So I'm processing out of the navy. I'm currently working with some civilians who are really nice to me. Yet for some reason I keep beating myself up over this. I feel like I'm just waiting for a storm to hit. I'm waiting for them to get sick of my "attitude" and just start hating me. I feel like its looming on the horizon constantly, and that really bugs me. Every time I do something I don't enjoy, its blatantly obvious. I smile and say "roger that" and do what I'm told, but my intense boredom is probably very visible. It pisses people off. I gave a small intro speech to my co-workers telling them i'm a lone wolf and I have a very dispassionate face and not to take it personally. They agreed or whatever. Anyway I just constantly hate myself right now. I'm in this office doing things that are not challenging. I have no problem drudging through boring ass work, but what gets me is that soon, co workers are going to start giving me the stink eye and talking behind my back. Its happened almost every single fucking time I change commands. It really bums me out, the whole day I'll just get depressed because I sit here and think about what could happen. The other day I said, "I'm pretty good at fixing things" when one of them mentioned the printer breaks a lot. She just sorta froze like she wasn't sure how to take my comment... like there was something wrong that I said.
Shit like that. I'm getting fucking sick of it. It never ends.
Can anyone relate?