[Jorji]

This stems from another thread. It's a little off-topic there, so I thought I would start a new one. Here is the conversation so far:

Dear ISTP,

Wish I could spend two days inside your head. One of them, when we're spending time together; and one of them, when we're not.

Your INFJ

@Jorji,
you would be more or less bored with what is happening there anyhow because it's not that spectacular. Everything is sub-conscious on things that matter and unlike most people, we do not waste time thinking on matters which we can not change. Atleast, in my case.

Your first three words your would say would be "What The Fuck......"

I know you will if you got the chance, cause I've said it about myself.

@MXZCCT

LOL! Probably so.

@Kadjunga



You could be right, but I think I would be fascinated...and it would sure help me understand him better.

I'll leave it there...don't want to derail.

i suppose the most important thing for a female to know about understanding an ISTP is just dont smother him, give him his personal space (ISTP's have bizarre boundries that even i cant explain), try to engage into intelligent conversation with him this will make you mare interesting as he sees that you have some sort of logic about you but try not to argue with irrational opinion (i was having a debate with an extrovert feeler (ENFP), she was sayin how horoscopes were just as accurate as these personality tests, i reasoned my logic that these are assessment based and that there's no logic to a horoscope other than when you were born which is bollocks) and that wound me up, id of respected it if she bought reasoning and logic to the conversation but hey, abstract feelers ey . . .
also, i realise i stumbled off topic here. my excuse . . the spontaneity of an ISTP!! Potato!

[Jorji]

In this subforum, I see so many females who express frustration with their ISTPs; and I have to admit, if I hadn't spent many hours reading the threads here, I would probably have a lot of frustration too. The information here is golden! Hopefully, my prying and input isn't annoying to any of you...I'm just doing what I need to do in order to give my ISTP and me the best chance possible. If I haunted him like I haunt this subforum, he probably would have ditched me already.

i suppose the most important thing for a female to know about understanding an ISTP is just dont smother him, give him his personal space (ISTP's have bizarre boundries that even i cant explain), try to engage into intelligent conversation with him this will make you mare interesting as he sees that you have some sort of logic about you but try not to argue with irrational opinion

Bizarre boundaries: Yes. If a woman needs a lot of contact, feedback, and reassurance, she'll be better off with a different personality type. My ISTP is nearly extinct when we're not together. We see each other on the weekends, but during the week, we may not talk on the phone *at all.* Once, he did call me three times in one day...couldn't believe it. Texting and all other forms of contact are very limited.

But!!! When we're together, he makes up for it. The first few hours are spent hugging, talking, etc. I can tell when he's getting saturated, so I back off. The key is to read his cues. It's really on his terms, and I know this. In my younger years, this wouldn't fly...but I'm secure in who I am, and I don't have to call the shots anymore.

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but my ISTP is very touchy-feely at times. And since my preferred Love Language is physical touch, this replenishes my depleted emotional bank account (from lack of seeing him through the week). My second preferred LL is quality time. When we're together, we're together; so that helps a lot too. Again, there are times when I know he needs to breathe, so I lay off until he invites me back in.

Intelligent conversation: This is important to me, too. I know many like to think that INFJs are "feelers," and that's partially true, but we're also called "logical feelers." One of my favorite sayings is, "You can't make sense out of nonsense." When I'm discussing an important matter, I'm doing it in order to 1) improve myself; 2) improve a situation; 3) improve my understanding of myself, someone else, or a situation. If I'm wrong about something, I want to know it...and I want to know why.

