Hello citizens of PerC,
Yes folks, we skipped the October MOTM interview. Do I have an explanation you ask for this mysterious event? Why yes I do!
As I was rummaging through my collection of unread private messages, I noticed that the usual, "Hey Happy, I vote for this "person" for MOTM...blah blah" were missing. So I hired Mr. CafeBot to do a little investigation and the results shocked me!
The culprit is... is.... is... YOU! YOU never nominated anyone for MOTM of October! YOU thought, "Hey, someone else must have already been nominated so I'll just skip voting for this month." YOU were WRONG!!! YOU are an essential part in the nomination process! YOU would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for Mr. CafeBot and his meddling dog sidekick Dog!
So Ya....*cricket sound*
In any case, everything is back to normal and we had a few members nominated for this month. The winner?
Our very own pinkrasputin! She has undoubtedly contributed many interesting insights for the members of PerC, and has successfully fit the role of the stereotypical ENFP. Her candy filled posting style has made her the go to gal for "sweet" support and the November Member of the Month! (She should have been the October MOTM! )
Anyways, here now is the interview with pinkrasputin...
Motto: Goals are our anchors during times of crisis. & You don't need to make those mistakes, I've already made them for you.
What is your real name?
Which country are you situated in?
How would you describe yourself in one word?
Complex (but my ENFP best friend just told me to put "spunky")
How did you find Personality Cafe?
It was research for a previous relationship. I kept googling "ENFP/INTJ relationships" and "INTJ men in relationships" and the forum kept appearing.
What made you join us?
I stopped lurking and actually joined because it said "Members see less ads" on the front page. Hahaha.
So I still remember the day you asked me to change your username to pinkrasputin back when you were a newbie with around 20 post! Why did you choose your username?
Hahaha. I forgot about that! I was such a noob. I was freaking out because my user name was my real first and last name and I didn't mean to do that. I was running around asking members if they could change it for me. I didn't know how things worked then. Lolz. Btw, I just thought you were some really nice member on the forum. I didn't know you were big cheese or anything.
Pinkrasputin is my super hero name according to some Facebook quiz I once did. The formula is: Favorite color + Favorite drink. I love pink and black so I chose pink. My favorite drink is an Imperial Stout: Old Rasputin Stout
How did you get involved with Personality Typing?
At the beginning of our relationship my INTJ ex boyfriend introduced me to MBTI and lent me his book "Please Understand Me II". I thought "Wow! The first guy to actually come with a manual! Cool!"
I love doing research on relationships in hopes of making them work so I gobbled it up and then some. Eventually I kept the knowledge but lost the boyfriend.
What is your Myers Briggs Personality Type?
So what's it like to be an ENFP?
It's like being an intellectual Strawberry Shortcake on acid. Or a pipe smoking Bugs Bunny who rides a motorcycle. It's fun. A bit crazy. There is also a very deep and dark emotional undercurrent that I think most people don't see. But other than that, I have no complaints. I really do think we care about people and can get along with many different types.
Do you prefer to associate yourself with certain MB types?
Well since most of my life I wasn't aware of MBTI, I just hung with those I got along with. I grew up the youngest in a family of 4. The types in my family are: ESFJ, ESTP, ESFP, ISFJ, ISTJ so I can speak Se & Si quite well.
After testing all of my current friends and ex husband, I discovered both of my best girlfriends are ENFJs and so is my ex husband. My best guy friend is another ENFP. He has some really good advice! Lol.
But I really like all types. As far as romantic relationships, it's easier to say what I haven't been with: ISTJ, ESTJ/P. But that only makes me spend more time on their forums. It's not that I'm trying to date through the entire MBTI, I'm just committed to ironing out any unawareness on my part.
Do you use "Personality Typing" in the real world?
Um yeah. A little too much. The last date I went on, the guy got offended because I gave him a test right off the bat. I couldn't let the evening proceed until I figured out his type. Lol. And he got all weirded out because he thought I was giving him some sort of test to "pass".
But I use personality typing to understand people I am dealing with all the time. I also use personality typing when I teach. I teach one on one quite a bit. It is my responsibility to discover each student's "language". The faster I do this, the faster they will learn. The sooner I can tell where a person is "coming from", the easier it is to communicate. It's also an important factor in building trust. Really studying functions has helped me tremendously come up with new ways to find solutions in my teaching.
What is your Enneagram Type?
Counter phobic 6w7-2w3-9w8
Which personality theory do you find most helpful and accurate?
