[Vincelix]

Hi there personalities,

I've been pondering on finding an answer to whether its okay if your personality changes after certain events, traumatic or non-traumatic.



When I was 15~16 years old I had a pretty rough time. Family issues, friends lost, school went terrible just to name a few factors.

From being an ESFJ, one who was always very in the middle of the attention and sensitive to what others were feeling and doing. I became much more Introverted and Intuitive and started to think a hell lot more. In other words I became a INTJ.

Now I'm 22 years old and when I think about the past it feels weird to me. As if that life of mine was a whole different person. I feel disconnected and sometimes feel like there is a split in my personality, like there is a hole in my past. I worry about if it's okay to experience these feelings and if it's better if my personality should be more ESFJ because this is who I "truly" was, or am actually.

[ItsAlwaysSunny]

I've been wondering the same thing. I went through some abuse as a kid and I'm kind of traumatized by it and I think it makes it impossible to figure out a real personality type. Actually it makes me feel like personality types don't really exist, since so many things seem so circumstancial. Everyone will tell you that your personality type can't *technically* change, but I have no doubt that if I hadn't grown up in such a toxic environment that my personality would be different. I would imagine that whatever preferences make you most happy would be your preferred personality traits, but things like anxiety, depression, low self worth, isolation, fear, etc. can also greatly skew what you think makes you happy and what doesn't.

[clicheguevara]

Many consider changes in type to be impossible but even if we assume that they happen, your function set probably didn't change from Fe-Si-Ne-Ti to Ni-Te-Fi-Se all of a sudden.

Chances are, you started acting differently due to the issues you mentioned, became depressed maybe...? This wouldn't change your actual type but it might feel that way.

[DarkSideOfLight]

I've been there. Between age of 16-20, so much changed in my life that I started living literally in my own head. Long story short, I went from being ENTP -> INTP -> INTJ.

What helped my to recognize who I really am was my childhood. This was just an issue of E-I in my case. I do believe that at certain age when second function is clearly seen it's decided. Stress can put us in shadow mode but that's not our true and happy face. You may have gotten used to live your shadow life but I think the sooner you decide to get back to ESFJ the better for you.

[FreeSpirit]

I don't actually believe in personality typing. I'm using ENFJ now
because it's closer to what people IRL might take me for. Actually,
people seem to attribute ENFP characteristics to me when telling me
what they think of me (usually they have some very odd perceptions
of 'who I am'- I think it is greatly influenced by my physical appearance).
But anyone who knows me 2 seconds past that will at least see some "J".
And since "2 seconds past that" is all most people ever see......

[LiquidLight]

Many consider changes in type to be impossible but even if we assume that they happen, your function set probably didn't change from Fe-Si-Ne-Ti to Ni-Te-Fi-Se all of a sudden.

Chances are, you started acting differently due to the issues you mentioned, became depressed maybe...? This wouldn't change your actual type but it might feel that way.

Yep.

The OP is basing personality on how they act not on type. And traumatic circumstances, or just life changes can affect how people act. But type is more about the basics of how you think, and in that respect, to change type would probably have to come from something so traumatic that you'd probably go through something of a mental breakdown.

[Vincelix]

Many consider changes in type to be impossible but even if we assume that they happen, your function set probably didn't change from Fe-Si-Ne-Ti to Ni-Te-Fi-Se all of a sudden.

Chances are, you started acting differently due to the issues you mentioned, became depressed maybe...? This wouldn't change your actual type but it might feel that way.

Yes I was quite down at the time. Still have my moments.

[heythereilikeyourhair]

same... im pretty sure i used to be an infp to esfp to intp , and now infj.

or maybe i was just extremely unhealthy.

[deadgirlrunning]

I don't exactly believe in personality typing to begin with. It kind of seems to put people in a box. I don't know what it is to feel like "myself" because I haven't felt like myself for so long. I relate most to the INFP description, but when I'm depressed I feel more T and when I'm happy I feel more E-ish.

[Vincelix]

I don't exactly believe in personality typing to begin with. It kind of seems to put people in a box. I don't know what it is to feel like "myself" because I haven't felt like myself for so long. I relate most to the INFP description, but when I'm depressed I feel more T and when I'm happy I feel more E-ish.

I couldn't agree with you more. It's like when you use anything other than your indicated cognitive functions, it makes you feel like you're not doing what is right. And I hate that. Personality types should NOT be taken so serious. In an ideal world where everyone grows how they should grow, it would make sense. But in this world it's just stupid and overrated. It does give you an idea of what you are but it doesn't tell you everything.

I know this doesn't have anything to do with my question but i think it's something that people should realize.