[TomRoberts]

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but my ISTP is very touchy-feely at times. And since my preferred Love Language is physical touch, this replenishes my depleted emotional bank account (from lack of seeing him through the week).

well, ISTP's are "The mechanics" and are hands on (kinaesthetic learners) and are bound to be hands on. also, i dont want to go too personal but ive seen on a few websites that ISTP's are very good in bed. you dont have to answer of course, but i am curious . . . would you say this is true? a simple yes or no would be adequate.

also with the intelligent conversation, if you come off as being TOO intelligent you may emasculate him (alot of guys are intimidated by a female who comes off as being smarter than him) i suppose its a balance you have find like all other things.

finally i imagine it being a quiet relationship if you're both introverts (as opposed to the usual extrovert - introvert bond) however you're an abstract thinker so he probably enjoys the conversation with you and being a feeler you probably bring out his deeper emotions.

on thing i can say is though, ISTP's may come of as being mysterious and they are infact deep complex thinkers. however they usually have straight forward and simple wants and needs and may make this clear (if not bluntly then subtly)

do you have any questions you may wish to ask an ISTP???

[MXZCCT]

In this subforum, I see so many females who express frustration with their ISTPs; and I have to admit, if I hadn't spent many hours reading the threads here, I would probably have a lot of frustration too. The information here is golden! Hopefully, my prying and input isn't annoying to any of you...I'm just doing what I need to do in order to give my ISTP and me the best chance possible. If I haunted him like I haunt this subforum, he probably would have ditched me already.



Bizarre boundaries: Yes. If a woman needs a lot of contact, feedback, and reassurance, she'll be better off with a different personality type. My ISTP is nearly extinct when we're not together. We see each other on the weekends, but during the week, we may not talk on the phone *at all.* Once, he did call me three times in one day...couldn't believe it. Texting and all other forms of contact are very limited.

But!!! When we're together, he makes up for it. The first few hours are spent hugging, talking, etc. I can tell when he's getting saturated, so I back off. The key is to read his cues. It's really on his terms, and I know this. In my younger years, this wouldn't fly...but I'm secure in who I am, and I don't have to call the shots anymore.

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but my ISTP is very touchy-feely at times. And since my preferred Love Language is physical touch, this replenishes my depleted emotional bank account (from lack of seeing him through the week). My second preferred LL is quality time. When we're together, we're together; so that helps a lot too. Again, there are times when I know he needs to breathe, so I lay off until he invites me back in.

Intelligent conversation: This is important to me, too. I know many like to think that INFJs are "feelers," and that's partially true, but we're also called "logical feelers." One of my favorite sayings is, "You can't make sense out of nonsense." When I'm discussing an important matter, I'm doing it in order to 1) improve myself; 2) improve a situation; 3) improve my understanding of myself, someone else, or a situation. If I'm wrong about something, I want to know it...and I want to know why.

When ISTP's finally decide it is "okay" for them to show their emotion in true form, it will be touchy feely because that is the only way we can naturally express it. When I show my emotion it can, and almost always is, very raw and childlike. When I feel the emotion, I don't want it to linger because I know I cannot handle it. I want to get it out, and out of the way. So when that happens it's almost like "hurry, hurry, hurry". When it comes, the easiest way is a physical touch, and really rushed. I want to transfer my emotional energy away from me, and towards the person on the receiving end in a manner thats can represent "here, you take it, I don't want it". It is hard to enjoy something that can throw myself so off balance. That is what makes it so damn frustrating.

[Erbse]

To quote an INFJ friend of mine:

"Erbse, not everyone can be a robot!".

So much for the logcial INFJ.

On a side note, my inner world has a large "No trespassing" sign at its entrance.

[TomRoberts]

i agree with both of these ^ emotions are heavily avoided by the ISTP (to put it simply).

ISTP's lead a dual lifestyle of being:
- an extrovert spontaneous crazy person
- a deep introvert world where we dislike others to enter.

this is another reason we need space to cater for both our sides. you ISTP's in agreement with this??

[MXZCCT]

i agree with both of these ^ emotions are heavily avoided by the ISTP (to put it simply).

ISTP's lead a dual lifestyle of being:
- an extrovert spontaneous crazy person
- a deep introvert world where we dislike others to enter.

this is another reason we need space to cater for both our sides. you ISTP's in agreement with this??

Yeah, pretty much.