I love studying MBTI and Jungian Functions. That helped me identify my place in the world and confirmed where I already am. It also showed me potential areas where I might have a break down in communication with others and why.
Right now I am starting to do a lot of reading and self discovery with the enneagram. I feel it allows me to dig a bit deeper and peels away some more layers. MBTI made me feel good about who I am and helps to appreciate others for who they are. But the enneagram says "Okay now. Are you ready to do some more inner work?"
I think all of the theories are valuable, but for different reasons. I believe it depends on where some people are in their lives. Our egos are there for a reason. But I think when a person is ready, the right theories will work for them.
As far as accuracy, that is a bit harder to answer. I come from a heavy background in individual counseling. I've already had someone accurately describe me, my motivations, and my weak areas down to the tiniest detail. The description I received was specifically tailored for me. But this is after years of one-on-one analysis and hours upon hours of talking. I don't expect the same detailed description from a single personality theory that didn't have me specifically in mind when it was written.
I haven't found anything inaccurate when it comes to MBTI. But there is lot of room for differences since it is only dealing with cognitive functions. And once you get past some of the weaker enneagram descriptions and find your core, the patterns do make sense.
I am not searching for accuracy. I am searching for growth. I take what works for me and leave the rest.
Do you think the different personality theories give an accurate description of you?
I think ENFP describes me very well. I remember when a description was first read to me. It was sort of creepy and reassuring. I went "Wow! You mean there are others like me in the world??" I had no idea there was a name for my attitude.
The enneagram descriptions were not as accurate, especially for 6. They actually hampered with finding my type sooner. But a lot of that has to do with the fact that it's getting rid of the typical descriptions of you, moving beyond the ego, and deals with a deeper world of motivations. Then there are a lot of descriptions that talk about behaviors in relation to fear and anxiety that I don't possess. Even more difficult, people that know me in real life would never describe me as "fearful" or "anxious". So it took me quite a while to get to my core. But now that I'm there, it pretty much fits like a glove.
Has personality typing helped you in any way?
Yes, in work and friendships. However, in love relationships I either have to hide my addiction, or find somebody who speaks functions.
So what do you believe is your greatest accomplishment at this point?
Having my baby girl who is now 13. Second to that is my completion of a 50 miler ultra marathon in April of this year.
What is your greatest weakness?
Men- I can't help it.
What is your greatest strength?
My determination to get through anything in life.
What is your greatest fear?
Ever since I was about 6 years old, I feared falling into the water of the Submarine ride at Disneyland. I know the depth is only about waist high, but there is just something creepy about it.
What motivates you?
What is your philosophy?
I co-opted Rocky Balboa's:
"Life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
What are you passionate about?
Running marathons, singing, and encouraging others.
I teach everything I love: Voice, Piano, and aerobic kickboxing. I own a private voice studio and am on faculty at a private university.
What are your pet peeves?
People bullying others. Groups of people aligning themselves with the "popular idea" rather than the "right one". I hate cliques. I am also very challenged by people who refuse to see someone else's perspective. Although I do not like the people that smoke on my running trails. And I refuse to see things from their perspective, they should just get off my trail.
Snakes. I can't stand the thought of them.
Who do you look up to if any?
Dean Karnazes- Ultra Marathon man, writer of 2 Best Selling books, and winner of Western States 100 Mile Ultra Marathon. He motivates me and inspires me to inspire others.
What's is your favorite place to travel to?
New York. I used to live there and I often miss it.
Your favorite favorite color and weather?
Pink and Summer.
What are your favorite books, movies, tv shows, food, beverages?
Decision making questions like these tend to hurt my P brain! But I will try to answer with the disclaimer that all of the replies are subject to change tomorrow.
Favorite book: Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, Existentialism is a Humanism by Jean Paul Sartre, What Men Still Don't Know About Women by Herb Goldberg, and The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Favorite movie: Pan's Labyrinth and Secretary
Favorite TV show: Imma Gleek!!
Favorite Food: Sushi and Hummus
Favorite Beverage: I love craft ales. Imperial Stouts and Barley wines. Mmmmm...
What can I find in your fridge?
Lots of vegetables, eggs, left overs and the "staples": Blueberry Juice, hummus, peppered salami, pitas, and fruit punch flavored G2
Do girls have cooties?
Not unless by "cooties" you mean "kick ass mojo".
English Bulldog. I want one really badly, even if it can't run with me.
What type of music genre do you listen to?
Everything. I have a vocal performance degree so I sing and listen to a lot of opera. But I teach and will run to house/funk music. I also love world music and fusion, classic rock, alternative, etc.
