Do you hate it when people don't call you back or message you back??

Do you hate it when people don't call you back or message you back??

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This is a discussion on Do you hate it when people don't call you back or message you back?? within the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; Ok, so this has always been a consistent struggle in my relationships and I wonder if it is just me ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Do you hate it when people don't call you back or message you back??

    Ok, so this has always been a consistent struggle in my relationships and I wonder if it is just me or if other NF types have dealt with this -- I HATE it when people don't call me or text me back, especially if its a closer friend or I'm in a relationship with that person. I've had friends or guys that I was seeing that I'd call sometime in the afternoon and then when the evening came around and they've never called me back I become upset and anxious. One of the big struggles with my last ex was that I'd call him early in the evening to chat, but then he'd fall asleep all the time without calling me or bothering to send a text to say "hey I'm too tired to chat, so goodnight" or whatever. He always thought I was overreacting and just being "unstable"... as have other people have.
    However, I usually feel like that during this moments (many times, but not always) that the person is just really wanting to pull away from me.. like my last ex for instance. He never seemed to want to talk to me during the week and I really felt like it was a change in his feelings for me, thought he wouldn't admit to it until the day he'd dump me when he'd say something like "I don't want to come see you because it feels like a chore".

    Sorry got a bit off topic and gave more info than I needed to... but do you have a problem with people not calling you back? I can understand being busy and all, but after so many hours of the day or days its like... ok, come on.



  2. #2
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Uhhh YES. I absolutely 100% HATE IT when you send them a message via online chat, and they just don't respond. It's so aggravating. You're waiting there for at least 30 whole frikin' minutes, waiting. Then when you complain to them they get all pissy at you and ignore you, therefore making the situation worse. I'm always telling them: "Well I'm sorry I don't have a life and am constantly awaiting other peoples messages like this '@.@' "
    thegirlcandance, nim, Rory and 2 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    <tense> YES- i hate that. </tense>

    as a courtesy, i always reply back no matter what just to let the other person know that i've received their message (even if i dont care about what they've typed to me) and it makes me angry whenever someone deliberately doesnt respond back more than twice (that's my limit). it makes me think that they're being rude unless they've specified beforehand that they would rather save money than sending texts.

    on one hand , it is unfair to judge people based on whether or not they respond back, but i think that everyone should know by now that replying back is common courtesy.
    R22 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by calysco View Post
    <tense> YES- i hate that. </tense>

    as a courtesy, i always reply back no matter what just to let the other person know that i've received their message (even if i dont care about what they've typed to me) and it makes me angry whenever someone deliberately doesnt respond back more than twice (that's my limit). it makes me think that they're being rude unless they've specified beforehand that they would rather save money than sending texts.

    on one hand , it is unfair to judge people based on whether or not they respond back, but i think that everyone should know by now that replying back is common courtesy.
    Yeah, even if someone calls me and I can't talk at the moment I'll still send a text saying "sorry at ______ can't talk right now" or whatever. Its courteous and it lets the other person know that you're not just blowing them off or whatever.

    I always find it funny too that when you initially call or message, they won't respond back but then the split second that you say something like "Well I guess you're too busy to talk to me" or whatever they IMMEDIATELY respond to say hey I am busy and I don't sit by my phone all the time to respond to people when I am busy. Hmm... something doesn't make sense to me here because initially you didn't respond, yet the second I give a somewhat-upset/frustrated message then you respond immediately, so you must not REALLY be that busy... Hmm??
    marked174 and William I am thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    if a person doesn't want to talk to me then i don't care. whatever reason they don't respond for i don't really care.

    I've had to deal with people not being contactable the day i made plans with them or just disappearing mid conversation too many times to care anymore.
    Pop Crimes, Acey, Yobi and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by thegirlcandance View Post
    Yeah, even if someone calls me and I can't talk at the moment I'll still send a text saying "sorry at ______ can't talk right now" or whatever. Its courteous and it lets the other person know that you're not just blowing them off or whatever.

    I always find it funny too that when you initially call or message, they won't respond back but then the split second that you say something like "Well I guess you're too busy to talk to me" or whatever they IMMEDIATELY respond to say hey I am busy and I don't sit by my phone all the time to respond to people when I am busy. Hmm... something doesn't make sense to me here because initially you didn't respond, yet the second I give a somewhat-upset/frustrated message then you respond immediately, so you must not REALLY be that busy... Hmm??
    The worst part is that when you pipe up about it, they act as if you are the one with the problem!

  7. #7
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by marked174 View Post
    The worst part is that when you pipe up about it, they act as if you are the one with the problem!
    even worse is when they're trying to contact you and for some reason you really are too busy to answer, they get all pissed off and irritated at you. i mean, come on! *seething rage*
    marked174 thanked this post.

  8. #8
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by calysco View Post
    even worse is when they're trying to contact you and for some reason you really are too busy to answer, they get all pissed off and irritated at you. i mean, come on! *seething rage*
    Consistency is key in regards to this situation. Everybody gets called when they're busy every once in a while.
    calysco thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by marked174 View Post
    Consistency is key in regards to this situation. Everybody gets called when they're busy every once in a while.
    yeah- i know that they're used to me always picking up the phone, but it's rather unfair that they dont give me leeway when i dont. rather than thinking, "oh, it's probably because she's busy," they're more like, "WHERE WERE YOU? OMG. WHY DIDNT YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE."

    after a couple months of this, i finally decided to cut them loose. shouldve done so earlier. wouldve retained a little more of my sanity.
    marked174 thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by calysco View Post
    even worse is when they're trying to contact you and for some reason you really are too busy to answer, they get all pissed off and irritated at you. i mean, come on! *seething rage*
    Oddly enough, I haven't had that happen... yet.


 
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