[livlaughluv8]

First off I don't think it's necessarily a negative thing to admit that you "don't naturally mix well" with another type. Although I know and like people from all different types, there are some that I have to work more than others to like, and that's natural. What I have found is that around certain people I just can't ever discuss certain topics or themes. Recognizing this beforehand paves the way for a smoother relationship in the long run.

In my life I have had a lot of trouble with ESTJs (though I have a lovely ESTJ supervisor who is very fair, supportive, and fun to be around). I got stabbed in the back by an ESTJ friend who took a random disliking to me towards the end of high school and did whatever she could to ruin my reputation. I have an ESTJ coworker who though I barely know her gives me the snake eye every time I try and smile and say hello. I constantly hear her bossing people around and being pushy, and I wonder if she doesn't like me because she can tell I can't be controlled (ie, may be as stubborn as she is). And my ESTJ sister-in-law who is very kind is also extremely strict and rigid (especially about her kids, who if you ask her are the best-brought-up and most perfect children in all the land, and she doesn't understand why everyone else's children are so poorly behaved, and you ought to be spending every second of your spare time with them when you're home because that's what's FAIR; it's only FAIR for you to spend 90% of your two weeks a year at home on playdates with her kids in spite of 3 other nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and grandparents who are patiently waiting to see you, never mind the two hours of sleep you've gotten from traveling to be there and late-night xmas shopping...).

Sorry this got a little passive-aggressive and bitter.

I think the problem stems from their trying to control me. ESFJs do this too and it drives me crazy, but at least they sincerely believe they have your best intentions at heart. ESTJs just have this personal system that they believe is best and, still worse, truly believe is completely objective, and because they're extroverts they try to force it on you, too. I have major problems with anyone who does not respect differences and expects everyone to be like them. It bothers me more in ESTJs than in ENTJs because at least ENTJs as Intuitives think a similar way as me, so though I find them overly-forceful and controlling as well, they at least have a solid, Intuitive logic to back up their argument. The bad ESTJs I've come across rely on nothing but their own skewed (to my mind) ethics system that they believe is "objective" and think they have some God-given right to foist upon you. If they kept it to themselves like ISTJs I wouldn't mind it at all, but every problem I've had with an ESTJ is when I felt like they started disliking or judging me for some undefinable reason over which I had no control, and which was probably related to me not fitting into some mold they think everyone ought to fit into.



So, serious problems with ESTJs. I have learned certain things about dealing with them: a) don't debate about politics (I generally find them conservative, and I am very liberal). b) Try not to debate about anything. Avoid debates overall, or anything which will draw out their aggressive, competitive instincts, unless you enjoy dealing with that sort of thing. c) Keep your opinions to yourself; smile and nod in the case of an unavoidable debate. d) I hate being fake-nice and "keeping up appearances". But they respond well, almost seem to require, fake-nice. So do it if you must. e) Stand up to them calmly and rationally when a line has absolutely been crossed. They respond well to logic and reasoning, though they may not agree. If you become emotional they will write off your argument. I have observed ESTJs writing off their own emotions as well. f) Keep a certain distance from them, whatever is comfortable and works best, and only open up the most personal parts of you if you absolutely know and trust them. They will judge you, but how much you let their judging get to you is up to you. In the case of a good friend you can laugh it off and not take it seriously; in the case of an acquaintance, coworker, or relative it can make you resentful or self-doubting.

I agree, I really don't like when they control me. It is sometimes hard for infjs to work with or have a relationship with estjs because I feel like estjs play mind games and infjs can easily detect mind games what the person is trying to achieve. It also bothers me when estjs are very critical which they can get to be. I like estjs though, it's just hard for me to get to know them and work smoothly with them.

[happydolphin]

I feel like estjs play mind games and infjs can easily detect mind games what the person is trying to achieve.

I find this very true with ENTJs as well.

Two of my close friends are ESFJs and while they usually like me, I don't always like them. :P
ISFx types annoy me, too. The few I know are almost like shadows - they linger around and don't do or say anything.

[Dementor]

Found my post to be a bit too subjective and arrogant.

As long as you are a healthy type aware of your inner self - I think I'll like you. I struggled with ESFs for a while, but once I got to know more of them I found out they can be great as well.

[asewland]

I don't get along very well with immature ESTPs (I'm not that mature either TBH :P) Maybe it's cuz we seem so alike yet so different. (Mature ESTPs on the other hand are some of the best people I know) XXTJs also frustrate me w/ their desire to plan everything out

[ofana]

I posted before I read the whole thread and now that I have, I feel like there's been enough negativity without me adding to it. :)

[SuperNova85]

ESFJ for me.........and by the way, not to be an ass, but why do so many complain about this and some of the other threads being too negative or "typist", if you don't like what the thread is about.....then don't click on it:-)

[Inguz]

ENTP I guess, sometimes it's just like "What the fuck did I just read?", yet some of the posters that I appreciate the most are in fact ENTP.

[Impact Calculus]

ENTP 7s with either 2w3 or 3w2 as their image fix tend to annoy me the most.

I'm sure they're all good people though. :)

[quadrivium]

You know it's funny. I came in here expecting a lot of INTJ hate, because frankly that's what I see reflected in real life. INTJs are off putting to most people. Instead I see ESFJ hate, when in reality, they are typically very caring and well liked.

[hazzacanary]

It has to be ESFJ for me. It takes a lot to annoy me, but some (not all) ESFJ's really know how to push me - must be something to do with the fact that I'm Ti dom and Fe inf, whereas they're Fe dom and Ti inf...