[jdmn]

Hello. I've been reading posts of my fellow NF brothers and sisters and I've seen many negative stuff about our self esteems. Some of us are pretty healthy, but many of us too have deep insecurities, dependecies on other people, incapacity to say no, a negative self image, self pity, and so on, so on...

That's why I would like to ask you guys, how healthy is your self esteem? If it's healthy, how have you managed to keep this good love of yourself? If it's not, what are the causes, background and effects of your low self esteem? Have you ever done something to control it, like, counselling, etc, etc..?? I made this thread for the ENFJs, but I think this issue is general in NFs too.



Shoot all the information you've got! We can arrive to solutions for this self esteem trouble

[VivaCohen]

Well it was so low that there was nowhere to go but up lol... I had medical problems related to my self-esteem in high school. It was really bad. A few years ago I decided to make some changes. Now I'm better than ever. I'm still prone to low self-esteem and low confidence but I'm in a healthy place right now as I can see moments of getting down on myself as opportunities to build my self-esteem (Cheesy lol but true)

[fairydust]

at 42 myself-worth is pretty healthy, bt it wasn't always. until i was 35 i was "perfect" and it was killing my. i entered grad school and came to the place that i needed to be authentic not perfect. i pretty much like/love myself. i'm flawed, i know it. but i'm pretty cool too. wouldn't want to go back to the facade of perfection... too exhausting.
i still struggle with boundaries and 'confrontation" but i'm a work in progress.

[pajamiez]

I would say that mine isn't very healthy. I'm so afraid of attention and people making fun of me, I'm afraid that they analyze everything I do like how I analyze others. I'm INFJ and my enneagram is mainly type four, I feel that I'm unique but not unique enough at times and I cannot decide which of the two. I love building my identity and my fantasy world. I'm embarrassed because I'm different, but I hope people see me as different in a good way.
I believe it had to do with my childhood, I wished to be friends with people and they didn't like me. My parents did not spend much time with me and I pretty much grew up playing with my stuffed animals all day. I'm highly sensitive to everything also.

[Molock]

My confidence was at rock bottom during high-school. I thought I was an ugly loser. Above all, I hated seing pictures of myself.

Nowadays I have improved a lot and really like who I am (mostly). I can look back at the old pictures from high-school and say to myself "hey, you weren't ugly". It's crazy how our perceptions can change with our state of minds. I'm not exactly where I want to be but I am proud to have made it this far.

[kdm1984]

It, um, could use work.

[Danse Macabre]

I have rather low self esteem. I was just talking about it with my psychiatrist the other day.
It's odd, because I've always had low self esteem, although I've never really been bullied or teased and I've always been very successful. I really like my personality and beliefs and such, but I don't like the way I look. I have always felt very physically unattractive.

[Chad A]

Hmmm... high in early elementary school, then a slow dwindle to the lowest in 7th grade... then about medium or so in high school. sorta low in college (but I put on the facade that I was having a GREAT time)... then slowly building to its highest point at age 34. I think as we get more comfortable in our own skins, the self esteem rises. Now I embrace my quirkiness and randomness and lost in my own thought-itis.

[Leith]

I'd say mine's always been quite healthy, it hasn't been as high as I'd have liked it but it could have been much worse. Mine was probably at it's lowest when I first moved to Australia, not knowing anyone and being half the world away from my family put a pretty big dent in it, as well as finding it hard to approach new people made me feel a bit worthless, but now I think it's at a decent level.

[Shaneus]

You're in Australia? Not sure how long you've been here or whereabouts you're located, but there's a fairly healthy community of us on this forum. I certainly wouldn't have a problem if there was someone new to hang out with :)

FWIW, I've pretty much always had a low self-esteem and only just recently (last few years) started taking steps consciously pulling it aside and improving it. It's not perfect but being able to acknowledge it is a positive step.



PS. Morrissey's awesome.