Any favorite singers or band?
Favorite band: Still is Dave Matthews, Favorite Singer-the Master: Luciano Pavarotti
Your favorite websites to visit?
Lol. I'm here all the time dontcha know. I rarely go to my Facebook anymore.
What do you do for fun and relaxation?
Run, hot yoga, and blog on this forum. I also love hanging out with girlfriends and conversing around pints of Old Rasputins Stout.
What do you know now that you wish you'd known 5 years ago? Definitely personality typing. I barely discovered it 3 years ago.
But I am glad I discovered it after having years of my own therapy, otherwise I might have been too rigid.
Tell us something about yourself that we don't already know.
I was a professional musical theater actress for 15 years. I went back to school and finished my college degree at 35.
What do you like most about PersonalityCafe?
Definitely the members. I love people opening up and reaching out. Those that hide, I find you too. Hahaha! I also have to shout out to the staff. I think every single one of them has either gotten my back or has personally helped me.
What do you dislike most about PersonalityCafe?
Any sort of conflict really. But mostly anyone picking on anyone else because of their type. Or anyone harassing others because they are under the assumption they are better than anyone else because of their type.
I understand why it might be more comfortable to hang out in one's own sub forum. You can find a lot of acceptance amongst people similar to yourself. Because of that, I really try to approach other sub forums with respect. However, I don't like when a preference for one's own sub forums becomes an excuse to have an exclusive elitist camp.
Has PerC taught you anything?
Omg, yes! I've learned that not everybody thinks like me! And I've learned a ton about functions and was introduced to the enneagram. Also, the youth are teaching me how to be cool.
Do you have any advice for the community of PerC?
I love studying functions and reading up on Jung, Lenore, and Beebe's models. However, I've noticed a current trend to dismiss MBTI for Jungian theory or other theories. I realize that MBTI is an elaboration on Jung's original theories. But I think it's a very user friendly spin off. Some of us needed to begin with that in order to not become confused. I really see it's significance.
MBTI is conducive to understanding people's differences relatively quickly. I also believe it can really help a person not feel so alone in the world. I grew up in a family with all sensors, and felt like there was something really wrong with me. Discovering that I was a certain type, reading it's descriptions, and that there was others in the world like me, was very affirming. I don't think that just reading about separate functions early on would have had the same impact so quickly. Plus, some of Jung's original theories, especially in regards to shadow functions are outdated and a tad sexist. MBTI is great in that it erases the biases based on sex.
If you are having a hard time grasping what type you are and you have been studying Jungian functions separately only, I would suggest giving MBTI another spin. And vice versa. I wouldn't toss out the baby with the bath water.
Don't try to force yourself into a box and resist the temptation to go with a type that seems "cool" or "popular". Just keep in mind that there is no group or function that is better than the other. We are here to understand ourselves and hopefully our differences with each other, not to create greater chasms amongst ourselves.
And as far as the enneagram, I caution using it in a way that makes you think you can mind read other's motivations. I highly doubt this would be the case since everyone is at various levels of their inner work. I think the enneagram is best used to dig deeper into yourself.
So what is next for you?
I am going to pursue my doctorate in clinical psychology. I can't deny the love any longer. I've sat in the client's chair long enough. Lol. I want to switch sides and give now.
What are your plans and goals for the future? Short term: I'm planning on running Los Angeles Marathon in March and hopefully will finish in a time that will finally qualify me for Boston Marathon 2012. If I get all my paperwork in on time and am accepted, I will enter my doctorate program in the fall 2011.
Long term: After acquiring my PsychD, I would like to write books on relationships. I would do it now, but I don't think the letters "ENFP" by my name will be enough to sell my books.
Give us your parting words.
Okay. I have lots of them. Sorry. This place means a lot to me. I need to have a P.R. moment.
Remember you never alone in this world. Never give up on yourself. No matter how far you've fallen, you have the power within to change and be anything you want to be. Your hard times don't define you. See them as "speed bumps" along the way to your destination.
Don't let your dreams die, be inspired by them. Do what you love and you will be forever motivated.
Never turn your back on you. Give yourself the love and acceptance you've always wanted.
Thank you everyone for being there for me in all my craziness. I learn from my connections with you everyday. You have been there for me during some of the hardest times in my life. You were beyond the role of a lawyer, doctor, lover, and friend. All I had to do was turn on my computer in any one of many mental states, and you were there for me. I was never alone. I don't really know how else to tell you I love you for that. It's really been an incredible journey. Thank you for making Member of the Month. It is an honor.