had an influence on me... i did not realize that this had happened until i was in my 20's.... it is amazing how much we truly don't know about ourselves, or how our "mind" will hide things to protect us).

I now will champion for the underdog and demanded that my kids (who are all very confident and extroverts) be the same. They will even stand up to their father (in a good way). I know that things happen for a reason, but I don't know why I was bullied. It may have been that I was too sensitive or a loner and drew the aggressors.

Lynn

**Verdant Hollow** · 09-04-2009 08:44 AM

I learned a lot from being bullied. It wasn't fun, but I owe a lot of the constructive steps I took to those who punished me for being different.

Did you learn any lessons from your bullying?

Also, was the bullying mostly when you were in grammar school or in high school? I suspect it was later on in your school career, which is sadly the least constructive time to be bullied :(

**HollyGolightly** · 09-04-2009 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by crzysttchr

I was terribly bullied as a child, so much so that I reverted into myself and became a loner. It wasn't until I reached age 16 that I seem to have come more into myself. then unfortunately I met my ex at 17 and was controlled for far too long. When I hit my mid 30's is when I bloomed and became who I truly am now..(I was also abused (as a child by a family member)- details are too far buried in me - and i know that had an influence on me... i did not realize that this had happened until i was in my 20's.... it is amazing how much we truly don't know about ourselves, or how our "mind" will hide things to protect us).

I now will champion for the underdog and demanded that my kids (who are all very confident and extroverts) be the same. They will even stand up to their father (in a good way). I know that things happen for a reason, but I don't know why I was bullied. It may have been that I was too sensitive or a loner and drew the aggressors.

Lynn

Hey Lynn :)
They are reasons why you were bullied, but none of them were your fault. Some people are just sick in the head an prey on people like you. But the best answer you can give them is not to change and to continue to be a good person. But that's a hard thing to do, I know. i find it hard even now.
And I think you're a really strong person. I really admire you :)

**Sily** · 09-04-2009 08:55 AM

It has been years and years since I was at school but I don't remember a lot of bullying in school. I truly think my self-preservation skills are way too strong. I don't like a lot of conflict and I think I know how to protect myself from physical or emotional harm. I just didn't attract it into my life. Once I did mumble something to another girl on the bus (she was pregnant for the second time and was only 16 I think) I said quietly "she's probably pregnant again" and she heard it. Man o man.... she picked on me until the bus driver had to pull over the bus and say something. But I think I may have been asking for that one. That's the only think I can think of. I'm not perfect.. lol.. should have kept my mouth shut there I guess.

Now on the internet.. it's a different story. I make it very easy for anyone to find me as I never change my name. The following could either be my own *pathology* or my true-fantastic-super-duper-intuition but I always have the feeling on these INFP forums, that some of my enemies from the past, have taken up the "INFP identity" and are playing the INFP identity (let's say IRL they are ENFJ or ENTJ) and they trash the INFP personality type whenever they can. A perfect example would be submitting to a site that all INFPs like the rain or all INFPs are wounded to the core. Or saying stuff like "INFP is the worst type ever" or "what good are INFPs, wouldn't the world be better off without all INFPs?". Multiple accounts they have under different proxies and names. I view this as bullying, yes. What I try and do is respond to a few posts as "please don't include me in your hate of yourself" or "please don't use ALL, WE, US, when you speak" or sometimes I will throw the Ignore Button on them right way.

Like I said, I might be right or wrong about what I'm feeling, or, it may just be that some people I don't know, love to come into threads and say "INFPs suck" just to get a reaction. And then someone might say .. "Sily, why don't you stand up to people like that to end it?" Well, this is the way I view bullies... they want my attention or the attention of "someone". I feel like they are looking at me saying "I just said something absurd.. why won't you react?". Most of the time, I don't feel like they are worth any attention. And I hope that whatever mod is around would help out with killing a "all INFPs suck" or "there's nothing good about INFPs" post.

Sorry if this is too long.