[briesas]

Okay, So there is a fair amount I've read about istp's needing to withdraw to process when they are stressed or confused, in particular by a romantic or intimate relationship. But then there are these caveats mixed in, it seems to me, about istp's cutting and running, especially when hurt or - here's the part that confuses me a little bit -- if you're too stressed. i know this may be a really hard one for you all to answer - , is it ever like 'well, this person understood me well and was really persistent, and honest, but i just have to completely disengage from this (aka 'cut and run,' sorry if that sounds offensive) as opposed to 'take time to process.' Where's that line between withdrawing and completely walking away in your experience, if there is one?

[barathrum]

Withdrawing means there is just an period of time where you need space to process or whatever. Cut and run means you cut someone out of your life and never look back, like if you believe the bridge between you is burned or if you want it burned.

I would never cut someone out of my life, who I thought understood me well (rare), because they are a positive source. Why would you cut something positive out of your life? Its illogical. You cut and run on those that are negative sources for you, that will not provide future benefit. There is no need for excessive negative sources in our life, its seems like we have enough as is.

I don't know if that answered anything because it was hard for me to understand the question.

[Eye of the Potato]

Oh for fuck sake, I had a big long message typed out there but I lost my internet connection. That's what I get for stealing from the neighbours I suppose!

I think they run away out of fear and plan to stay away but those pesky feelings don't go away so they come back to find out what happened. I think if they have a lot invested in you they will not give up lightly.

We told each other so many times that it was all off and there was definitely no going back after whatever drama happened but we always pinned after each other and gave in. No matter what.

I think the tipping point would come like what precurser said, if he realised you weren't benefiting him in any way. If you are an enfp you will have the capacity to understand him so I don't see why he would not know and value this in you.

[Duck_of_Death]

I won't lie--

I have a fear of emotional intimacy; I have trouble forming "bonds" with people despite their best efforts to do so. I always keep those close to me at arms length. And when I get the vibe that a relationship or even friendship is headed in that direction...that's when I bail.

It isn't right and I'm aware that I've hurt people by doing this. But it is what it is.

Other times I will dismiss people if they're a negative influence in my life or if they're just straight up obnoxious. A maudlin George Bailey I am not--I have no logical reason to keep them around.

[Eye of the Potato]

I won't lie--

I have a fear of emotional intimacy; I have trouble forming "bonds" with people despite their best efforts to do so. I always keep those close to me at arms length. And when I get the vibe that a relationship or even friendship is headed in that direction...that's when I bail.

It isn't right and I'm aware that I've hurt people by doing this. But it is what it is.

Other times I will dismiss people if they're a negative influence in my life or if they're just straight up obnoxious. A maudlin George Bailey I am not--I have no logical reason to keep them around.

But would the fact that someone was persistent in not giving up on you make you rethink things? If that person understood you and gave you good things that is.

[Duck_of_Death]

I often think of them as "manipulative" or "weak", honestly. What's done is done. Move on.

[Eye of the Potato]

I often think of them as "manipulative" or "weak", honestly. What's done is done. Move on.

I think you could be misjudging a lot of situations if you think that. A person isn't weak for knowing who they want. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe you just haven't met anyone worthy yet.

[Duck_of_Death]

If I want to talk to those people again, I will seek them out. Pushing the issue will only farther the distance.

I have a very personal code of honor. It's as simple as this: Once I lose respect for you, you'll never get it back. I don't care what you do, what you're willing to offer me, blah, blah, blah. We're done.

Oh, and if I never respected you in the first place don't bother me at all. Just don't.

We call this: Sense of self. You should try it. Works wonders.

[Eye of the Potato]

If I want to talk to those people again, I will seek them out. Pushing the issue will only farther the distance.

I have a very personal code of honor. It's as simple as this: Once I lose respect for you, you'll never get it back. I don't care what you do, what you're willing to offer me, blah, blah, blah. We're done.

Oh, and if I never respected you in the first place don't bother me at all. Just don't.

We call this: Sense of self. You should try it. Works wonders.

Well I guess that could be the question the OP should have asked. What is the likelihood of him loosing respect for her and wanting to bail? So I suppose I'll have to ask what would cause you to loose respect for someone? Are there any things you would let slide?

[Eye of the Potato]

If I want to talk to those people again, I will seek them out. Pushing the issue will only farther the distance.

I have a very personal code of honor. It's as simple as this: Once I lose respect for you, you'll never get it back. I don't care what you do, what you're willing to offer me, blah, blah, blah. We're done.

Oh, and if I never respected you in the first place don't bother me at all. Just don't.

We call this: Sense of self. You should try it. Works wonders.

Well I guess that could be the question the OP should have asked. What is the likelihood of him loosing respect for her and wanting to bail? So I suppose I'll have to ask what would cause you to loose respect for someone? Are there any things you would let slide?