ENFJ - Are they really as described?

ENFJ - Are they really as described?

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This is a discussion on ENFJ - Are they really as described? within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Hello everyone, I'll get straight to the point:I know a guy who is an ENFJ.An ENFJ with a strong confusion ...

  1. #1

    ENFJ - Are they really as described?

    Hello everyone,
    I'll get straight to the point:I know a guy who is an ENFJ.An ENFJ with a strong confusion about his personality type and is making me(an ENTJ) and a close friend of mine(an INTP) going crazy.I don't know if Myers and Briggs where drunk when writing down the ENFJ profile, but this guy is actually the exact opposite of what the MBTI theory says about him.

    1)He is not a natural charming leaders.
    You like him until you know him well.Indecisive, messy, oppressive and a pathological liar.The latter characteristic is by far the more annoying - especially because he KNOWS HE IS LYING, HE KNOWS YOU KNOW IT but he keeps doing it.Plus...this guy is completely irrational and not illogical(e.g. We were working on a project for a house.He drew a house where NO TOILET was present.He said people don't need them + they can use the neighbor's one)

    2)He hasn't great organizational skills
    Nope.Not really.He always find the WORST way to solve a problem(The most expensive, harshest, time wasting, etc).Each time he takes care of the org is always a COMPLETE MESS.Literally ALWAYS!

    3)He doesn't care for other people.
    He nonchalantly ignores his family & friends needs/requests and, when he does something extremely stupid and irresponsible, it is often somebody else who "pays the bil"l.And ,believe me, he doesn't give and f. about it.

    4)He doesn't give as much as he can to anyone
    He always said he does everything for his children and family.Then he Inherited the family assets and told his children they wouldn't get anything.BTW:He often threatens them and blackmails them(If they don't do what he wants, he will make sure they will not inherit anything even after his death).And I don't even tell you who he treats his coworkers and friends.

    5)He is unable to take criticism well.Neither if it is constructive and well argued.

    How is that possible that an ENFJ is such an a$$hat?

  2. #2

    why don't you ask them? Also,
    >Philosophy thread?
    >What did they mean by this

  3. #3

    Moving this to the MBTI forum

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  5. #4

    How did you come to the conclusion, that this person is an ENFJ? No seriously , what on earth let's you think this?

    Because this person sounds like an caricature of an bad ETP. Irresponsible, at first charming, egocentric, egoistic, chaotic. You said it yourself indecisive, messy, oppressive and a pathological liar. This is all the dark side of ETP and this person does not sound like a Judger nor a Feeler.
    Last edited by Doom_Knight; 04-19-2017 at 10:32 PM.
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  6. #5

    ENFJ have a similar "ego ideal", which means they have a common desire such as being seen as friendly, emphatic, social and especially accommodating, even though they might not be any of that.

    My personal opinion based on observations.

  7. #6

    ENFJs are evil.

  8. #7

    Maybe the test was wrong.

    Or, maybe he's unhealthy and needs a therapist.

    Most of the personality descriptions try to highlight good things, not "this person is the worst, end them before they breed!" So, Idk, maybe he's unhealthy or the bad parts of his type come through a lot more?

  9. #8

    I have some ENFJ friends and "colleagues".
    They are incredibly good organizers, they are very much into whatever crowd they gathered around them, geniunely love people, and have great foresight into events that affect some of the others around them.
    They have their finger on the pulse of the big events, they organize them, they are often the center of them.
    On the downside they are very vulnerable to logical (impersonal) reasoning and often downplay the effects of it. Or prone to conspiracy theories (inferior Ti) which they can't explain or understand but still uphold some way. (like fake Moon landing and stuff)
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  10. #9
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I suppose anything is possible, or maybe he has some kind of psychological issue like narcissism complicating things, but he doesn't sound like an ENFJ in the slightest. Maybe he got ENFJ when he took the test because he was choosing answers that described the person he likes to think he is instead of the person he actually is.

    I'm married to an ENFJ and he would give the shirt off his back for nearly anyone, and not expect a thing in return. He is a natural leader and people-organizer, incredibly efficient, self-sacrificing, and just cares so much it's wild. He is always looking for the best approach that makes "everybody win." He is fantastic at using language in ways that make you feel capable and good about yourself, or that will bring you on board with whatever vision he has that he thinks will be best for everyone. Caring about his family is hugely important to him, even though his father was a monster and treated him horribly on numerous occasions, he still sacrificed to make sure his father was living comfortably. He is far more inclined to look for the good in people and try to draw it out of them to fix the bad instead of condemning and dismissing them for the bad.

    He is usually rational enough. Not Ti-level rational, but he is rational enough that he would be horrified at the idea of creating a building-plan in which you have to impose upon a neighbor, haha. He can be prone to irrationality in a "big picture" way, more like believing in some religious ideal than being irrational about details. Otherwise, his lack of rationality will mostly come out when he's depressed about something. Then every problem in the world seems to become irrationally black and white for him. It's all one way or another, in the worst possible sense. When he's depressed he tends to become snippy and stops wanting to see people and quietly retreats into a dark corner to escape with some form of entertainment, a black cloud of negativity hovering over his head. When it's over, he emerges like a ray of sunshine and starts organizing get-togethers again and working to make the world a better place.

    For faults, I'd say that they are a natural consequence of his good traits. He can be inclined to be bossy and "bulldoze" people when he sees the most beneficial method for some goal. His efficiency can make him snippy when there is a lack of efficiency. He can get wrapped up in the plight of some individual or cause so much that he neglects others temporarily. He takes it personally when someone asks him for advice and then they don't follow it, or only follow part of it. He's the sort who could be drawn into some religious zeal.
    Last edited by SilverKelpie; 04-20-2017 at 10:38 AM.
    Whyzkyd thanked this post.

  11. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by MarkvsGod View Post
    I don't know if Myers and Briggs where drunk when writing down the ENFJ profile, but this guy is actually the exact opposite of what the MBTI theory says about him.
    Then you should probably reconsider his typing.

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