i have a weird feeling that im living in my entire lifetime, which is why im not surprised to see NP being "infinite"..
everything in my past feels just as real and relevant as the present, because the present will always be the past in the future anyway, and im defined by everything i've been and everything i've done. at the same time, im aware that the future will be the present, so that's equally important too.
considering that there is a lot more of the past and future, the present seems less significant to me- that's why it's incredibly easy for me to prioritise, and to see things with a sense of perspective. for example, the next year of my life is not as important if there is something in the next four years after that that i should be preparing for. unfortunately, other people don't think the same way so they often don't understand my motivations.




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