[DJArendee]

So I'm processing out of the navy. I'm currently working with some civilians who are really nice to me. Yet for some reason I keep beating myself up over this. I feel like I'm just waiting for a storm to hit. I'm waiting for them to get sick of my "attitude" and just start hating me. I feel like its looming on the horizon constantly, and that really bugs me. Every time I do something I don't enjoy, its blatantly obvious. I smile and say "roger that" and do what I'm told, but my intense boredom is probably very visible. It pisses people off. I gave a small intro speech to my co-workers telling them i'm a lone wolf and I have a very dispassionate face and not to take it personally. They agreed or whatever. Anyway I just constantly hate myself right now. I'm in this office doing things that are not challenging. I have no problem drudging through boring ass work, but what gets me is that soon, co workers are going to start giving me the stink eye and talking behind my back. Its happened almost every single fucking time I change commands. It really bums me out, the whole day I'll just get depressed because I sit here and think about what could happen. The other day I said, "I'm pretty good at fixing things" when one of them mentioned the printer breaks a lot. She just sorta froze like she wasn't sure how to take my comment... like there was something wrong that I said.



Shit like that. I'm getting fucking sick of it. It never ends.

Can anyone relate?

[Jens]

Your comment about being good at fixing things can easily make some people uneasy. Especially women, I think, as they often tend to have lower self-esteem than most men. If it's true, what's wrong in saying it?! Next time, go fix the printer. Preferably without saying anything.
I think your inadequacy is only (or at least mostly) inside your own head. You don't have to be an ace every day - just be an ace when it counts!

[Istbkleta]

Keirsey says NTs have these constant feelings of inadequacy. I have them.

I think there was something about ISTPs having a real hard time finding out what they like doing exactly, but once they find it they can actually stick to it and do it again and again. I dunno if that's true.

I know 3 ISTPs and 1 of them is really social. None has anything that can be called a stable career.

So don't worry - I guess look for what it is you really really absolutely love doing and stick to it.

[Era]

Shit like that. I'm getting fucking sick of it. It never ends.

Can anyone relate?

Yes, I often get that look from people that says, "I hate your essence." I hate them back though, so it's ok. I don't equate it with inadequacy on my part, I equate it with them being my natural enemies. Some of us have more than our fair share of those.

[DustyDrill]

I've felt short bursts of inadequacy when something shitty happens in which I'm at fault, but once it happens once it never happens again. So those moments are fewer and further between. I don't often get feelings of inadequacy due to interactions with people, unless I've genuinely fucked up. I'm never worried about my demeanor. Only my actions. If I'm having a rough day and someone doesn't like how I'm dealing with it, that's their problem. Being non-expressive and drone-like isn't a crime, as long as I still get work done.

[reletative]

So I'm gonna be kind of presumptuous and ask you if perhaps inferior Fe is playing a role here.

Are you sure you don't have a sense of failure that you're "quitting" something? And perhaps it's coming out in beating yourself up and reading judgment in other people.


So thats just an idea. Take it or leave it.

[Galldune]

^^ What Khys said. I went through similar when I left the air force. (Why does the thanks button not show up sometimes)

[error]

I've wondered if the reason I push people away might be because I'm afraid that I will inevitably disappoint them.

[Eye of the Potato]

Why would someone get offended for saying you are good at fixing things? That makes no sense. That's not an offesive thing to say. Maybe she misread some sort of sexual connotation in what you said but wasn't sure, so she didn't know what to say. That seems more plausable to me.

[DJArendee]

Why would someone get offended for saying you are good at fixing things? That makes no sense. That's not an offesive thing to say. Maybe she misread some sort of sexual connotation in what you said but wasn't sure, so she didn't know what to say. That seems more plausable to me.

You don't understand ISTP's. Nothing we say is offensive unless we intend it to be, its the manner we say it that offends people. We lack the passion to make our words sound positive, so most people assume them to be negative. That's how Fe works. That's why EXFJ's can still look adorable and say terrible things.

@Khys... It doesn't feel like I failed, it feels like I've been banished or kicked out of the club. I don't belong. You get in trouble for stupid things. Wearing the wrong socks, hair touching your ears, etc. You can get in trouble for ANYTHING if someone is passionate enough to just want to fuck you over. So I have to constantly have my guard up. I just feel like I can't meet these standards on a consistent basis.

@error... YES. I know I can't please people. So I get them away from me because I can feel their hurt when it finally happens, and most people make me feel like a terrible person for this reason. Its a vicious cycle. I push them away, yet some of them get angry and make my life worse *cough* stj's *cough*.