[Jorji]

well, ISTP's are "The mechanics" and are hands on (kinaesthetic learners) and are bound to be hands on. also, i dont want to go too personal but ive seen on a few websites that ISTP's are very good in bed. you dont have to answer of course, but i am curious . . . would you say this is true? a simple yes or no would be adequate.

Incredible (how's that for yes or no)

also with the intelligent conversation, if you come off as being TOO intelligent you may emasculate him (alot of guys are intimidated by a female who comes off as being smarter than him) i suppose its a balance you have find like all other things.

Good point. Sometimes, I'll talk about personality type and why we do what we do. He hangs with me for a bit, but I know it's probably not something he'll ever be extremely interested in. Regardless, he's very intelligent, so it never feels like I'm holding the reins in any of our conversations.

finally i imagine it being a quiet relationship if you're both introverts (as opposed to the usual extrovert - introvert bond) however you're an abstract thinker so he probably enjoys the conversation with you and being a feeler you probably bring out his deeper emotions.

It's refreshing. All of my past relationships have been with extroverts. They were draining and somewhat superficial (disclaimer: not all extroverts are draining and superficial...just the ones I ended up with). What's refreshing about him is that he "gets it." There are times when I say things with a twist and never expect anyone to really get it...but he does. It catches me off guard that he's actually paying attention. I do the same with him. Both being introverted, we're watchers. We *know* what's going on. When we're together and we see something happen, all we have to do is look at each other like, "Did you see that, too?" No words exchanged, validation for him, warm fuzzies for me :)

on thing i can say is though, ISTP's may come of as being mysterious and they are infact deep complex thinkers. however they usually have straight forward and simple wants and needs and may make this clear (if not bluntly then subtly)

He's very clear about his wants and needs. "You gonna make coffee?...Stronger?" There are other examples, but I'm not going there right now :D I don't have to worry that he's secretly hoping I'll pick up on subtle hints.

do you have any questions you may wish to ask an ISTP???

I can't think of any right now. I've been asking different things in other threads, and the responses are always helpful. I'm somewhat amazed by the willingness of ISTPs to put so much time and thought into how they respond. What initiated my post about wanting to be inside his head is more from a desire to actually experience how he thinks and what he thinks about. I'm a hands-on learner. I can read about something and learn, but only when I experience it can I truly understand.

[Jorji]

very raw and childlike

I don't want it to linger because I know I cannot handle it.

When it comes, the easiest way is a physical touch, and really rushed. I want to transfer my emotional energy away from me, and towards the person on the receiving end in a manner thats can represent "here, you take it, I don't want it".

It is hard to enjoy something that can throw myself so off balance. That is what makes it so damn frustrating.

This insight is great!

I can see the "childlike" thing in him.

Maybe a lot of people (not just ISTPs) feel the same way about transferring emotional energy. It's highly uncomfortable to feel it and not be able to give it away. Prolly why we're not extinct :)

In natural horsemanship courses, they talk about taking your horse just beyond their comfort level, and when the horse becomes a little too nervous, you bring it back to that comfort level for a time. Every time you repeat it, just take it only to the brink of what he handle and then retreat. I don't know if this method could help an ISTP overcome some of their discomfort in feeling strong emotions or not...just a thought. It would require a very understanding mate, for sure.

On a side note, my inner world has a large "No trespassing" sign at its entrance.

"No trespassing," but you can come in, if I invite you. Not speaking for you, of course...but that's how it is with my ISTP.

[MXZCCT]

This insight is great!

I can see the "childlike" thing in him.

Maybe a lot of people (not just ISTPs) feel the same way about transferring emotional energy. It's highly uncomfortable to feel it and not be able to give it away. Prolly why we're not extinct :)

In natural horsemanship courses, they talk about taking your horse just beyond their comfort level, and when the horse becomes a little too nervous, you bring it back to that comfort level for a time. Every time you repeat it, just take it only to the brink of what he handle and then retreat. I don't know if this method could help an ISTP overcome some of their discomfort in feeling strong emotions or not...just a thought. It would require a very understanding mate, for sure.

I bet it would work under the correct circumstances.