[reletative]

i'm getting lost



Ok so do you already have a FwB with this girl?
And you're considering returning to a more committed relationship?

Or is it that you are trying to decide between a FwB and a LTR?

Or something else entirely?

[DustyDrill]

i'm getting lost

Ok so do you already have a FwB with this girl?
And you're considering returning to a more committed relationship?

Or is it that you are trying to decide between a FwB and a LTR?

Or something else entirely?

Trying to decide. Can't really get fucked over in a FWB situation. So I really didn't care to factor that in.

[chinotto]

Jeez Dusty, you didn't mention the whole FwB situation.

Yes, I'd assume that the physical involvement is stirring up feelings for you again. If you continue the physical involvement her feelings will continue to intensify as her brain starts re-exploring whether you guys could be good together and under what circumstances. Her feelings may continue if you cut her off, but at least she won't be emotionally bonding with you on the DL.

An ENFP in party-mode is probably disconnected from herself and meaning in her life. She may be revisiting the meaning and connection she had in you. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Something probably needs to kick her ass into gear. Besides you?

Proceed With Caution. If you value the friendship consider cutting off the FwB. And maybe be straight with her on that.

Just some ENFP conjecturing for you, you know the situation best.

[reletative]

@Mendi the ISFJ I think you might just be a little put off by the sort of detached way Dusty is looking at the situation. ISTPs tend to compartmentalize during the Ti process.

I dunno, I could be wrong, but I remember when someone I really really loved broke up with me, and then wanted to get back together about 3 months later, and I really had shut off all feeling for him, and I probably sounded the same as Dusty does in my head while I processed whether or not I would like to open up that door again. (i decided not to, btw) It doesn't mean he doesn't love her, he's just being cautious about the risk involved with letting her in again.

@DustyDrill can correct me if I'm wrong.

[chinotto]

furthermore : ) I conjecture that her asking you if you still love her, is her way of testing whether she should take her resurfacing feelings for your seriously, or not. She is evaluating whether you could be a serious boyfriend for her, or more than FwB, or what.

Maybe she's clearer on all this than I'm thinking. It's possible.

Clearly you both care about each other.
Stay Classy! : )

[Grim]

Well... factor this in to your process here.
Two biggest reasons why relationships fail: fear and selfishness.
I see both of those present to one degree or another.

[DustyDrill]

@Mendi the ISFJ I think you might just be a little put off by the sort of detached way Dusty is looking at the situation. ISTPs tend to compartmentalize during the Ti process.

I dunno, I could be wrong, but I remember when someone I really really loved broke up with me, and then wanted to get back together about 3 months later, and I really had shut off all feeling for him, and I probably sounded the same as Dusty does in my head while I processed whether or not I would like to open up that door again. (i decided not to, btw) It doesn't mean he doesn't love her, he's just being cautious about the risk involved with letting her in again.

@DustyDrill can correct me if I'm wrong.

Exactly right. This is why I come here.

The world is full of Mendis. People who shit on me because I don't look at things in black and white, and I don't feel the need to think, act and speak in a way that is accepted by the majority.

Mendi, I understand your disgust, but I'm not talking to you or about you. I'm talking to people that understand my thought process about someone that I loved more than you'll ever know. My thinking is cold, but I'm still human. If I were a sociopathic robot I wouldn't be asking for advice.

[tottoyou]

furthermore : ) I conjecture that her asking you if you still love her, is her way of testing whether she should take her resurfacing feelings for your seriously, or not. She is evaluating whether you could be a serious boyfriend for her, or more than FwB, or what.

Maybe she's clearer on all this than I'm thinking. It's possible.

Clearly you both care about each other.
Stay Classy! : )

SO CUTE!
/10char again

[Mendi the ISFJ]

I think you might just be a little put off by the sort of detached way Dusty is looking at the situation. ISTPs tend to compartmentalize during the Ti process.

I dunno, I could be wrong, but I remember when someone I really really loved broke up with me, and then wanted to get back together about 3 months later, and I really had shut off all feeling for him, and I probably sounded the same as Dusty does in my head while I processed whether or not I would like to open up that door again. (i decided not to, btw) It doesn't mean he doesn't love her, he's just being cautious about the risk involved with letting her in again.

possibly but it also has to do with how he "speaks" and his disturbing thought process about women. First who makes rules for a woman? The word rules would have been better stated as "suggestions" or "the only situation i can accept" and when referring to tits and ass, maybe "i think im only attracted to her physically". I also hate hate hate the term "butthurt" and am convinced that only douches use this term. So in short, i dont think he has the right stuff to keep a Feeler happy and he could just be selfish on his own instead of being selfish with a sad feeler attached.

[DustyDrill]

Well... factor this in to your process here.
Two biggest reasons why relationships fail: fear and selfishness.
I see both of those present to one degree or another.

Good point. But I would be cautious and selfish with any woman. Trust issues are rampant within me, I understand that. Not because I have confidence issues, but because other people aren't me. I can't trust them to act and think according to my values. Therefore trust has to be earned, and until it is they're in the untrustworthy pile with everyone else.

The easiest way to keep my distance until someone builds that trust is to be selfish.