This is a discussion on Inside Your Head... within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; This stems from another thread. It's a little off-topic there, so I thought I would start a new one. Here ...
In this subforum, I see so many females who express frustration with their ISTPs; and I have to admit, if I hadn't spent many hours reading the threads here, I would probably have a lot of frustration too. The information here is golden! Hopefully, my prying and input isn't annoying to any of you...I'm just doing what I need to do in order to give my ISTP and me the best chance possible. If I haunted him like I haunt this subforum, he probably would have ditched me already.
But!!! When we're together, he makes up for it. The first few hours are spent hugging, talking, etc. I can tell when he's getting saturated, so I back off. The key is to read his cues. It's really on his terms, and I know this. In my younger years, this wouldn't fly...but I'm secure in who I am, and I don't have to call the shots anymore.
Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but my ISTP is very touchy-feely at times. And since my preferred Love Language is physical touch, this replenishes my depleted emotional bank account (from lack of seeing him through the week). My second preferred LL is quality time. When we're together, we're together; so that helps a lot too. Again, there are times when I know he needs to breathe, so I lay off until he invites me back in.
Intelligent conversation: This is important to me, too. I know many like to think that INFJs are "feelers," and that's partially true, but we're also called "logical feelers." One of my favorite sayings is, "You can't make sense out of nonsense." When I'm discussing an important matter, I'm doing it in order to 1) improve myself; 2) improve a situation; 3) improve my understanding of myself, someone else, or a situation. If I'm wrong about something, I want to know it...and I want to know why.
also with the intelligent conversation, if you come off as being TOO intelligent you may emasculate him (alot of guys are intimidated by a female who comes off as being smarter than him) i suppose its a balance you have find like all other things.
finally i imagine it being a quiet relationship if you're both introverts (as opposed to the usual extrovert - introvert bond) however you're an abstract thinker so he probably enjoys the conversation with you and being a feeler you probably bring out his deeper emotions.
on thing i can say is though, ISTP's may come of as being mysterious and they are infact deep complex thinkers. however they usually have straight forward and simple wants and needs and may make this clear (if not bluntly then subtly)
do you have any questions you may wish to ask an ISTP???
To quote an INFJ friend of mine:
"Erbse, not everyone can be a robot!".
So much for the logcial INFJ.
On a side note, my inner world has a large "No trespassing" sign at its entrance.
i agree with both of these ^ emotions are heavily avoided by the ISTP (to put it simply).
ISTP's lead a dual lifestyle of being:
- an extrovert spontaneous crazy person
- a deep introvert world where we dislike others to enter.
this is another reason we need space to cater for both our sides. you ISTP's in agreement with this??
I can see the "childlike" thing in him.
Maybe a lot of people (not just ISTPs) feel the same way about transferring emotional energy. It's highly uncomfortable to feel it and not be able to give it away. Prolly why we're not extinct :)
In natural horsemanship courses, they talk about taking your horse just beyond their comfort level, and when the horse becomes a little too nervous, you bring it back to that comfort level for a time. Every time you repeat it, just take it only to the brink of what he handle and then retreat. I don't know if this method could help an ISTP overcome some of their discomfort in feeling strong emotions or not...just a thought. It would require a very understanding mate, for sure.